A Heartfelt Letter to Kelly


Kelly "Don't Hate me because I'm beautiful" LeBrock was at Oscars Night of 100 Stars last night. I'm still wondering where the stars were, but that's neither here nor there. I won't hate you because you're beautiful, Kelly, or even because you're fat. I do hate fat people, but no, I won't hate you for that. Everybody gains weight, even me. How about I'll hate you for thinking you're sexy when you look ridiculous? Then, I'll hate you for squeezing your big linebacker shoulders into a skin tight cocktail dress and having the unmitigated gall to pretend you're "making love to the camera."


Just curious, do you have a mirror at home? Have you seen what you've done to your lips? I mean.. let's just say the obvious, that you've gained like, an 40 extra pounds since you were on Celebrity Fit Club. Isn't that kind of embarrassing? But, okay, so what. But then you stuff your bulges into that dress and then pose like you're hot with your big, deformed, nasty lips like OOOOHHHHHH here I am, Kelly LeB, and I am smokin'. I mean that's really offensive, you know? Oh, and P.S. Um... you're not a 'star." Two corny eighties movies and a shampoo commercial? I don't think so
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