Britney Finally Finds Love

Britney's new man, Bro Biggerly, has been helping her get over her less than kind album reviews. The couple met at Starbucks, where Bro couldn't help but notice that Britney was alone, and asked her to share some espresso cake with him. They hit it off, despite the fact that Bro didn't know who she was. He kept calling her Whitley, and this really turned Britney on. She was heard saying, "Yer makin' me blush, Bro! Quit messin' with my mind, y'all!"

Bro's friends are quick to warn the disturbed (ex) child star, saying, "She'll have her hands full with Bro. He's a ladies man from the word GO. He's not to be trusted. He is the definition of "Player."

Brit's Album is a SMASH Hit!

"Blackout is terrible. Heck, even the title seems like a joke, considering the substance abuse allegations, even if her team tries to explain it away as a reference to "blocking out negativity and embracing life fully." - Newsday

"Spears needs to keep it grimy, because the alternative is a numbing blandness that makes you think too long about head-scratcher lines such as Heaven on Earth's "I fall off the edge of my mind."" - USA Today