Carrie Underwood She AIN'T

Breathy. Corny. Desperate. Loser. Please stop singing. These were my thoughts when hearing Jessica Simpson's sad attempt at singing country. Oh, and god...she's ugly.

For a treat, here are the lyrics, because they are so mind numbingly heavy that I thought it would help you to understand her deep and introspective lyrical genius, which she shares with her sister:
Leave your dishes
In the sink
Leave the ice cubes
In your drink
Just come on over
Leave your coat
Behind the door
Leave your laundry
On the floor
Just come on over

I need you know
I need you bad
I need you, baby
Looking just like that

Don't pack your bag
Don't make me wait
I wanna kiss that smile
That's on your face
I need you
Wrapped up
In these arms
I want you
Just the way you are
Come on over

Baseball cap
And torn-up jeans
A pair of flip-flops
On your feet
Just come on over
Don't slow down
Don't stop for gas
Keep those four wheels
Spinning fast
Just come on over
Listen if you dare: