Too Much Time on Her (MAN) Hands

During her recent trip to South Africa with boyfriend Benji Madden, Paris Hilton remained obsessed with consumerism. Sources at the posh Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town claimed Paris actually inquired on how she could obtained a cheetah to take home with her.

A hotel spy tells us: “Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?’”

I would have told her, "Oh, yes, Paris, Cheetah's are gentle and loving pets," and then roared with laughter when the cheetah ripped her throat out.