The Tattlebuzz

Ugly Ashton Kutcher Brags Some More About Nothing

"Modeling is the best because you have to look hot, which comes easy to me, you know. I'm blessed with that." Ashton Kutcher, again, on his "GOOD LOOKS."

Ashton "I have no talent whatsoever" Kutcher agreed to do an interview for Details Magazine, and it was so interesting and revealing! UGH.

Ashton's story is simple. He poses in his underwear, accidentally gets a role on That 70's Show, makes Justin Timberlake cry on TV and then marries a really trashy old woman.

Now, somehow, he's famous and thinks he's cool.

Yet he can't act, sing, and he isn't funny or good looking.

Celebrities and regular people everywhere find him extremely annoying, and every one of his movies has been a BOMB.
Proud Ashton graduates from Cedar Rapids High School

From Details:
His twin brother, Michael, was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

Ashton Kutcher

“I was the kid with the big Coke-bottle glasses, the hearing aid,” says Michael Kutcher, who still lives in Iowa, where he sells retirement plans. “There was a lot of teasing, a lot of the normal mean stuff.”

Ashton adds,

“That was a big part of my life, kind of looking out for my twin.”
(and just how is it that you look after him now, "ASH?" I know for a fact he lives in a trailer park, and has no money even for the medical procedures he needs. Is that how you take care of a bro? A TWIN? That could have just as easily been you, dumbass.)

On feeling trapped in the role of the “dumb handsome guy.”

“I started to get this attitude about being funny, like, are you laughing at me or with me?” (Um, not WITH YOU, because you aren't funny.) Oh, and P.S.? You aren't handsome. Get over yourself. This is the third interview you've done where YOU bring up the pain and burden of how handsome you (think) you are.

He talked about the moment he decided to get serious with Demi,

“I’ve literally just been voted the world’s most eligible bachelor and I’m like, I’m going off the market. I’ve found the one. If I had thought about it I would have been like, Nah, nah. But what can you do? When you’re in that deep, you can’t think. She was the first person who would call me on my s**t. She didn’t need me. She straight up didn’t need me. She wanted me, but she didn’t need me, so she could put it on the line.”
Okay well that made me sick. First, you brag about how you are LITERALLY the most eligible bachelor IN THE WORLD. Oh, really? By who? A panel on TRL? Please. Do yourself a favor and get over yourself. Demi is nobody in Hollywood, she can't act either. She's famous for being naked (all the time, in movies, in whore mags, when pregnant, etc) and being married to Bruce Willis. What did she PUT ON THE LINE? Her deformed daughters? Her wrinkly knock-knees and over botoxed face? Her bitch personality? Or her $600,000 doll collection? Oh, she needs you. She's a tired old hag. Who was talking about her before you came along? She was rotting away in Idaho, having multiple plastic surgeries. Bad news, farm boy. It's the public that "doesn't need you."
Ashton was absolutely furious when his picture was taken at his Saturday Night Live after party. What an ASS. He should be glad that ANYONE wants his picture. Demi was confused and stumbling, as usual, as her Alzheimer's worsens

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Kelly Osbourne's Radio Show is a Hit

Kelly Osbourne has recently been nominated for a prestigious Sony Award for her teen advice show The Surgery on Radio 1 – just months after launching her radio career. Kelly looks completely different without all that make-up, much better.

Kelly started hosting the Sunday afternoon show in October last year.

Beyonce's Mom Is Not Black

Tina has denied she is black! What a loser! She said :
"I'm not black. I was born in Texas, and hail from French and American Indian descent." Because we know that there are no black people born in Texas.

Beyonce's scary mom designed her wedding dress. Bet it was real nice. Know that she also designed this outfit for her daughter:

She also designed this classy "get up"

Tina taught her how to pose too

Alicia Keys: "The Government Invented Gangsta Rap"

In this month’s Blender magazine, singer/conspiracy theorist Alicia Keys claims that gangsta rap is actually a ploy used by the government to “convince black people to kill each other.”
She also believes Tupac and Biggie Smalls were assassinated, their rivalries stoked by “the government and the media to stop another great black leader from existing.”
And the great black leader was going to be....?? Who? BIGGIE Smalls? Girlfriend, PLEASE.

Adnan Ghalib Stabbed!

Maybe Adnan will want to go back to Afghanastan now, because it seems he has been stabbed! JKX online reports that lovable Adnan was wounded with lacerations to his arm and face and was "showing off" a black eye when he visited a hospital for medical attention. Authorities are questioning Kathy Griffin about the stabbing. Okay, they aren't really, but she IS the last known person to be seen with him!

Adnan in happier times, back in his homeland

Lindsay's Dad: "White Oprah is Bent on an Evil Path"

Lindsay Lohan's dad took some time off from spreading the gospel word so that he could talk to the NY Daily News. He says Lindsay hasn't bothered to see her grandmother since she was in a serious car accident last month, and that's the reason he's reopening his divorce case with ex-wife Dina.

"I gave her the family house, all the furniture and the $200,000 she owed me just so that I could see my kids and have a relationship with them," Michael Lohan told The News.

"But after I gave her everything she wanted, she made it hard as hell for me to see my children. How old are these brats again? All old enough to decide who they want to see.

"Even though my father is dying and my mother was in a car accident on Easter, my parents still haven't seen my children.

Dina told me, 'It's up to the kids if they want to see their grandparents.' But she's made no effort to put them in touch or make this happen. That is the bottom line. My mother was medevacked by helicopter to the hospital on Easter Sunday after hitting a telephone poll and tree. Thank God, she's okay, but the car was totaled. Every window blew out.

"My father went into heart failure again yesterday - and yet not one of the kids has seen him."

Michael is praying for his ex-wife, White Oprah

Michael says he's also suing his ex over her upcoming reality show, "Living Lohan," slotted to air this summer on the E! channel. "It's the exact same show I pitched. She even used my title."

"I would never get back together with her. She's bent on an evil path."

Marilyn's Secret Sex Tape Sells For 1.5 Million

Marilyn as Norma Jean, when the sex tape was made

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Marilyn Monroe's sex tape, which has been locked away for years, just sold to a private collector for 1.5 Million Dollars. The NY Post reports that he footage appears to have been shot in the 1950s. When it came to light in the mid-'60s, then-FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover had his agents spend two weeks futilely trying to prove that Monroe's sex partner was either John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy, according to declassified agency documents and interviews, Morgan said.
The silent black-and-white flick shows Monroe on her knees in front of a man whose face is just out of the shot.

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The legendary film was sought by others when it's existence became known. The FBI had confiscated the tape from an informant but not before he made a copy:

According to the documents, "Former baseball star Joseph DiMaggio in the past had offered the informant a whopping $25,000 for this film, it being the only one in existence, but he refused the offer.
"Source advised that redacted name of the mole informed them that he had obtained this film prior to the time Marilyn Monroe had achieved stardom."