Lindsay Lohan: The Mini Series

A disgusted, (and disgusting) Dina Lohan says it's not true, her daughter Lindsay never stole a blond mink coat. "I talked to Lindsay, we were laughing hysterically on the phone...I mean really, it's silly," Dina told INSIDE EDITION. And that was a really believable explanation for why Lindsay was seen wearing the coat by thousands of people the same night it was stolen!

Dina looks like a coke pig. That's obviously coke packed into her snout. Keep laughing hysterically, Dina. Your time is about up, in fact, it's up.. you're just too coked up to know it. You and your ugly girls will be dragging your skanky, used up bodies back to Long Island where you belong so that you can "mingle" with other middle aged whores like yourselves.

Meanwhile, Lindsay's classy, (and very haggard looking!) husband didn't have much to say about her crimes

Enjoy this new photo of Lindsay staggering out of the club last night with a pair of her tacky, shiny, scratchy, baggy crotched leggings which I'm sure will be a big hit! They look especially fashionable with some big lesbo tennis shoes too. Even if we knew nothing about Lindsay, and just saw how she dressed.. like anyone would want to buy her leggings! The only time she was able to look good (fashion wise) was when the designers wanted her to wear their clothes and she got them for free. Stealing $20,000 worth of Louis Vuitton items after a shoot, and her behavior since changed all that. Louis made sure no designer would ever comp her again. She also lost her modeling job as the face of to Hilary Swank.

Lindsay "debuted" her shitty new line of leggings yesterday, and had to practically beg photographers to come. The ad the cheapass ran in the trades specified that the models understand that they would not be paid, and that she didn't want any blonds. It appears one of the TWO models to show up is blond. And, um... the one on the left resembles a horse! (not that that has anything to do with anything, but if you associate yourself with Lindsay, you're fair game)