Bad News, Kate: Hippies Aren't "Cool"

Ryder is cute, despite his mother's attempt to force him to be a "hippie."

I hate people who try to be things they aren't. Especially things that were NEVER COOL. Kate? You're not a "hippie," except maybe for the way you smell, because everyone is well aware that you don't bathe. UGH
Do you think you could wash and brush his hair at least? NO, CUT HIS HAIR. Let him decide if he wants to be an ugly freak like his dad and Celine Dion's son when he gets older

I know you think you're cool, but your misplaced arrogance, coupled with the fact that you're a dirty, know-it-all slut, is really not cool

Your movies suck too! Your first one was good, but then you thought you were going to win an Oscar, so all the ones after that have sucked.
when did you get so ugly?

My daughter told me you were a freak a long time ago, and I didn't listen. But you are. CUT. HIS. HAIR.