Can Someone Please Buy Richard Simmons a New Pair of Shorts?

Preferably some longer ones? PLEASE.



Richard with Jimmy Kimmel

Snoop Switches Up His "Look"

How Rude!

Jody Sweetin and her hideous hub Cody Herpes have a reality show. Can't wait. The lovable Full House meth head says there's no title yet. How about "Crack House?"

Angry Lesbian Outing Part 364

Katie Holmes : A Big, Manly, Friendless, Bitchy Dyke.

She thinks she's cool! So corny, nice Gladiator sandals. UGH

Abused Miniature Dwarf Goes To Court

Dwarf Mini and Ranae Shrider in happier times. Now, Verne claims she has battered him sexually and physically, and caused his emotional distress. Oh boo hoo.

“When you pick up a 2′8″ human dwarf and throw him to the floor, it hurts.” said Troyer's attorney.

Ranae once picked the lock to his bedroom door, pushing away a 100 pound scooter that was used to block the door, and then throwing him to the floor Troyer claims his damages from all that Schrider did to him exceed $20 million.

Kate Hudson is a Desperate Slut

Why did Lance Armstrong end it with Kate Hudson? The same reason every other man does. She's a bitchy know-it-all, and a clingy whiner.

Seems the Tour de France champ and cancer survival poster boy was feeling a bit ‘’smothered” by the actress. According to an Armstrong associate at his Livestrong charity foundation, the sports hero felt Hudson was ”just too needy,” and was coming on ”too strong, too fast … sensing Kate was way too desperate, a woman who clearly can’t be on her own without a man in her life at all times.”

He may have a point. Hudson always seems to escalate her relationships quickly — even turning things into familylike outings with her son Ryder ever-present, as he has been with Armstrong and with Hudson’s last flame, Owen Wilson.

One thing Armstrong reportedly liked about ex-girlfriend Sheryl Crow — and one reason that relationship lasted as long as it did — was that ”Sheryl’s one very independent woman. … Lance liked that,” said the source. But he's such a creepy weasel that he broke up with her when he found out she had cancer. What a guy. UGH.

Kate's stinky ex Chris Robinson and Ryder

In other big news, Kate has powerful B.O., as she won't wear deodorant, and her son wants his hair cut.

Coke Monster Blohan Thrown Out of Party

Trailer whore Dina Lohan got herself and her hideously UGLY daughter Ali kicked out of the after party for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 premiere.”

Of course Dina claims she wasn’t kicked out — she voluntarily left the party because a studio staffer “raised his voice” at her. Oh dear!!

E! Online’s Marc Malkin says:

Sources report that when coke slut Dina, Ali and a friend of Ali’s arrived to the after-party, they sat down at a reserved table. A studio staffer politely asked her to change tables, but “Long Island tramp Dina “went crazy as if she were some sort of celebrity,” a partygoer tells me. She was screaming, "I'm ready to rumble, bitches!"

“It so wasn’t cool.”So not cool that “Dina was thrown out” from the rooftop soirée , another source says. Dina, however, claims she decided to ditch the party because she says that the studio staffer started raising his voice.

“He made the girls uncomfortable,” Dina wrote in an email to me this afternoon. “At that point, the girls wanted to leave.” Um... what were 13 year old girls doing at a soirée anyway? uGH.

But my party source insists, the studio folks “couldn’t have been nicer . . . Dina was so awful, such nasty gutter trash.” wow, shocking.

Jessica: A Failure at Everything

Jessica was booed by the disgusted country fans. LOL!!!

Next up for the talentless cow? She'll attempt to write a children's book, then pose for Hustler magazine. Corny loser Jessica Simpson continues to make everyone hate her with statements like this:

"Tonight there's this guy here, he throws a football and he's really good at it. He's my better tomorrow and I wrote this song for him." - J. Simpson on her song "You're My Sunday," dedicated to Tony Romo at Country Thunder USA, where fans booed.

Asshole Thinks This is Something to Brag About

“It’s funny. I keep hearing Ashton Kutcher say how he was responsible for trucker caps. I’ve heard him make that statement before.

Trace and I were wearing them when we were seventeen. We just kind of didn’t care. We kind of still don’t.”

OH YAY

Oh yay. Vulgar real funny bull dyke child abuser O'Donnell is returning to T.V.! OMG can't she just go away?? Here, O'Donnell is seen with a bright red clown's nose... oh, wait that's just her alcoholic's nose

Donald Trump said:

"Rosie is a big, sad, fat failure. She's a slob and has no talent, yet she keeps forcing herself on us, the same way she forces food into her obese body. She's a very sick woman, and I don't know a single soul alive who can stand her. She is so awful to look at that no one will watch her show. I would feel sorry for her, but she's a disgusting pig. I will enjoy watching as her show is canceled after a few gut wrenching installments. She is very obnoxious, and probably the ugliest person I know. She's very fat and no one likes her. She thinks she's cool, which is deeply tragic. Her armpits smell like red onions. And she's really evil, not a nice person at all."

