Sam is "The Man"

Star Magazine has unearthed the riveting news that Samantha Ronson is "the husband" in the lezbo relationship she has with Lindsay.

They’re totally playing house and loving every minute of it. And, yes, they share a bed!” They call Samantha’s Hollywood house “home” — and behind closed doors, “Lindsay and Sam play certain roles — Sam is the boss, the husband. Lindsay is the passive one, the wife. Lindsay will do whatever it takes to hold on to Sam, for Sam fulfills her every wish.
the hideous pair enjoy Disneyland along with Lindsay's 44 year old sister

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They sure had me fooled because Sam is so delicate... and feminine

Amy: Sexy Crackhead

Amy's sex appeal is evident in the photo below!!


Amy has a new man

Beat Down Fag Hag

The life of a fag hag has taken it's toll on once pretty Katie, who looks like an ugly, borderline retarded man who just rolled out of bed


Suri is uglien' up just like her mom


What Katie would look like in this pose today

Just What We Need, Go Away

Aren't two sickening Lohan's enough? I dare you to go somewhere online and listen to A Lohan Holiday, please.

Ashley Kaufmann, the love child of Michael Lohan, is already angling for a record contract, according to MSNBC:

A record-industry insider says, “Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali.”
A Lohan family source adds, “Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael Lohan, not Dina Lohan.”

Madonna and Britney: (Fake) BFF's Again

Attention whore Madonna has asked Britney to go on tour with her, and the played out duo are making a video together. The Sun reports:
Madonna has asked troubled Britney to join her on tour — and pals hope she will give guidance to the young star.
The haggard has been, 49, is set to record a video with Britney, 26, in New York tomorrow.

The footage will be broadcast on huge screens as part of Madonna's Sticky and Sweet tour, (It should be called SWEATY and SOUR)which kicks off on August 23.

Madonna has also invited Britney to appear in person on some of the world tour dates.
A source close to Britney revealed: “They are recording a video together on Sunday that will provide the backdrop for part of Madonna’s show.

“And they are talking about Britney taking the stage on a few of the dates too.
There’s no doubt that her and Britney together will spell fireworks again.

Jim Carey's Hot July 4th Outfit

Jim Carey borrows Jenny McCarthy's suit as they stroll down the beach on the 4th

He wore the suit Jenny had been wearing earlier because he thought it would look good on him

Paris Hilton Has a Hard Life

Wonky eye wore this CORNY plastic flower garland while out on the town in NYC last week. UGHHHHHHHHH

Multi talented Paris Hilton is pitching a show to networks which would feature a panel of ridiculous slut celebrities whining about how hard it is to be THEM. The show, to be called "Dumb Slut Chit Chat", would include such riveting topics as how horrible the paparazzi are, how to handle rude fans, and, of course, the ever present dangers of STD's. The Chicago Sun Times reports:

Just imagine Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling -- as well as Richards, Hilton and her former ''The Simple Life'' co-star, Nicole Richie -- together in one big two-hour special sharing ''their side'' of what it's like to be them.

That concept alone reportedly has intrigued a couple of cable channels initially contacted about the concept: Bravo and Lifetime.

J. Lo in Bikini UGH

Old Hag Slut Madonna is a Homewrecker

I won't apologize! This pic never gets old.

Madonna is "controlling the mind" of New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez, according to his angry wife who he just dumped for sweaty, man handed Madonna.

To retaliate, A-Rod's wife is shacking up with Madonna's ex, the always charming Lenny Kravitz


Mrs. A-rod says that her sweet, loving husband has become a coldhearted beast because of Madonna's Kabbalah bullshit. She told Us Magazine:
"Madonna used kabbalah to brainwash my husband and convince him to leave me."

"I feel like Madonna is using mind control over him," Cynthia, 34, told a pal, according to the News. "I don't recognize the man he's become. He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father.

"Today, he's very cold and calculating," she added.

