Vicky's Two Million Dollar Sex Toy

Well he must really love her. No, wait.. it's so she will leave him alone. David Beckham bought that snotty, spoiled bitch Vicky, (I can't call her Posh or Victoria anymore, let's call her Vicky, because she'd hate that) a platinum vibrator. with a 10 carat diamond encrusted, (that word! gross, I'll bet that's not all it's enCRUSTED with) base.

It is one of only ten in the world, and is linked to a 16 carat diamond necklace. To get yours, contact London strip club owner Peter Stringfellow. Mick Jagger has his on order! You'll only need 1.8 million dollars.

A face only a well trained gay man could love

The couple visited Hollywood's notorious Pleasure Chest adult store where they purchased massage oil, personal lubricant, a Cyberskin vibrator, a leather braided cane and a padded black collar and restraint. So, clearly the two million dollar vibrator wasn't good enough, she needed a cyberskin vibrator. UGH.