Abusive and violent to her lover and her kids, sweathog O'Donnell is shown here with cut all over her big fat hands


Rosie has a winning smile, very natural and warm

Fat Pig O'Donnell has a fashion sense that's up to the minute! Here, she "sizzles" in a plum print duster, paired with some faded black sweat clothes, which leave nothing to the imagination!

The Hogans Are Such Idiots

Linda Bollea Hogan has toned down her clown make-up at the request of her 19 year old "soul mate." Sorry, Linda. You still look like a corpse. Nice try, though. Here she is stopping by the prison to give her son Nick a stupid skateboard for his eighteenth birthday. Maybe he can use it to escape! SO RETARDED

Amy O.D.'s, Chicken Cures Her

Amy only hours before being rushed to the hospital

Paramedics were careful with the delicate , freshly washed beauty as they took her to the hospital at 3:45 A.M.

The many faces of Amy, all hauntingly beautiful

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Amy's dad brought KFC to the hospital, and she was released a few hours later

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Amy's Wacky Weekend

Amy punches the metal grill outside a shop

She began the night in high spirits, squirting water with a high-powered jet from her garage at fans gathered outside her Camden, north London, home shortly before 1am.

About half an hour later she stumbled to a live music bar Stables at Camden's Proud Galleries.

She started running to the club with a mystery pal, telling photographers she was going to take them on a trip round the back streets.
She also told them - bizarrely - their mothers would like her because 'it kept it interesting'. Huh?

After her burst of crack fueled energy Amy needs a sit down

Before she got to the club she slumped down outside a shop, pushing her security guard away.

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Madonna is haggard, old, and ugly. I personally know 50 year old's who are way hotter and younger looking than her, and they don't have 300 million dollars.
Lourdes and the crypt keeper attend a Kabbalah meeting

Lourdes is a hairy faced beast, who draws even more attention to her ape-like appearance by wearing some freaky gladiator headband that accents her furry brows, stash... and it even appears she has a goatee forming! UGH

So Creepy

This is so inappropriate and gross. The Crocodile Hunter's fam are a bunch of FREAKS.
Thumbs up! "Ay matey! Let's put Daddy on a cake and smile big grotesque cheesy smiles because he was murdered by a fish, and we're going to cash in as long and as hard as we can!" UGH. Go away.

Lourdes in Crisis!

You mean she's not used to it by now?

Lourdes doesn't like it when we talk bad about her mom. Too bad. More importantly, did she get her big bushy unibrow waxed? Damn it.

New York-based fitness trainer Carlos Leon has been spending extra time with his daughter, as Madonna prepares for her forthcoming world tour, and he is showering her with affection to compensate for her distress.

Leon tells People magazine, “She’s aware of it, and that’s difficult. I just give her more love. Her mother is there for her, (Except when she's on world tours, or completely immersed in her Kaballah bullshit) Guy is there for her.”

And he insists there is no truth to the reports Madonna and Ritchie are splitting: “People have marital problems all the time.”

Richie Sambora Stalks Heather Locklear

Bloated Richie Sambora

called Heather every day she was in rehab, but her boyfriend Jack Wagner only visited twice. Us Weekly reports:

Heather Locklear’s ex-husband Richie Sambora (who struggles with alcoholism) called her daily during her recent four-week stint in rehab for depression and anxiety, the Chicago Sun-Times reports. (The paper claims she also may have been treated for prescription drug issues.) She didn't want him bothering her, because he is a big, flabby, annoying, cheating drunk.

The source says that Locklear, 46, told the other patients at the Arizona facility that she felt the world was closing in on her before she sought help. The source adds that Locklear felt people expected her “to be perfect, always beautiful.” During her stay, the source says Locklear “couldn’t have been warmer or more approachable. There was no diva behavior. She was totally genuine, down-to-earth and warm.”

She often enjoyed riding horses. She even told patients that she wanted to make a Western film “so I can better work on my riding skills,” the insider says. At one point during rehab, Locklear was overheard singing and said she’d love to record an album, the source says.

Oh yeah and Denise Richards is a liar. Big Shock.

“Heather has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him. Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on when she and now ex-husband Charlie Sheen split up - there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split. And then a few weeks later - not months - Denise starts dating Richie. For Denise to claim that not only did she not initiate contact with Richie but that she and Heather weren’t friends for three months before she took up with him, well, that’s just absurd and an outright lie.

