Nice Nostril.

As if Rumer isn't hideous enough, (Jay Leno in drag) but what's going on with her nostril! Is it "packed in" nose hairs? Is it fig newton filling?

Sickest Quote Ever

"I have a lot of businesses I run. Everything is so successful so it feels really great and I’d rather be working than doing anything else."

Why do We Hate Jennifer Aniston?

Why do we hate Jennifer Aniston? Even her own husband "despised" her shortly after they were married! Before I go on, I just want to say that I also hate the boring, scowling, anorexic goth heroin bitch Angelina Jolie.

According to actor Omid Djalili, he met Brad on the set of 'Spy Game' in 2000, and gave the actor marriage advice after Brad admitted he wasn't happy with Jennifer.The British comic star revealed to Britain's Daily Express newspaper: "I did a scene with Brad in the back of a taxi and it was only a few days after he had married Jennifer. I chatted to him for hours giving him advice about the three stages of marriage.

"Stage one is perfection - blind love. Stage two is the difficult stage because you start to despise everything about her. If you can deal with the baggage you can possibly get to stage three - a harmonious marriage.
"After six weeks Brad came up to me and said, 'I'm definitely in stage two Omid!"

Desperate to be seen as "sexy," she posed like this without being asked to remove her top

The "it's all about me" whiny bitch didn't want a baby with Brad Pitt because she wanted to focus on her "career". UM... BAD NEWS, JEN. I don't know if anyone has told you this yet, but Friends was pretty much it for you. Your string of crappy movies, where your greek nose doesn't exactly translate well to the big screen, won't make anyone forget that you got paid $1,000,000 an episode for one of the worst shows on television.

Aniston is a great FRIEND:

Jennifer, who was then working at a burger joint, was obsessed with her looks, and would give herself bikini waxes while lying upside-down on the couch. All she did was go on auditions, on diets, and to aerobics classes . Jen tried to be 'more f—able' on auditions, and bought chicken cutlets at the Food Emporium to stuff her bra. Jen also iced her nipples before auditions, and whined about her big butt and her nose, which she said 'came from her Greek half.'

"Jennifer moved to Los Angeles, got liposuction, a nose job and a hairline adjustment, and lost a lot of weight after going on Nutri­Slim. Jen's best friend of many years recounted a trip to L.A. where she asked to stay with her old friend, but instead Jen named some hotels, and warned her friend not to be so desperate, because it's unattractive, especially in a town like L.A."

Of course Aniston has had her nose done. More than once. Some say as many as five times. And lots of other stuff.

"After Jennifer landed a sitcom about friends who live together in the Village, Jennifer's best friend independently met with the show's producers for a recurring role, which she landed on the spot. She was so excited to tell Jennifer! A few hours later, she was inexplicably fired, yet paid in full, plus an extra week's pay, despite never filming a scene. Later a producer friend told her that it was Jennifer who had her fired and the two old friends never spoke again."

Stupid things Jennifer Has Said:
"If somebody ever wished to be me for a day, they'd be the most pissed-off person once they got here. They would be, like, in hell. " POOR thing
"I think I'm sexy. But if you try and be sexy, you'll never be sexy. "(Glad you think so)
"You know when I feel beautiful? (Didn't ask)When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'."
"I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am. And I'm funny." (Keep telling yourself that)
I have a great capacity to feel pain." Yeah, WE KNOW

All she talks about is herself. Her career, focusing on her career, her movie career. Someone please tell her she got a break on a hit show by accident, and that was the end of her career. She's constantly looking for approval, clingy, needy, whiny and insecure. UGH.

Jennifer Aniston said she's not interested in contributing to important causes like her ex-husband and his gorgeous fertile girlfriend. She doesn't care to be criticized for bringing media attention to the world's impoverished, and would rather get mocked for her lack of acting ability and poor personality:

Aniston was sitting at a press conference in Los Angeles to promote her new comedy, The Break-Up, when a reporter asked if she was interested in using her celebrity to tackle any of the world's important issues.

Pitt and Jolie, in between giving birth to daughter Shiloh Nouvel, have been vocal about Africa, AIDS and refugees.

