Lindsay Will Bust a Cap in You

Britney Changes up Her Look

Christina Aguilera Shopping For Baby Clothes

Is This Completely Necessary?

Donnie and Marie Osmond were boring and corny back in 1973, so why would ANYONE allow them do a reunion special on TV? It is just PBS, and no one watches that anyway, but I'm just wondering who would care.

Britney Spears Barbie Doll

The Amy Winehouse Barbie Doll

Lindsay Parties in Utah Rehab With Friends

Guess The Real Fat Singer

Dirty Magicians Suck on Morphine Pops Too!

Who Wore it Best? Fishnets Edition

Britney & Two Ugly Dudes Lead Las Vegas Police on High Speed Chase

Britney Spears and her fake wig lead police in Las Vegas on a high speed chase last night for over a mile before stopping. Her ugly dude passengers were seen flying all over the car before she finally pulled into a gas station and claimed the paparazzi were chasing her. Yawn. She was let go, with a stern warning to stop wearing wigs.

"Off Da Chain" Hot Mess of the Day


Technorati Profile

Get Me a Kleenex

Lindsay Lohan is desperate to revive her singing career. A music insider said, "She needs to clean herself up. Nobody wants her right now." "She's in some kind of pain that doesn't stop," a Fox News source source said. "She's done drugs with all kinds of older movie stars, but they can stop when they want. She can't."

I'm Freakin' Scared, Y'ALL!

Frightened by her recent angry fan mail, Britney Spears has enrolled in Krav Maga Classes, which teach Israeli Martial Arts. The strength training classes are designed so that you can learn to be your own bodyguard! She's training very hard, and also has her eye out for a new man.

I am praying that no one harms me, but this fan mail has become freakin' scary!" the bloated beast revealed. I'm freakin' rich, y'all! It's crazy!"


93 Year Old Drug Dealer Leads Police on High Speed Chase

Aug 24, 11:05 PM (ET)

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) - A 93-year-old man was charged with selling large amounts of heroin, opium, and cocaine yesterday, after police were lead on a high speed chase in speeds excess of this dudes age!

Felix Ludlow,the crazed gentleman above ,had never even had a speeding ticket prior to this arrest, told arresting officers, "Sorry for the trouble, but I'm higher than a god damned kite right now." You think? He faces charges of drug trafficking, resisting arrest, and possession of nearly six ounces of pure opium.

His pal, Rudy Cobb, seen here in the blue shirt, 86, was released to his daughter after it was determined that he was only along for a ride to Sams Club, and unaware of Ludlow's drug use.


It Feels Nice

I’m Britney Spears and I’m shaking my ass
I sign a thousand autographs
Please - just get to the point when you talk to me
And if a favor gets involved, just rub my feet
Yea this business is fucked
And I want some fun
I wanna sit at home and watch Dumb and Dumber
Sike- I take that back, I’m just trickin’ you see
Cause when I show my belly everybody copies me
It’s kinda cool, nothin’ but guys
But I’m just Britney Spears and I got all this power
But the bottom line is I don’t even use it
Right when you become a bitch that’s when you lose it
So what if I do? What if I lose it all today?
I’ve always got my friends to hold me all the way
Happiness is the key, and love when you fall
Like Lauren Hill said you ain’t got that - got nothing at all, y’all
So how you been?
It’s been awhile.
But it feels nice
It really feels nice

I just heard the new Britney Spears RAP SONG at PerezHilton and it is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever heard in my life. It gave me full body chills, OH MY GOD. I feel humiliated FOR HER, because you know she doesn't for herself.

Zitney is a Terrierist

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is investigating Britney Spears to find out if her yorkie puppy is getting proper care. Several calls and complaints have been made that the dog needs to be removed from the house. What about her kids! She can't even care for her wigs, let alone a living thing.

P. Diddy Pulls Into Carls Jr. For the Jumbo Burger Basket

He DRIED His Two Year Old

What do you do when your two year old daughter "throws a fit" and doesn't want her hair washed in the bathtub? Well, if you're Bobby Lynn Curtis, 27, of Lumberton, Texas... you throw her into a heated up and running clothes dryer, giving her second degree burns. Then, you call a press conference to say that she was "only in there a few seconds" and that you would never hurt her.Curtis faces 5-99 years in prison.

Hideous Blast From the Past

"It's really hard to maintain a one on one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other women."... the sickening Guns N' Roses front man, Axl Rose. Oh, nice nostrils, by the way.

