Jessica Plans a Ho-Down

Willie Nelson has agreed to write a substantial portion of Jessica Simpson's new album after he was promised a whole lot of money to do so. Simpson, whose last album was completely ignored, believes herself to be popular with the "rodeo crowd." Ha!Ha! When will this bitch just give it up.

Jessica hopes to be the next Patsy Cline or Shania Twain (Good luck with THAT) and has wanted to do a country album since first meeting Willie Nelson while filming Dukes of Hazzard. Yeah, right. More like since she realized that no one has ever liked her pop albums, even when she was a teenager. No one likes her voice! She sounds like a corny old woman when she sings. Her songs suck too, even the sickening facial expressions she makes when she's trying to sing make her difficult to watch. Oh, and also, no one likes her as a human being.

Simpson, who grew up in Texas, said of her plans: "My next album is probably going to be with Willie Nelson. I've been wanting to do a country record because it's in my roots." OMG, she probably thinks that country fans aren't smart enough to notice that she has no talent. I think there is a career in porn for her though.