Please Kill Her

"People think I'm sexy because I feel sexy."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey Y'All

More Proof That Scientology is Cool

Priscilla and son Navarone in happier times

Lisa Marie Presley is a pothead and her younger brother Navarone is a drug dealer. Navarone, 20, is the son of Lisa's mom Priscilla and some cornball she was with in the eighties, Marco.

Navarone Garabaldi, 20, was a devout Scientologist who had just finished his student ministry work, when he was arrested in Glendale, Ca. for possession of hallucinogenic mushrooms. LOL!!
Long time Scientologist Priscilla couldn't be prouder!

Priscilla and hideous Navarone at some corny outing where she dragged him along

Yum

Tattlebits

Giorgio Armani is smokin' hot, his face stretched tighter than Britney's sweatpants

Brad Pitt shares parenting safety tips with Britney

How many years does this dumb bitch have to go to "driving school?"

Amy enjoys a night on the town

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John Travolta isn't gay

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Unable to drive a real car, Britney spins around the Malibu streets alone in her plastic Escalade

Repulsive puke Screech is writing a tell all book about the cast of Saved By The Bell. Can't wait.

Katie Holmes, looking more like a real man every day in her futile attempt to arouse her tiny husband

"Hey! Where's everybody going?!" roars Big King Kong Khloe Kardashian

Pete Doherty pled guilty to breaking the camera of a paparazzi today


Dog and Beth shop for trailer trash toys


Britney isn't pregnant or retarded looking

she has real pretty clothes

and shoes
these are her new ones

and my personal faves, how her big fat hooves are busting out of her cheap, corny 80's shoes

Amy likes a big morsel of crack

with her fries

and her joint

Lesbians in Crisis!

The deeply committed dykes share a hearty laugh and an intimate cappuccino, their love protected from the world's prying eyes in a swirl of smoke

The inseparable pair are always glowing with the misty light of their love

The Long Island gutter tramp stepped with her hideous lover in New York last night wearing a T-shirt decorated with a silhouette that looked just like Sam, complete with ridiculous hat and cigarette.
It was topped with the French term for love - 'j'adore'.

The filthy, miserable lovers at New York's Waverly Inn last night

Lindsay is in a constant state of intense pain and agony! Friends would be worried.. but she doesn't have any

Lindsay's attempts to be sexy have only rewarded her with the admiration of one other living soul... and that is her beloved Sam

Lynne Spears is a Murderer

Lyne was enraged when the news broke, and told a friend:
"Everyone needs to get over it.. I HAVE"

Evil Lynne feels no remorse

After years of careful tending to the Spears Family Name and glowing reputation, it has now come to light that Lynne Spears killed a 12 year old boy when she was 20 years old. The innocent child was riding his bike down a Kentwood, Louisiana dirt road. (The only kind of roads they have in Kentwood) It is said that Lynne was in the midst of a sex act at the time! Lynne was a slut? No way, I won't believe it.
After the accident, Lynne began dressing like the unibomber

Lynne has long been known for her psychotic rages

When the news of Lynne's criminal background was leaked to the press, clever Lynne quickly drove to a cemetery and pretended to mourn, as she sat deep in thought and prayer by the 12 year old boy's grave site. Lynne later snorted to a pal that she was really planning her grocery list.

Brooke Hogan is a Sweaty Liar With Ween Rash

Brooke signed a court document that claimed the Hulking one beat Linda, but she was lying.

Brooke's rep says: "Brooke Bollea is distressed at the latest efforts by her cow mother, Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry's behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father."
Oh, she was upset, so that means she WASN'T LYING.

Brooke and mom Linda in happier times

Linda poses in a REALLY NATURAL way to attempt to hide her sagging jowls. Yeah, alot of us REST OUR HEAD IN OUR HAND WHILE WE'RE STANDING UP

"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," Big, sweaty Brooke says. "But using children as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."
(And someone should tell the gigantic man-beast that she isn't a CHILD.) UGH

Bonus! Brooke's ween rash

In this photo: Start Tagging

Even when Brooke wears lingerie, she looks suspiciously like a man at all times

Angelina: "TOO MUCH TROUBLE Trying to Get Pregnant"

Angelina didn't want to have to bother to TRY TO GET PREGNANT. So obvious, since she had twins. Us Weekly reports:

They conceived through in vitro fertilization," a well-placed source within their camp tells Us. "They both desperately wanted more babies soon." The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent. The actress chose the procedure (which can cost around $12,000 a pop) so "she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant," the source tells Us. "She could just knock it out." How romantic. UGH.

