"Half of your face has red make-up, the other half green, and your hair is barely combed. How you gonna let people see you like that? Someone is pimping Lauryn right now. A true friend would say, ‘You have to check yourself into a psychiatrist.“
Wyclef, talking about old friend and band mate, Lauren Hill
Mariah Carey, seen here walking her 4 dogs in NYC, will fill in for Janet Jackson on Saturday Night Live tonight, while Janet recovers from lipo I mean the flu.
Benji Madden's ex, Sophie Monk. Pretty much the same as Paris, except normal size feet, two normal eyes, no hook nose or herpes. Meanwhile, Benji is telling friends that Paris is THE ONE. Don't get too comfy, Benji. She's the one who will give you herpes, wear you out with her ridiculous demands, and cheat on you before you can spit and holler howdy.
From poor, pitiful Brooke's myspace blog :
“I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friend’s famous father . . . I think we’re all seeing just exactly how karma works Christiane. Nothing you say will ever put my family back together.”
Brookie? Your family is a joke. Your brother is a killer who your parents try to cover for, you are a man with no talent, and your mom looks like a cross between a corpse and a clown. Your "best friend" is a 33 year old woman who became your friend to get close to Hulk, your famous father, who didn't want to wake up next to someone who looks embalmed anymore, and spend his days watching her waddle around and blow through his money. No one feels sorry for anyone in your family except for your dad. Go layer your big, manly, out of proportion body with a bunch of fake tanner and glitter and make another really cool music video to promote "your career," and then GO AWAY.
Linda Hogan rushes home to try to put her family back together
Paris not only has gigantic manhands and huge, clumsy bony feet, she is pigeon toed too.
Kirstie said she will “develop and pilot my own weight-loss brand that I hope to launch in 2009.”“I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride.”
Supermodel Kimora Lee Simmons recently told People magazine that she’s in the tabloids every week!
"I’m in the paper every single week – that I had a fight with my ex-husband, or that I was mad at one of his girlfriends, or that I’m pregnant, or that I demand Fiji water,” she said Friday at Washington University in St. Louis. “Lies upon lies upon lies.”
Now what paper is this? It must be the one that you publish yourself about your fabulosity because I've never seen even a mention of you in anything. In fact, you're not even on the lame list of stars homes that tourists can drive by, and that made you really mad, remember?
If you want to make fun of Lisa Marie Presley, there are so many better reasons than because she's fat. She's forty years old and pregnant with twins, and 5'2" tall. Now that that is out of the way, how about her make-up?
Then there's Paige Dorian, "her assistant and friend of eight years," also a Scientologist. And Luke Watson, another Scientologist, who is "documenting her recent life on film."
Watson was reportedly once assigned to "look after Presley" by Scientology. (code for: GET HER MONEY)
Dorian and Watson accompanied her for dinner with the Rolling Stone reporter. She explained "They live my life with me." (AHHHHH!!!! The "minders!")
Like Kirstie Alley, Presley claims to have overcome drugs because of Scientology. She says, "I did drugs for four years."
Twenty days after ending her first marriage with Keough she married Michael Jackson in the Dominican Republic. Her first husband's brother and wife, both Scientologists, witnessed that wedding.
The Jackson/Presley union ended after 20 months. And the lawyer that tied up the loose ends was John Coale, another Scientologist.
It was rumored that the Jackson marriage was a sham, concocted by the "King of Pop" and Scientology to neutralize an ugly sex scandal.
The Jackson marriage ended because Michael Jackson made it clear that he would not be involved with the controversial church.
Her third husband , Nicholas Cage, wanted nothing to do with Scientology.
Or, you could make fun of her because of how she dresses, and what her husband looks like:
or you could make fun of her mom's gloves:
and how ridiculously she poses:
and, that she used to dress alike with her mom:
But it's dumb to call her fat, (like I sort of did, okay, I did) because she's really been pretty her whole life
It was fun, though. Sick, huh. (To call her fat names I mean) Because she is so pretty...
At least she used to be
Heidi Montag had an opportunity to talk to Us Weekly about the new "fashion line for fugs" she’s designing, but chose to use the time instead to hate on Lauren Conrad.
“Lauren’s line is not necessarily something I would wear,” she says.
NO ONE ASKED YOU TO. NO ONE ASKED IF YOU WOULD.
Flirty Heidi strikes a pose
“She’s trying a high-fashion thing, but it’s a little overpriced. Mine is fun and flirty for the everyday woman. Most people can’t afford $200 for one dress … When we were in school, I was the designer, and she was in, like, product development.”
WHEN you were in school?
Heidi, you were in school and took Fashion Merchandising for two long weeks! You didn’t even make it through one semester before you quit to answer phones for Brent Bolthouse, and you were almost fired from that on your third day. You are the ugliest, most desperate whore ever. No everyday woman wants anything to do with the stupid shit you come up with. Go back to that hellhole town in the Colorado wilderness with your emo dad and shut the hell up. LIKE YOU'RE A DESIGNER!!!! Give me a f**king break! OMG YOU ARE UGLY.
Why do all these hicks have three names? I guess we better call Britney "Britney jean" from now on. UGH. It's so annoying. Jamie Lynn Spears will settle down with her new baby in Kentwood, and even though Auntie Brit couldn't care less about her own kids, the sky is the limit for her new nephew.Jamie Lynn's son's nursery is being designed by Petit Tresor (the same company that did J. Ho's three nurseries) (THREE for 2 mutants, so that one would always be "fresh smelling) and has an ocean theme. Britney is picking up the tab, and despite her weekly allowance of $1,500, the source said, “So far she’s spent more than $30,000 on it — she’s sparing no expense for her nephew.”
Jamie Lynn picked the “Round Crib at Sea” at $1,150
the “Bliss Nursery Dresser @$995
as well as organic bedding and baby blankets that are being made by Robbie Adrian, a steal at only $93 each.
Britney did have one special request that seems strangely symbolic: an elephant in the room. According to the source, Britney ordered a custom-made, six-foot-tall elephant with a blue bow. Now THAT'S CLASS. Leave it to a Spears to go to Petit Tresor http://www.petittresor.com/ and be able to pick out the tackiest, most boring baby stuff there is FOR A PLACE LIKE THAT. Everything else there is so beautiful it makes you want 25 kids. Because after all, buying cool stuff for them (that's REALLY FOR YOU, right J.Ho?) is all that matters.
“Lindsay has had a reality check; she’s not getting offers like she used to. She has this sense of entitlement, but her short lived stardom was a long time go. She’s definitely thinking she needs a big blockbuster just so she can go back to living comfortably,” said one source in the film industry.
So what happened to Lindsay’s Disney cash? She spent it on drugs, rehab stints and tanning appointments.
The magazine concludes that Lohan has paid more than $315,000 on rehab stays and more than $1 million on hotels (in particular, they point to the $2,700/night suite at the Chateau Marmot where Lohan lived for a time). The magazine says that she spent a mind-boggling $70,000 alone on her fake tanner.
Luckily for Lindsay, she has a great mind for business that will surely put her back on top, and that is the brand new idea of making some LEGGINGS.
“It's a secret!" she told the world, but it will be a while before they come out, but I’m going to do it. Some of them will have prints and some will have patterns. I love leggings.”
Yeah, we noticed.
There was the burrito incident and she just threw a huge tantrum in Paris when she refused to walk the red carpet because Paris Hilton was on it. The picture is from that event, and as you can see, with the splattered acne all over her face, she's lucky she got to attend at all.
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