Britney's Still Looking for Love

Am I the Only One Who is Scared of Maddox?

Why doesn't anyone say anything about the terrifying evil that lurks within Maddox Pitt? This kid is going to go on some kind of a mass rampage one day, brandishing a gigantic machete! Who do you think will be first?

When is Lunch?

The Gossip got the huge crowd dancing today at The Carling Weekend Festival. Their lead singer, Beth Ditto, was wearing a sparkly pink and purple dress and hat combo, and one minute into the set hitched up the dress around her waist to reveal her black underwear and tanned, shapely legs.

Before playing 'Jason's Basement', Ditto sang the lines from Haddaway's 'What Is Love (Baby Don't Hurt Me No More)', changing the lyric to, "When is lunch? Baby I'm hungry".

Later in the set, after playing 'Listen Up', Ditto sang lines from 'Rehab' by Amy Winehouse.

Could it Be?

Blind Items

#1 This drug free celebutante was spotted doing lines of coke last night.

#2 This female, who is a former A list television star and B list film actress had to have her stomach pumped a few months ago because she ate a brownie laced with more than the pot she thought was in it. Turns out some friends of friends brought the special brownies, while she thought she was eating brownies prepared by friends. It happened after all the guests had left, but the hosts were still there. She started freaking out within 10-15 minutes, and then collapsed. A private doctor at the resort was called in and her stomach pumped.

#3 This B list television actress on a network show was told be her doctor recently that anymore plastic surgery would leave her unable to perform many facial expressions. She is holding off until she decides whether being a great actress or looking 10 years younger is better. Well, she isn't that great of an actress, so might as well go for the looks I say.
Source: Crazy Days & Nights

Something Bad ALREADY happened, you Dumb Bitch

E! Online reports speaking to Dina Lohan on the phone today.

“It’s really sad,” Lindsay's mom said when asked how her daughter was doing after being sentenced to jail time. “Something bad is going to happen, I’m afraid.”

When Dina was asked how the family is holding up, she said: “Busy, busy.”

Yesterday when she was asked how her family was she said "My children and I are at a wonderful time in our lives." Really? Because yesterday, your 13 year old daughter Ali..(you know, your other daughter that doesn't have a chance in hell because you're a coked- up attention whore) climbed out of her window to meet up with her 16 year old boyfriend, and ended up getting into a car wreck with him.Whoops! When I was 13, a daring Thursday night for me would have been stealing my brothers banana bike to go get sloppy joes after an episode of The Partridge Family. Your girls sure grow up fast!

Dina is looking forward to Lindsay's release because Lindsay is her main drug source, and without her, Dina's been getting ripped off on the quantity and quality of her crack.

I Never Went to School, Y'All!

"I like to go to lots of overseas places like Canada. I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

She Can't Sing. She Can't Act. But She's Smart!

"I'm not anorexic because I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me." ..Jessica Simpson

Daddy Dearest

Lindsay Lohan's estranged father says she suffers from multiple addictions, including alcohol and the painkiller OxyContin, the Web site E! Online reported Wednesday. Now I hear he's pitching a show that would include himself, Joe Simpson, and Jamie Spears, on a desert island with their daughters. WTF?

Amy Winehouse Leaves Hotel

Amy Winehouse was seen a few hours ago leaving the hotel in Soho, which was the scene of the bloody brawl she had with her husband. She was clutching her wedding photo as she left, and had a new pair of slippers on.
image: Celebutopia

Paris Buys Six Million Dollar Mansion

"I want to be a real estate mogul. I'm not stupid. It made me sad to move, but so many guys knew where I lived, and would just come over. I want to have Paris stores, too. There's so much to do." Paris Hilton
image: realestalker

Nicole Leaves Jail

Nicole Richie leaves jail, hardened after serving her 82 minute sentence.
image: Mavrixonline

Cool Ebay Treasures! Bid Today!

You could own a half eaten pack of Paris Hilton's Smarties with her lipstick kiss on the package! The generous heiress gave them to a fan at the MTV Awards. Bidding begins at $100, with a buy it now price of only $3,000. If you're a Britney collector, her used kleenex that she cried and blew her nose in, has been sealed in a plastic bag since she left it in her hotel room. Bidding starts for this treasure at $300. Better hurry! These items are sure to go fast.

Stars: Just Like You & Me, Only Uglier