Britney enjoys the smug satisfaction in knowing she is the world's 100th sexiest woman
Despite her bulging gut, Britney suddenly feels small as she takes in the beauty that Costa Rica has to offer. This is Mel's private 155 foot beach front, and no one can harm her here. Nearby is Mel's 30 million dollar ranch, but Brit is grateful that there are still plenty of photographers to take her pictures in all of her bloated glory
Lindsay is turning 22 and wants someone to pay for her party. Here is what you get if you are interested in sponsoring her birthday party:
"Sponsors will have a unique branding opportunity to an internationally media worthy event. Lindsay and her 10 closest girlfriends will start the celebration in the early afternoon with spa treatments including manicures, facials and massages.
Upon nightfall an intimate group of 75 VIP guests will gather for dinner, performances and most importantly to help Lindsay blow out the candles on her 22nd Birthday cake."
Wait.. Lindsay has 10 girlfriends? No, really. She has Samantha Ronson, and no one else! Help her blow out candles? UGH, who CARES?? Facials? Yuk, what kind of party is this? Lindsay will perform? Oh, count me in! I can't wait to see who will want to sponsor this lesbo boozefest!! To see the website dedicated to honoring the day of Lindsay's birth, go to:
I like how fat her neck is
Britney is enjoying Costa Rica.( her dad, her ugly assistant, Mel and Mel's wife are all there.)
Brit picks her butt some more
Also in the book:
Marilyn Monroe had an affair with Ronald Reagan
Marilyn had a fling with Joan Crawford, but ended it. Marilyn told Shelley Winters, "She had bad breath. Besides, she wanted to do things to me that no woman should do to another woman."
James Dean showed a disconcerting interest in a 12-year-old boy. Elia Kazan, "I've known many actors who have been twisted up in their sex lives, but never anybody as sick and unhealthy as Dean was."
Elvis Presley got it on with Nick Adams
Lucille Ball was a hooker before she was famous. Desi Arnaz had a fling with Cesar Romero.
Cary Grant had an incestuous relationship with his stepson
Strange things happened to Judy Garland's dead body (this in the chapter on "Fan Worship and Necrophilia").
eyebrow mystery? Solved.
Gwyneth Paltrow was staggering drunk. Perhaps it was the free-flowing refreshments, or it could even have been religious fervour.
Madonna held a fund-raising event for the mystic Jewish religion kabbalah attended by, among others, Stella McCartney, Gwyneth Paltrow and Sting's wife Trudie Styler.They poured out on to the streets at 1am with Gwyneth and Trudie so unsteady on their feet they needed to be held up.They were joined by Madonna's team of fitness experts - who train most of her girlfriends at the gym she had built next to her home in Bayswater, West London. The fund-raising event was held at a private loft-style venue in Soho, where guests were played acoustic kabbalah music.
FUN!!!! Kabbalah music, exercising, sweating, and trying to get money out of you for her stupid causes. UGH. oh Madonna has the best parties!!
Trudie Styler takes a tumble, on her way home
to have tantric sex with Sting for 19 hours.
Heidi Montag is planning to fake a pregnancy this summer so that she will stay "in the news," and people will be "guessing." Guessing what? Who the father is? If it will be a mutant like she is? WHO CARES. GOD. Plus, now that we all know that she loves anal sex (Thanks, Spence!) isn't THAT enough excitement swirling around her to "keep her in the news?"
This summer, Heidi plans to wear loose clothes and even strap on some padding around her waist to make it appear as if she’s about three months along. The plan is to get the baby rumor mill going so she can get photographed more. She and Spencer won’t confirm or deny the pregnancy so they can keep everyone guessing.
heidi is always ready for anal sex
But here's what we do care about: Every time that moron Jessica is dumped, as she always is, I think about her three abortions, one of them with Nick. I think of her sickening dad, and how Jessica thought she was too cool for Nick, the only reason she ever had even a speck of "fame" in the first place. More pics of Lindsey and Tony, then for the really pathetic part
Tony is an ass, you can tell, and he doesn't want Jessica, but he wants someone who looks like her, that's funny too
Okay this is so sick: Papa Joe has been calling Tony non-stop BEGGING him to say he and Jessica aren't broken up, and that he's getting ready to propose to her, and that he NEEDS to be Jessica's DATE at Ashlee's wedding, or it will ruin her ceremony because of the bad press. NOBODY WANTS YOUR DAUGHTER, PAPA J! (except for you)
She's used goods, a drunken, slutty, stupid mess. Nick has to be loving this! Papa Joe wants to pretend that someone wants Jessica, just like he pretends Jessica has a CAREER.
Oh god, here we go. There is a Britney sex tape for sale. Britney, at the height of her insanity made the sex tape with gut wrenching Afghanastanian Adnan Ghalib while they were in Mexico. As if the thought of her having sex isn't enough to repulse you, imagine him having sex. Anyway, he has the tape for sale if you want to buy it.
Brit and Adnan in Mexico, right after they finished making the sex tape
Word is that the video starts with Britney undressing," said the insider. "She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there in Rosarito. The sex wasn't particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout. At one point in the tape Adnan asks the singer to remove the pink bob but she refused. "Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, 'Take what off? There's nothing left to take off.'
Sounds really sexy.
Well he must really love her. No, wait.. it's so she will leave him alone. David Beckham bought that snotty, spoiled bitch Vicky, (I can't call her Posh or Victoria anymore, let's call her Vicky, because she'd hate that) a platinum vibrator. with a 10 carat diamond encrusted, (that word! gross, I'll bet that's not all it's enCRUSTED with) base.
It is one of only ten in the world, and is linked to a 16 carat diamond necklace. To get yours, contact London strip club owner Peter Stringfellow. Mick Jagger has his on order! You'll only need 1.8 million dollars.
A face only a well trained gay man could love
The couple visited Hollywood's notorious Pleasure Chest adult store where they purchased massage oil, personal lubricant, a Cyberskin vibrator, a leather braided cane and a padded black collar and restraint. So, clearly the two million dollar vibrator wasn't good enough, she needed a cyberskin vibrator. UGH.