Cynthia - who is "devastated" about splitting with her husband of five years - also "found a letter where Alex told Madonna: 'You are my true soul mate,'" a source close to the couple told the News.

Madonna, who is worth $600 million has obtained Paul McCartney's divorce attorney. Madonna's husband, Guy Ritchie wants nothing from her, as he is happy to be getting HIS BALLS BACK.

The couples split comes on the heels of news that A-Rod had been making late night booty calls to haggard Mo's apartment, including as early as the day after Cynthia gave birth to their second daughter, Ella - as first reported by Us Weekly.

"Alex literally left 10 minutes after the baby was born, and then was at Madonna's," a source told Us Thursday. "It's true. It's crazy."

The World Mourns the Death of Bozo the Clown

Bozo, (you guessed it) in "happier times."

Larry Harmon, aka Bozo the Clown, died today of congestive heart failure at the age 83. His publicist said he died quietly at home in full clown make-up. Okay, I made that up, he didn't have his make-up on. I LOVE how no one just says "Bozo." They say BOZO THE CLOWN, like you need to say the clown.

Larry wasn't the original Bozo, but he believed the clown could become a major star, so he bought the licensing rights to the character. Eventually, he licensed Bozo out to dozens of TV stations.

His wifey of 29 years said, “He was the most optimistic man I ever met. He always saw a bright side; he always had something good to say about everybody. He was the love of my life."

Corey Feldman To Go Under the Knife!

Corey Feldman is getting lipo to suck his fat out. OMG he thinks he's so cool, and acts like he's a major star, what a corny freak!

Cindy Brady Throws Up During Radio Interview

Cindy Brady, aka Susan Olson, threw up in the middle of a radio interview after admitting that she had drank too much Wednesday night, but between retches she urged listeners to come see her show Thursday night at Loonee’s Comedy Corner on North Academy Boulevard in Colorado Springs, where she opened for headliner Chris “Crazy Legs” Fonseca.
Cindy in happier times

Today, Tragic Susan is a portly alcoholic who wears stuffed animals on her clothes
Crazy Legs Fonseca

Olson had a short "career" in porn, and is a known alcoholic. She has back-ne, gross tats and a body like a truckdriver (seen below)

Olsen blamed Fonseca for her condition.

“Chris got me so wasted last night, and I’m so ready to vomit on the microphone,” she said. She urged fans to come to Loonee’s to watch her and Fonseca “fight with each other, then she did throw up.

Crusty Old Hugh Nearly Chokes on Sex Toy

“Hefner divulges he almost died doing what he loves best while he was with‘Playboy’ Playmate Sondra Theodore,” (below, today) said a publishing source familiar with the book.

The incident happened when Hef and Sondra, the July 1977 Playmate, were in bed making love with a small sex toy. Somehow, the sex toy became lodged in Hef’s throat, said the source.

Theodore, during the time incident took place

“He fell back on the bed, unable to breathe. But Sondra didn’t realize what had happened, said the source.

Corpse-like Hefner also admitted to allowing a man to pleasure him orally." AH!!!!!!!!!!

“Then Hef began choking and was about to pass out. Sondra quickly started pumping his chest until the toy was dislodged. What a way that would have been for him to go!”

Mel Gibson Was Trying To Hook His Son Up

Mel wasn't really trying to "help" Britney at all, his son needed a pudgy, crazy date.
According to Show Biz Spy,

Mel thought his son — who has turned his life around since he was admitted to the Cri-Help rehab facility in Hollywood last year — could help the troubled Toxic singer do the same.
A source tells the publication, “Mel felt Ed would be a great influence on Brit, and if the relationship turned into romance, all the better.”

Mel then arranged a meeting between the pair at Britney’s Hollywood Hills home last March, says the source.
“He sincerely believed that his son could help Britney stay on the straight and narrow and that they might hit it off as a couple as well,” the source adds.

But Spears refused to see Ed, and hid from him and Mel as soon as they arrived at her house.The source continues, “She hid from them for most of the night. Mel and his son spent most of their evening talking to her bodyguards!”