Happy Lesbo Pics of the Day

Matty Cakes Leaves Right After Sex

More "steamy" details have emerged about Matthew Broderick's secret affair! LOL Like anyone cares! Here they are:

Sources say the woman felt conflicted with her relationship with Matthew, whom she nicknamed “Matty Cakes.” She tried to end it, say insiders, but that didn’t happen and over the next month — when Sarah Jessica was filming Sex and the City: The Movie in Los Angeles — multiple eyewitnesses say they saw Matthew make late-night visits to the other woman’s apartment building.During one tryst, they arrived at her friend’s apartment after a night of heavy drinking, says a source. She dragged Matthew into the friend’s bedroom, then shut the door. “A half hour later, Matthew opened the bedroom door, mumbled ‘Well… ‘bye!’ and walked out. The friend found her passed out on the bed in her panties.”

Britney: OOPS She's Still Gross

Britney just yesterday, looking dewy fresh

"Sean, I thought we agreed you wouldn't smoke until you're 12..."

Another Angry Lesbian Outing

If being a lesbo is so great, why are they always so mad? These two skanky crackheads don't have an interesting trait between them. One plays albums and the other one is Long Island gutter trash.

From Gawker:
We really did not pay much attention to them once we were seated, except at the end of their meal when Lindsay stood up and stepped/stumbled on my friend's foot. Without looking back or apologizing she headed straight out the door. We guess her exit was spontaneous as Samantha was behind her sputtering: 'Are you leaving?' 'Lindsay are you leaving?' ' Babygirl, please don't leave me! (Sam choked as she fought back her salty tears of regret.)





The pain of being in a lesbo love affair is evident on Lindsay's once soft, carefree face, as the burden of their (really happy) love suddenly becomes too much to bear

No Thanks

Oh God, please go away somewhere, and take Jessica Simpson with you. Man shaped Brooke Hogan has been offered a role as a big meaty freak in Playboy Magazine.
And she didn’t say no. I'm going out on a limb and saying no one wants to see this cow naked.

The “Brooke Hogan Knows Best” loser, (who not only doesn't know best, but doesn't know anything) 20, could use a boost for her stagnant and non-existent "career." Hogan’s 2006 album “Undiscovered” reportedly sold just 27,000 copies.

But her father, Hulk Hogan sure will be jealous, because no one should see her naked except him.

Brooke has posed for a men’s magazine in the past (she appeared on the cover of FHM in a skimpy bikini in 2006), but has never posed nude. “No decision has been made at this time,” her rep said.

What's next? A pictorial of her and her hideous friend in a lesbo layout?

So Gross I'm Stunned Into Silence

Heidi and Spencer go shopping for a mansion. I don't even know where to start, so I can't speak

GIVE UP. THERE IS NO CAREER.

With the crowd of country fans booing her, retard Jessica only made the angry lynch mob boo louder, as she insulted them by assuming they bought the tabloids:

"I don't know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I'm just a girl from Texas; I'm just like you. I'm doing what I love and dating a boy," Simpson said.

Oh boo hoo, go home. I like your UGLY boyfriend, ugh

Wash your hair while you're there too

Boring Matthew Broderick Cheats on Horseface

Sarah often brags about her perfect marriage, and has publicly wondered if her husband is gay
While Sarah Jessica, (who is often mistaken for a horse)

was frantically searching for corny, boring Matthew Broderick

one night earlier this year, he was having sex with a gorgeous redhead half his age, the young woman told a friend. After meeting in a bar, Matthew began text messaging the 25-year-old youth counselor, says the woman's pal.

Soon after, the insider claims, they began seeing each other and things got passionate quickly when they met at the Manhattan townhouse of a "showbiz friend."

They Wish

Why does Amy look so good?


Because its the wax Amy, recently unveiled at Madam Tussaud's in London. Her parents posed proudly with the statue of their daughter,

but Amy was at a crack party, and couldn't bother to attend.

To make the wax Amy appear more authentic, after the unveiling, those in attendance were asked to burn her statue with cigarettes and slice up the arms with knives

Then, the crowd roared with laughter as they rolled Amy's wax likeness (which looks nothing like her) in a large barrel of garbage, and ran over it several times with their cars.

Christian Bale's Mom Beat HIM Up

Christian Bale was arrested Sunday night in London for assaulting his mom, and sounds to me like she deserved it. How dare she ask him for money! Loser. A tipster provided an inside look at "what went down."

His mom and sister are alcoholics and drug addicts, they showed up at his hotel uninvited and highly intoxicated. they were calling him big shot and that he needs to take care of his own. His mom was yelling that he would be nothing without her and he owed her. His sister was begging for money and when he was pushing her toward the door his mother came from behind and started hitting him on his head and kicking him. He managed to push them both out the door and his mom fell, they called the police and wanted him arrested. I believe that Chirstian is the victim here not his mom or sister

edna @ 07/22/2008 at 10:20 am

My father works security at the hotel, and he said it was a mess. His mom and sister wanted the front desk worker to let them into his room to wait for him. When they were told no they started cussing and yelling. they sat in front of his door for an hour until he finally arrived.

