Vicky's Two Million Dollar Sex Toy

Well he must really love her. No, wait.. it's so she will leave him alone. David Beckham bought that snotty, spoiled bitch Vicky, (I can't call her Posh or Victoria anymore, let's call her Vicky, because she'd hate that) a platinum vibrator. with a 10 carat diamond encrusted, (that word! gross, I'll bet that's not all it's enCRUSTED with) base.

It is one of only ten in the world, and is linked to a 16 carat diamond necklace. To get yours, contact London strip club owner Peter Stringfellow. Mick Jagger has his on order! You'll only need 1.8 million dollars.

A face only a well trained gay man could love

The couple visited Hollywood's notorious Pleasure Chest adult store where they purchased massage oil, personal lubricant, a Cyberskin vibrator, a leather braided cane and a padded black collar and restraint. So, clearly the two million dollar vibrator wasn't good enough, she needed a cyberskin vibrator. UGH.

Big Night Out

The "stars" were at The Costume Institute Gala Event at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on Tuesday night.. J.Lo.. still not over herself



A pigeon toed George Clooney and Julia Roberts



WHAT A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't make eye contact!!

This retarded "If I don't smile I look really cool " thing is getting SO OLD, but Fergie is ugly anyway

Scary Kate is such a troll!!

Christina Ricci

Old bitch Posh

Tom actually looks good

Ugly Posh Has Another Party, Never Smiles

Where did Victoria Beckham EVER get the idea in her head that she was royalty? She has a pig nose,

she's a horrible bitch, she was a SPICE GIRL, which was NEVER even remotely cool, and she has acne. So why does anyone allow her to go around acting like she's cool for any reason? She's such a nasty bitch that she doesn't even tip!



"Posh has" thrown about 16 birthday parties for HERSELF in the past few weeks. The stars were out in full force to come to her bash at Via Venito last night. All celebs were instructed beforehand not to smile when arriving, as this would make them appear cooler.

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Nice boobs! Are they real?


The picture of marital bliss arrive, careful not to smile

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They don't want to be seen as having a good time. How undignified... the horror!

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Jada Pinkett Smith doesn't need to remind herself not to smile, she's an angry lesbian, and hasn't smiled for almost eight years


Will, who is used to smiling real big so that he will appear happy with Jada, almost forgets, then catches himself at the last second


Gwen Stefani is always smiling, but Gavin tells her sternly: "Remember the rules. We must not smile. Think funeral."

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P. Diddy Daddy Puffy Doodle follows no ones rules. He said "I'll smile if I damn well want to."

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Victoria, back when she used to smile, and maybe it's best that she doesn't

Katie and Posh: Catfight!

Katie didn't go to Victoria's 34th birthday celebration last week and now I hear they acted as if they didn't know each other when they unexpectedly met at The Polo Lounge in LA.

Last month Katie and Victoria were in the middle of a bitter catfight over Vogue and tatoos

Katie thought she deserved to be on the cover of Vogue more. Like she deserves anything. For what? Marrying some small gay man?

Yes, Victoria had a lovely Vogue cover. But who was the model? It sure as hell wasn't her.

If they had used her real face, I' afraid it would have looked like this:

and, Katie, I'm sure your Vogue cover would have been swell, but I don't think they want someone who looks 50 years old and is always guffawing like a horse

“When Victoria advised her to get some tattoos like hers,

Katie hit the roof, saying,

‘Tattoos are trashy. I wouldn’t be caught dead with one.”

“Victoria said,

‘How dare she attack my tattoos? I know more about fashion than she’ll ever know.

I have my own line! I’ve told her what to wear and what not to - she used to dress like a schoolgirl. Then she even tried to copy my hair. Now she doesn’t think she needs me.’

Like tatoos are fashionable, you hideous, egg headed bird face freak.

katie dressed like a schoolgirl, much to Posh's horror

Victoria was sick of being asked Scientology questions too.
The pair have gotten into it before, with Posh smashing a boombox over Katie's head, an injury that required her to get 7 stitches
Posh choked Katie once, and that's when Tom said "Enough"

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Victoria's friendship with Katie began to fall apart at the welcome to LA party Tom and Katie threw for the Beckham's in July, says the friend. "Victoria sat in the corner with Eva Longoria all night, giggling behind her hand at Tom's wild dancing," reveals the friend. And over the summer, Victoria started drifting away from Katie, 28. "Posh decided that the Tom and Katie connection is the reason A-list celebs have been snubbing them," adds the pal.

After some soul-searching the Spice Girl put the brakes on their friendship. "Katie suggested to Victoria that they meet up in Paris for Fashion Week," says the friend. "But Victoria kept saying she was busy and eventually stopped answering her e-mails."

Katie "started to wonder is she had used her and Tom to climb the social ladder in LA. Katie doesn't get it that they are the only ones on her imagined social ladder.

Katie needs to get over herself. She was on Dawson's Creek, a corny teen show, then she was LAST ON TOM'S WISH LIST for a possible bride that he could control. NO ONE IS IMPRESSED WITH HER "Credentials." As for Posh?! A SPICE GIRL who married a GAY soccer player. Whoaaa... that's really COOL!

As soon as they'd served their purpose, Victoria wasn't interested in being friends anymore." Katie's hurt and disappointed, but not surprised. "She's gotten used to people snubbing her," the friend explains.

"It upsets her that people don't understand why she agreed to be paid to be Tom's beard."

What a Diff Five Years Makes

Talk about "letting yourself go"

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Beckham's Brat

Cruz Beckham, three years old. Nice.

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Katie and Posh: Their Dangerous Habit!

Tom has forbidden Katie from seeing her only friend Posh Spice, as she is becoming way too thin. Look at them! Two sour old spinsters who married gays for their money. How can they think they're cool?

"Katie is shrinking because she is following Victoria's strict 900-calories-a-day eating plan. She is copying Victoria's fad of eating seaweed shakes, frozen grapes and edamame beans. She is always weak with hunger, and often, too hungry to even speak." She is on the verge of collapsing, or worse. Hahahahah!!!!!!!!! What's worse than collapsing?

According to Life and Style, they have a dangerous habit of sharing a low calorie meal meant for one person.

I shared a Stouffer's barbecue chicken and augratin potatoes with my daughter once. Is that the same thing?

The magazine reports that during a recent outing to Madeo, the pin thin duo shared a green salad without dressing, one piece of fish and one side of steamed spinach. They also ordered one regular Coke and two glasses of ice. Oh stop! That's making me so hungry.

“Katie poured half the soda into each of their glasses, then filled up the rest with bottled water,” a Madeo regular told the magazine. The best part is that these self- centered ugly bitches are rude to staff and never ever tip even one cent. Since they work so hard for their money, you know.

Posh was grocery shopping at Whole Foods Market today. (See above) She's too cool to put stuff in a cart, she brings a bodyguard and points at the items she wants, then leaves the store before him. She's SO COOL.

Alicia Won't Work With Britney

Alicia Silverstone was all set to be on the show "How I Met Your Mother", but when she found out Britney would be on the same episode, she pulled out.Now here's the best part. Alicia was supposed to play a DERMATOLOGIST, and Britney was to be her assistant.

Now, producers hope to land Posh Spice in the role Alicia was supposed to play

Posh is Stocked for Thanksgiving

When Posh Spice (nice name) agreed to show Rachel Ray what was in her fridge for Thanksgiving, I was on the edge of my seat. Like this pig face would eat or cook even a morsel of food. She has three kids too, sick. Like that's all she's going to have.