Blender had this revealing look at Keith Richards:INVALUABLE TIP #3: HOW TO CONCLUDE A FISTFIGHT WITH A MINIMUM OF FUSS.
“Go for the knee in the nuts, and then smack his head against something hard — his mate’s head, if there’s two of them. And get a good first punch in. You can’t underestimate the element of surprise.”
HE SMIRKS IN THE FACE OF DEATH.
“I’ve been close enough: car crashes, shoot-outs, strychnine overdoses. That’s where you can see everything, but you can’t move a muscle. It’s like being buried alive. I actually left my body when Anita and I turned over a Mercedes convertible. It bounced three times. I can still describe every rivet on the underside of that car.”
FACT: ONCE, WHILE ONSTAGE IN FRANKFURT, GERMANY, HE SLIPPED ON A FRANKFURTER.
“Even more ridiculously,” he notes, “two days later in Hamburg, I slipped on a hamburger. It’s absolutely true.
He thinks cell phones are dangerous
If you want to call Richards, it’s probably not a good idea to try him on his cell phone. “Can’t stand the things,” he frowns. “I mean, they get hot — what’s that all about? You might as well stick your head in a microwave.”
HE BELIEVES CHEESE TO BE THE FOOD OF SATAN.
“I’m not allergic; I just don’t like it. There’s something about curdled milk that turns me off. Probably something to do with being force-fed milk at school. But then, my dad hated cheese, so it might be in the genes. All other dairy products, we’re fine with: We love the butter, we love the milk and we don’t mind the clotted cream, either!”INVALUABLE TIP #2: HOW TO HIT SOMEONE UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH AN ELECTRIC GUITAR.
“Do it quickly, before they have a chance to respond,” he suggests. “The guitar is perfectly made for it.”
HE HAS COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT HOT BATHS.
He has to be forced to take one; but once he’s in the tub, you’ll never get him out. He loves Johnson's Baby Bath! “The difference in temperature is more than I can take,” he groans. “When I’m in there, I’m thinking, This is sheer luxury. I’ll often shout to the old lady, ‘I’m spoiling myself; I adore it!’ Then the moment I have to get out, it’s such a letdown.”
