Breaking News! Britney Too Fat To Get Out of Her Car

Brit struggles to hoist her bloated body from the car

"I done gained 15 pounds last week, y'all."

Though she is unsteady on her feet, her fave boots offer great traction!

"Look, Y'ALL! I gots my frapp-yew-cheeno!"

WHY?! I've seen her real hair, and it looks WAY BETTER!