Drowning in a river of self-pity and booze, poor, ugly, Jessica Simpson left for Cabo San Lucas immediately following her sister Ashlee's wedding....ALONE. Well, with her dog, Daisy.
Joe succeeded in begging Tony to attend the wedding, but Tony paid little attention to Jessica. Jessica is a self-centered, pigeon toed (see pic) slut with a growing alcohol problem, and the inability to hold on to any boyfriend, no matter how gross he is. No one wants an obnoxious, stupid alcoholic girlfriend, and her Double D's, long considered to be her best asset, are saggy and worn out just like she is.