Jessica Simpson is Still Trying To Have a Career

Jessica Simpson is headlining the Operation MySpace concert in Kuwait Monday, but she definitely isn't worth what it will cost just to get the dumb bitch back and forth, let alone her other stupid expenses.

A private plane carrying Simpson and her entourage — which includes dad Joe, hairstylist Ken Paves, her personal assistant and a stylist — left L.A. and was due in Kuwait the evening of March 9. Total cost for the plane was approximately $150,000.

Someone will be picking up the tab for accommodations as well, even though Papa Joe has been telling everyone that Jessica will be staying in a bunk just like the troops. No fancy hotel suites for his baby girl! UGH, as if. The truth is, any time spent in a bunk will last no longer than the time it takes for a photo.

“Jessica doesn’t sleep in tents or bunks the night before a concert. She needs to be able to warble out the national anthem like a 96 year old woman, and that requires extra rest! She needs to give a good performance — there’s no way Joe will want The Pussycat Dolls (who are also performing as part of the same show) to upstage his daughter. Jessica could be upstaged by a organ grinder act with a dancing monkey. The troops aren't even that excited to see her and no one wants to hear her sing. If she were going to be naked, they would be happier to see her, but Papa Joe says she is for his eyes only. He’ll have her sleeping in a proper bed. (HIS)

Other expenses include her stylist and makeup artist (who both charge approximately $6,000 per day), and her hair stylist Paves, whose day rate is a whopping $10,000. So wait.. $22,000. a DAY to look like Jessica Simpson? All she needs are some velcro curlers from Walmart ($12), some of her tacky jeans and an army parka, ($150) and a good layer of Cover Girl ($6). What a ridiculous waste of space she is.

The true plan is, she'll come out and "seizure her way through" The National Anthem, making unnecessary and stomach-churning facial expressions. (Iwitnessed this by accident) Then she will sing "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" and pretend she's sexy. Then she'll be spending three hours of quality time with "the troops," I'm not saying anything here. Then she's leaving on a jet plane and not just any plane, a private one.

“She doesn’t even talk to her fans on MySpace. She has no album to promote, and she will definitely be "upstaged" by The Pussycat Dolls. She would be upstaged by Carrot Top.

Joe Simpson will be taking the photos himself, like he did with Jessica’s last Operation Smile trip, and will be shopping an exclusive to the weekly mags for publication this week. No thanks. God, go away, run off to some far away land with Dina Lohan, and don't forget to take Ali and Ashlee please. Jessica? Close your mouth. Who told you that you should open your mouth when you're posing for a picture? Do you think it makes us believe that you are having the time of your life? But then, Papa Joe is taking the pictures. ("Open your big mouth, princess!")