Frances Bean Grows Up (Sort of)

Frances Bean Cobain daughter of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love, is a spoiled brat and pretty freaky. Wow, what a shock...

Most magazine interns fetch coffee, run errands for editors and do some actual work - but maybe not Frances Bean Cobain. The 15-year-old daughter of Courtney Love and Nirvana rocker Kurt Cobain is the new summer aide at Rolling Stone. Insiders say “she doesn’t get coffee for anyone . . . calls in sick all the time and wears funny outfits.” A Rolling Stone rep denied the story, telling Page Six, “She’s a great girl, and we’re thrilled to have her.”

What does Frances aspire to be?
"I want to be sublimely happy. I want to be able to live in a way that isn't too hectic. Calm. And I want those around me to be sublimely happy as well.

"But," she continues, her big green-blue-yellow-purple-orange-gray eyes widening, "I'm really scared to hit adulthood because if everything is this hectic and I'm only 15 years old, what the hell is going to happen when I'm 22?"

What a BITCH

Amy Wants Five Kids

Amy Winehouse has revealed that she wants at least five children with her handsome, jailed husband Blake.

In an interview published today, Winehouse talked of the couple's plans for a large family.

'I want at least five kids,' she said. 'I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing dad.' said the hideous crackhead. She said the couple wanted identical twins. AHHHH!!!!!!

Hopefully, the twins would look just like delicately beautiful Amy

Amy would make a great mom

Amy has the hands of a rotting corpse, perfect for gently tending to the needs of her five children

But Fielder-Civil will not be released until at least December after admitting beating up a pub landlord and attempting to pervert the course of justice.

Mugshot: Blake Fielder-Civil's police picture was released after he was sentenced to 27 months behind bars

German model Sophie Schandorff, 21, was obviously distraught after the hearing. She caused a stir at court in April when she was in Winehouse's usual place to support Fielder-Civil and the couple were seen to mouth 'I love you' to each other.

Blake's new girlfriend Sophie Schandorff broke down outside the court following Blake's sentencing

Meg Ryan Has Saggy Boobs

Meg Ryan is old, and needs a bra

Meg Ryan opted for a saggy bra-less look on a shopping trip in New York
as she wandered the streets of New York's Soho with 15-year-old son Jack Henry.

Alec Baldwin Gets Mad if He's Hot

I totally understand this, as I, too, fly into a triple deluxe rage if I were to sweat. (which is something that I will go out of my way to avoid)
The New York Daily News reports that:

Alec Baldwin turned down Larry King and other interviewers because he wanted to talk first with Diane Sawyer about his divorce memoir, "A Promise to Ourselves." But the "30 Rock" star is said to have turned testy when Sawyer had to reschedule because of husband Mike Nichols' heart surgery.

"Diane's people couldn't believe how angry Baldwin got," says a source. "She was running back from the hospital!" A friend of Baldwin says, "The interview was rescheduled at least four times. Then the air conditioning wasn't working. Alec was a little annoyed, but not with Diane." Sawyer's rep says: "Alec couldn't have been more gracious or considerate to her." All's well that ends well: Baldwin and Sawyer got on so famously, they'll do a second interview before the story airs on "20/20."

Dwarf Vern Troyer Held Prisoner by Evil Girlfriend

A frightened Mini Me, seen here out for a lobster dinner with his captor

Mini Me, who claims he cannot escape his abusive girlfriend, says she has been torturing him and forcing him to have sex.


"He did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big."

Ranae laughs about the time she almost drowned Vern, telling reporters:

"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him."
Anyway: "Verne's voice is just like it is in the films and as he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, ‘Ranae, I can't see! Get me out, I'm drowning!' "
Verne says he hasn't fully recovered from the fact that his ex, aspiring actress Ranae Shrider, leaked their sex tape onto the internet.

"It's been hard," he says in the new issue of Us Weekly, in his first interview since the scandal broke. "I haven't done anything except stay in my house. The fact that I could be close to somebody and for them to do this is the biggest thing that gets me."

Above, Ranae and her diminutive dwarf lover, Vern, in happier times
He says it was initially Shrider's idea to make the tape. She forced me to do it, and to have sex with her when I didn't feel good. "I put all the trust in her," Troyer, 39, tells Us. "She kept the tape in her camera on top of the closet where I couldn't even reach it!"

First claiming the tape was stolen, Shrider later confessed to leaking a portion of it to TMZ.com, Troyer says.

"Hate is a good word," he says when asked about Shrider. "The sad part is, I have a house and she's still renting one of the rooms. She won't leave. I'm trying to see if I can evict her."
Pint sized Troyer fights to contain his excitement on a recent night out with Ranae


Read his entire interview below.
Q. Whose decision was it to do a sex tape?
VT: It was basically both of our decisions. We both equally said, Lets do this. She came up with the idea and at the time, I thought it was great.