So, was Aniston interested in any global issues? How about the war in Iraq or global warming?

"No," Aniston replied. "I'm not interested in any of that."
"I like to just focus on me and my tabloid career."

Jennifer Maniston, is reportedly really upset that Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. 38-year-old Aniston desperately wanted to have a baby with Brad Pitt and she's depressed that Angelina gets to do it over and over again.

A source said, “Jennifer is putting on a brave face, but inside she is really upset. She wasn’t prepared for how she’d feel when she saw the pictures of Angelina and her bump. “It took her by surprise because it was further proof of just how much Brad has moved on with his life compared to her.”
“Jennifer is desperate for kids."
OH MY GOD, how many years will go by before Maniston stops feeling desperate!

Her constant need for reassurance every few minutes is well documented, and this is why she has one friend, the long suffering Courtney Cox. Her feelings that she is ugly go way back, and she is obsessed with having the perfect everything, which is why all the plastic surgeries, which have done little to improve her appearance.

While Jennifer Aniston was married to Brad Pitt, and ONLY while she was married to Brad Pitt, Jennifer would get her ween waxed constantly. Dawn Daluise who used to do the deed for Jennifer has recently said that Jennifer was obsessed with removing any trace of hair down there. She would come in and have peach fuzz removed and also have the waxing done when there was no hair to wax. If Jennifer ever saw a stray hair she would take tweezers and pull it out. Jennifer would come into get it waxed multiple times in a week.

Jennifer would spend time each day with a mirror and tweezers looking for any offenders.

Her feud with her mother (over her mother talking about where she had her hair done) has gone on since 1996. Reportedly, this was one of the main reasons that Brad Pitt was said to hate Jen after only six weeks of marriage, her refusal to get over it and move on.

She went on Oprah and tried to get pity, after she tried to get sympathy in her Vanity Fair interview:

Jolie's best friend has said that Jolie was furious about Jennifer's pity party on Oprah, and she used her appearance on Oprah last year to turn the public against her and Brad Pitt. Jolie's best friend, Tonya Hart, is quoted saying the actress was pissed by Aniston's actions, claiming she was "milking" her split with Pitt.

Tonya claims Jolie said: "Oh my God, it makes me want to throw up! She shot her mouth off and Oprah took it all in. The audience took it all in. They were all against Brad and me from that moment on. She wanted people to feel sorry for her that her marriage was down the pan. Brad and I couldn't defend ourselves.: Tonya adds: "Ange told Oprah she was extremely upset with her and wanted nothing to do with the show, even though Oprah reportedly said, 'Don't bear a grudge against me."

The bitch is ungrateful to the industry that made someone as ugly as her become an obscenely well paid star, and she hates rabbits! She complains about the rabbits in the yard of her seven million dollar mansion. She said:

"Those f**king rabbits. They were cute at first...and now there are 500 of them and you walk out onto the grass and it's just crunch, crunch, crunch."
"There's rabbit s**t everywhere. Those bunnies are the bane of my existence."
The bitch hates TV, it's beneath her. She said:

"What happened to a great half-hour sitcom?" "It's all 'Dancing with the Stars,' 'Knitting with the Stars,' 'Building a Home with the Stars,' 'Living in the Homes of Stars'."
"It's just bizarre. I don't watch TV anymore," confessed Aniston. "Nothing. I have no interest in that idol sh*t."

She never, I mean NEVER, will stop talking about HER PAIN. No matter what interview or how many years go by, she will find a way to let you know about her pain.

Aniston now says that she's feeling better and is recovering from the crippling depression that plagued her after her husband of four and a half years, Brad Pitt, left her for Angelina Jolie:
"I danced more and played more in the last two months than in the last 10 years. One day it's like a switch went off - and all of a sudden it was like, 'Men! Everywhere!' The cloud is lifting. I'm starting to see the light and it's good."

She goes on to bitch, predictably, about cheating men, saying "It's men who usually do the cheating." Look how young they were/ time to move ON.

Thanks, Linear Thinking, I hope this helps.