Q. Did she give you the tape? How much trust did you put in her with this tape?
VT: I put all the trust in her. She had the tape. Actually, she had the tape in her camera, which was on top of the closet where I couldnt even reach it. I dont have a copy. I just thought it was for us.

Q. She admits to leaking some of the tape. How do you feel?
VT: I feel vindicated that people know that it is her, but it doesnt help how I feel as far as somebody that was in my life, doing that to me.

Q. Do you feel like she used this as a way to get famous?
VT: yes and now she's famous for hurting a little dwarf.

Q. So was the breakup mutual?
VT: No, I broke up with her.
The scorned and misshapen elf exits his vehicle, which he proudly drives himself


Q. Can you talk about why?
VT: Yeah, she has been beating me with her fists and heavy objects.

Q. Did you love her?
VT: No, she's evil.

Q. How do you feel about her now?
VT: Hate is actually a good word. I just very much dislike her right now and the really sad part is, I have a house and she won't leave so I still see her, which makes it even harder.

Q. How do you deal with that?
VT: I dont acknowledge her. Truthfully, I dont really see her that often. I have my own room, and I have everything that I need in my room. I just dont see her, which is good.

Q. Can you get her evicted?
VT: Im in the process of seeing what I can do. She wont leave.

Q. As a famous person, is there always that concern that anybody you date is going to try use to further their career?
VT: Of course, it crosses my mind. You know, I know right now I dont want to date another girl for the rest of my life.

Drew Barrymore: Drinking & Drugs Destroy Her Relationship

Drew Barrymore and "the love of her life", Justin Long, have split amongst reports that Drew has been snorting alot of the white stuff and drinking heavily nightly.
A dumpy and bloated Drew staggers through the streets, desperate for a drink

Until recently, Barrymore and Long had planned to wed – that is until booze resumed its hold on the former child star.
“Justin got tired of having to help Drew to the car at the end of the night,” an insider told The ENQUIRER.
“He felt that Drew’s ‘work hard, play hard’ attitude was more than he could take.”
Drew – who began using drugs and alcohol as a child and did stints in rehab as a teen – now believes she has control over her drinking, the insider divulged.
“Justin gently suggested to Drew that they both slow down on the drinking, and she didn’t take it well,” said the insider.
“Her inability to accept Justin’s advice became the deal breaker.” from The National Enquirer
Below, the feuding couple try to escape photographers

Below is a reprinted email from a tipster:

Hey. I don’t really know if this even really has a point but last week my best friend texted me saying that drew barrymore was in michigan (where i live) filming a movie and her cousin saw her out at a bar and started drinking and what not with her and invited her back to his apt in ann arbor where she stayed there till like 5 a.m. i didn’t really think much of this until i read the story of their breakup. i beleive there’s pictures too. i guess she was COMPLETLY wasted.

A dazed and disheveled Barrymore wanders the streets of Los Angeles LOL

Drew has also made some unfortunate fashion choices, as seen below when she went braless on The MTV Awards

Somewhere Carrie Underwood is Laughing... Hard

Carrie: Class, Style, dignity AND talent

Jessica: A filthy, inbred, unwashed no-talent

After slutty drunk Jessica stole Carrie's boyfriend, Tony Romo, Jessica decided to try country singing since she's tried every other thing her big fat dad can think of

to be "a star." Ha! Ha! No one wants to see this bitch do anything.

If a bunch of drunken rednecks don't like you, (even when you bust out your only asset, your daisy dukes), shouldn't you just go home and stay there? Not the annoying, dirty haired Jessica Simpson, who was booed by the country lovin' crowd after she stated that she would "make country music for the rest of her life, because that's what she was born to do." LOL! Kenosha News reports:

Skepticism was elevated hours before Jessica Simpson's debut country performance, opening for Sara Evans, Saturday night at Country Thunder. With only one country single released, fans doubted if the pop diva could stack up against other country music acts. "Just because she's dating Tony Romo it doesn't make her country," said Mike Rodriguez, 31, from Lake Geneva. "She doesn't fit in with country, and I'll have to drink a lot of beer to sit through her concert." Zach Schlodt, 19, of Palatine, Ill., agreed.", Simpson's heart isn't in country music, and she is just banking on the genre's current popularity, he said. "She's an embarrassment to herself and country music," he added

...One man summed her performance up in a single word. "It's crap," said Ryan Sia, 28, from East Troy. "She doesn't belong here."

Homos in Love

With his clumsy robot beard Katie following as far behind as possible (while he still drags her along) Tom enjoys a day at the motorcycle races with his even tinier friend and one true love, Scientology leader David Miscavige. UGH. UGH. UGH.

The lovers keep their bitchy, manly beard nearby so as to conceal the intensity and power of their tiny man love

Carrot Top in All His Steroided, Carroty Glory

Amy Winehouse's Husband Sentenced

Sorry to do this to you right after Carrot Top, but Amy's sexy husband Blake was sentenced to 27 months in jail today as a result of his attack on London bar owner James King, who now has a face full of metal plates. MTV UK reports:

Fielder-Civil admitted to being high on cocaine and alcohol when he and his friend Michael Brown attacked pub manager James King outside the Macbeth pub in a barroom fight in June 2007. They then offered King $400,000 to keep quiet about it.

Quote of the Day

Bleary eyed wino Billy Joel disses The Olive Garden. Loser.

Q: What are some warning signs that an Italian restaurant is no good?

A: "Well, a bad sign is glop. Too much cheese. Too much garlic. Like the Olive Garden. I’m sorry. I know they’re trying to bring an Italian cuisine to America, but it sucks".

I'm sorry, "Billy", but you suck.

Britney Wanted a Girl, Oh BOO HOO

Britney was seen crying at the airport after seeing Jamie Lynn's hillbilly spawn Maddie, who is the "spittin' image" of her hideous white trash pop, Casey. UGH. . According to Showbiz Spy, Brit's dad found Britney sobbing naked in her bathroom, as she blubbered how she had always wanted a little girl. Her dad then called Britney's shrink to increase her medication. Maybe she should have loved and taken care of the babies she HAD, the selfish little bitch.

A source says Britney was “a bit dazed and distant”, wouldn’t answer any of her dad’s questions and “had no enthusiasm for anything”. And on June 21, at around 9.30pm, Jamie found his daughter naked on the bathroom floor, crying hysterically and mumbling to herself about wanting a baby girl. Jamie rang the doctor, who rushed to Britney’s side and diagnosed a breakdown.

Below, Brit seen crying at the airport while wearing a really flattering outfit and her cool Ugg boots

A source says, “Seeing her little sister give birth was too much for Britney. It made her realize what a mess she’s in. She’s insanely jealous of Jamie Lynn having a girl because she’s always been desperate for a daughter. Jamie found her sobbing her heart out and repeating: ‘It’s not fair, Dad, it’s not fair.’ He sat with her, cuddled her and stroked her hair. Then he got her some clothes and helped her into the bedroom before calling the doctor, who ordered her to rest. They bumped up her Melleril and Ativan because of the drama she was creating.”

Loser Jessica Simpson "Enjoying" Being Single

Ha1 Ha! The bitch thought she would get anyone if she dumped Nick, and instead has been dumped by a big headed fug, John Mayer, and is dating a gay man that wants to dump her but her dad keeps bribing/threatening him to stay with her. The bloated alcoholic no-talent slut is throwing a tantrum. LOL!

Patrick Swayze Putting on Weight

After undergoing experimental cyberknife surgery for his pancreatic cancer, 55 year old Patrick Swayze said:
"I'm cookin'.. I'm a miracle, dude. I don't know why." (when photographers asked him how he was doing)

Halle Doesn't Pimp Out Her Daughter

Halle Berry won't sell photos of her baby daughter, Nahla, and good for her. Here is the first glimpse of her baby, along with Halle's mom, Judith, in Los Angeles on Saturday.


Halle looks amazing as always

Shocking: Amy Parties All Night, Still Looks and Acts Like a Freak

Filthy crackhead Amy went out last night, grabbed her tongue and her own boob, then stole some flowers

Tom & Kate Show Off Their Gigantic Heads

Tom and KATE have very high opinions of themselves, but sadly, the whole world laughs at them. The unattractive pair attended a motorcycle race dressed in motorcycle jackets to appear cool, but their heads have outgrown their bodies.

She has herpes on her lips as usual and they both look like they're smelling something. UGH

Earlier in the day, ugly Katie went shopping with her only friends, Suri and her mom

Suri is a brat and had a big load in her sagging diaper

Everyone Knows Tom Cruise is a Loser Except Him

Tom Cruise doesn't get that everyone knows he's a freak, and we don't care about his movies. He demanded 20 million for Edwin A. Salt and producers laughed and then hired an unknown for the role. Fox News reports:
It looks like there’s a snag in Tom Cruise’s big career comeback film. According to sources, Cruise is probably not going to be playing the role of Edwin A. Salt, a fictional CIA officer who is outed as a spy.

“Edwin A. Salt,” which is set at Columbia Pictures, has had a rocky road. First Terry George was set to direct. He left and was replaced by Philip Noyce.

But now Cruise is out, and I’m told it’s because of money. Apparently, Tom is unaware of the change in his status in the Hollywood community. Where once he was the top-paid star, Cruise now is in a position where a $20 million salary is not possible. I’m told an internal memo went around among the film’s producers and top creators in which the Cruise situation was discussed and names were gathered for a replacement.