Cynthia and Christine to Marry

Cynthia Nixon of Sex and the City will be making her 4 year relationship with Christine Marinoni official in a wedding ceremony this fall. The 42 year old actress was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006, and recently underwent surgery, followed by two months of radiation. The couple share two children from Cynthia's previous marriage.

Christine is a Danny Bonaduce look-a-like

A New Big Headed Love For Maniston

People Magazine reports that Jennifer Maniston had a late, private lunch with so called musician John Mayer in a Miami restaurant that opened Friday afternoon just for them, and then the couple spent a lengthy dinner together Friday night.

When it came to lunch, "I was happy to accommodate them," says Charles Bell, general manager of Michael's Genuine Food & Drink in the Miami Design District, which opened its doors for the pair early at 3:30 p.m. for the 90-minute meal.

Maniston, in Miami shooting the movie Marley & Me with Owen Wilson, ordered a chopped chicken salad, while Mayer had a Serrano ham sandwich which "Jen ate some of," says Bell. For dessert, they shared a chocolate-and-peanut-butter layered treat.
"Sitting across from each other in a booth, their heads were close together."
I wonder if Maniston is aware of big headed Mayer's sick sexual preferences that involve acts that are "best" committed in hotel rooms with maids refusing to clean up after them? I wonder if she knows about Mayer and Perez Hilton?

In case you missed it:

Ok, gross. Both of them, and their peanut butter layered treat. sickkkkkkkkk!!!!


Are these glasses really necessary? Aren't the bushy stash and uni sufficient statements of rebellion?

Madonna and Lourdes attend a Kaballah meeting, where Madonna is required by Jewish law to hand over a tithe that is worth ten percent of her salary, so how much is that exactly? Does she give like half a mill each time? UGH, freaks.

And, as we know, Madonna loves being Madonna. When asked by Ann Curry if she wishes she were "anonymous," (stupid question), she replied:

"I don’t want to wish I’m not me. I don’t wish I was someone else. My soul has reached its true potential and I did everything that I was put on this earth to do.”

Remembering Tiny Tim

Cojo: Please shut your mouth

Yesterday I was looking at these sickening pictures of Steven Cojocaru, the self proclaimed fashion correspondent from The Insider, (UGH), and wondering who does he remind me of?

Then it hit me! He reminds me of Tiny Tim, the "beloved" (LOL) ukulele player, whom I had the privilege of meeting once as he stood next to me in a grocery store in Des Moines, Iowa. Let's take a moment to remember Tiny... shall we? Poor Tiny.. if only they had had plastic surgery back in the sixties the way they do now, perhaps he could have looked as good as Cojo.
Tiny, in happier times, and deep in thought. Wait! Who does this photo of Tiny remind me of... I know! Skeletor!

Skeletor: A deep thinker, just like Tiny

Tiny was born Herbert Khaury, and I'm sure he was a beautiful baby. By the early '60s, Tiny had gained a cult following around the Greenwich Village music scene, particularly after he began to incorporate bizarre renditions of contemporary songs into his repertoire. He finally settled on the name Tiny Tim after the character in Dickens' A Christmas Carol, because Tiny had worked with alot of midgets. I don't know what that has to do with anything.
Tim's appearance in the film You Are What You Eat led to a booking on the hugely popular comedy series Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. He was an instant sensation; whether or not he was seen as an object of ridicule, no one had ever seen anything like him. He appeared several more times on Laugh-In, and became a frequent guest on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, also performing on the Ed Sullivan and Jackie Gleason variety shows.

His eccentric personality became as well-known as his music: he was obsessed with bodily cleanliness, and his distaste for sex seemed logical when paired with his gentle, asexual demeanor, or, as some would now call it, his obvious gayness.

A hot commodity, Tim signed a record deal with Reprise and issued his debut album, God Bless Tiny Tim, in 1968. (As a small child, I was forced to hear this album, because my mother is a corny freak) His signature rendition of "Tip-Toe Through the Tulips" became a hit, and the LP sold over 200,000 copies.

Tiny with the only beverage he ever drank: Hawaiian Fruit Punch

On December 17 of that year, Tim married his girlfriend, 17-year-old Victoria Budinger (known as Miss Vicki, in typically respectful Tim fashion), on the Johnny Carson show. The couple later had a daughter, Tulip, but mostly lived apart, and divorced after eight years. Following his wedding, Tim continued to perform around the country.