The reasons for Cruise’s departure are not just his diminished popularity, negative public opinion and Scientology — although those would be good enough. It’s also just generational. Cruise is 45. His heyday as a box office star — if he ever had one — is over.

Meantime, Cruise remains at the center of the mystery concerning his kids Isabella and Connor’s continued absence from their mother, Nicole Kidman. The kids, I’m told, still have not visited Kidman in Tennessee nor met their new half-sister, Sunday Rose. This kind of thing, Cruise doesn’t seem to comprehend, only adds to his career predicament.

Jen's Pain, Part 377

John Mayer says his "relationship" with scraggly, blubbering Jennifer Aniston is VAGUE. He cheats on her! Ha! Ha!!!! In Touch Magazine says:


Sadly, Jennifer Aniston may be setting herself up for another heartbreak.

Just two days before she flew to Amsterdam to meet John Mayer, who has a head WAY too big for his body ,the 30-year-old rock star was in a coffeehouse in the Dutch city, trying to convince a pretty tourist to have dinner — or after-dinner drinks — with him. On June 20, John approached Chaton Anderson, a writer from Manhattan Beach, Calif., and sat beside her at her table. “I think he thought I was from Amsterdam, because he said, ‘I am John and I am a singer,’ ” Chaton tells In Touch exclusively. “I laughed because I knew who he was.” Chaton, 32, also was aware that he has been dating Jen. “I asked him what his relationship status was,” she explains. “He said, ‘It’s vague.’ I asked him what that meant and he said, ‘You know, it’s very vague.’ I just laughed. I never mentioned Jennifer and neither did he.” Chaton gave John the number of her prepaid cell phone — but the phone was later stolen. “I’ll never know if he called or not,” she says. What she did say is that John was acting very much like a single man. “I never would have guessed he had a girlfriend at all,” Chaton adds.

Paris Hilton Is a Man

UGH

Linda Hogan, 49, her make-up resembling a clown/corpse, with her "boy toy" Charlie Hill, 19... a love that will last forever...

Another Bomb

Manly, brainwashed Katie Holmes is making another horrible movie that no one will see. She can't act and dresses like a 73 year old woman

She has gigantic bunions that look very up to the minute in her dainty gladiator sandals. UGH

Andy Dick Arrested Again

Andy Dick was arrested in Georgia for sexual battery of a 17 year old girl. Wait... a girl??

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of "an intoxicated male" urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement. When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, "grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts," the statement said. Friends escorted Dick to a truck, which officers stopped at a nearby Sam's Club, police said. Dick was identified by the teenager and a witness, police said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared "extremely intoxicated," police said. Dick, 42, was booked at Southwest Detention Center in French Valley on suspicion of felony possession of a controlled substance, misdemeanor sexual battery and misdemeanor possession of marijuana."
andy in happier times

Quote of the Day

"There are worse things I could do.....Than to smoke a crack rock or two..." Amy Winehouse

Nicole Kidman TEN DAYS After Giving Birth

Poor obese Nicole struggles to her feet, barely able to walk under the strain of her post baby weight

Sam and Lindsay: Uglier and More Strung Out Than Ever

The healthy lesbo's enjoy a rare night out on the town after indulging in a restful nap

With impeccable fashion sense and charisma to spare, the drug-free lovers show off some really cool, brand new hand gestures

The wacky health nuts posed for hours, waving their love like a rainbow flag as they shared their love with the crowd of appreciative onlookers

And in a poignant gesture of meaningful adoration, Lindsay donned one of her man's trademark hats

In other Lindsay news, her brother Michael wets his pants and then dines with their crack whore Mother

No Sympathy. Good.

Britney Spears "agreed" yesterday to give up the fight for custody of her two sons after a legal battle lasting a year and a half.

Kevin Federline, the selfish psycho's former husband, will have sole legal and physical custody of Sean Preston, two, and Jayden James, 18 months, his lawyer said.

The couple have agreed that the troubled hilbilly , 26, will have visitation rights that will allow her to see the boys.

She'll now pay Federline $20,000 a month in child support, an increase from $15,000, according to reports.

Desperate, Warty, Dumpy Rumer "Shows off" Her Saggy Boobs

Uglier and more repulsive with each passing day, Rumer Willis is clearly under the side splitting illusion that she is "sexy"

So corny, with her gigantic plastic shoes and her flared nostrils, Rumer stops to "TREAT" her FANS to a variety of hideous poses

Imagine having saggy ol boobs at the age of 18...Cool! NICE. WARTS.
She's even be extra ugly if she were a man!

Barry Manilow is Skinny and Ugly