Much like Cojo, Tiny was quite the fashion trend setter

Shockingly, by the early '70s, perhaps due to simple familiarity, (or because people were just sick of his gruesome face and horrible voice,) America's fascination with Tiny Tim had waned. Even after the TV appearances and high-profile gigs dried up, Tim kept plugging away, performing whenever and wherever he could. He recorded steadily for a series of mostly small labels throughout the 70's and 80's.

He remarried in 1984 to 23-year-old Miss Jan. They lived apart most of the time and the marriage lasted until 1994. Tim joined a circus for 36 weeks.

In the late '80s, he moved to Des Moines, IA. In 1986, he died on stage at a ukulele festival. (See photo)
Literally moments after this photo was taken, poor Tiny was dead
and it was the end of an era, and sadly, his beautiful music that had warmed the hearts of so many. He was buried clutching his beloved ukulele, and with a sweet smile on his face
You guys, leave me some comments! You don't even have to sign in. Is there anyone you'd like to see a story about? It's Saturday, and there isn't much going on, so let me know! Also, how do you feel about Tiny? Are you familiar with his "music", and did this story make you want to hear Tiny's music? Perhaps there will be a renewed interest in his albums now!

Gayer With Each Passing Day

His "new look" isn't working. If I should disappear suddenly, it means that the Scientology people have gotten me or that I need a new computer, because I've worn this one out. I just wanted to let you know in case.

Pete's Art Exhibition Must Go On Without Him

An exhibition of Pete Doherty's bloody paintings launched in Paris yesterday, but poor Pete was in jail, and, sadly, couldn't be there.

Pete, 29, missed his shining moment at the Chappe Gallery in the Montmartre district of the French capital because he is currently in jail at Wormwood Scrubs for violating his probation terms.

Pete's painting of Kate Moss

People say what constitutes art is up to the individual and it will certainly be up for discussion whether those in the art world take Doherty's gruesome creations seriously.

The controversial exhibition contains 30 paintings by Doherty, who has been using his own blood to paint with for several years now. No word yet on how much one of his masterpieces will go for!

Pete signed his name with his bloody needle in this one... perhaps his finest work!


I don't really know why, but after Amy went to McDonalds today, she visited a girl's school, maybe because she's seen as a positive role model and they asked her to speak there or something

Trouble in Paradise!

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Okay, I know they seemed like the perfect couple, and deeply in love, but seems Gary Coleman and his wife are headed for divorce! Gary bangs his head against the wall and plays with trains too much. Oh, and they still haven't had sex.

Gary and his new bride Shannon just finished filming a two-episode special of
Divorce Court (airs next week on Thursday and Friday). The description from the show’s website:

Episode 1:

Today on a special two-part session of Divorce Court, 80’s child star Gary Coleman and his new wife Shannon have come to Divorce Court seeking Judge Toler’s advice on their troubled marriage before it’s too late. Gary says he met Shannon on a movie set and was glad to know Shannon did not know who he was when they first met. Shannon proposed a year later after an argument. Gary is in love with Shannon and calls her his star protector. Shannon says she is tired of Gary’s anger issues and blames her for anything that goes wrong and is sick of playing the blame game.

Episode 2:

On the conclusion of a two part session of Divorce Court, both Gary Coleman and his wife Shannon Price agreed to come on Divorce Court because they wanted Judge Toler’s marital advice. Shannon says she is tired of Gary’s outbursts and head banging against the wall episodes. Shannon wants Gary to start going out with her instead of staying indoors playing video games and playing with his train sets. Shannon also says she wants to have kids but Gary is not fond of them. Gary says he does not like going out and would rather spend his tine with his train set. Gary also says he does not want to have kids because he does not like them.

Amy Goes to Mickey D's! WARNING: This Will Make You Hungry!

Right now, before you do anything else, please look, no, stare at Amy's thumbnail.. under it! Hurry!

Amy, who is reportedly worth 20 million, shows off her expensive dental work

With Britney gone, what will we do without our pictures of Amy?