This Week's Star

Handgelina doesn't want her pic taken, oh poor Handgi, UGH. Besides the really hot big man hands she's got goin' on, I'm loving the trashy, tacky green writing all over her see thru, veiny arms. Oh yum she is so incredibly beautiful!

The scary complications are that Handgi has to do a medical detox off her heroin before giving birth! Or maybe that she's such a BITCH that the twins will have to be immediately handed over to a loving mid-wife, because the dr.'s are fearful that Gigangelina will fly into a rage when she sees her newborns and eat them.

Britney and Kevin's sexy midnight talks? Oh gross.
Kevin: Hey baby gurl... wut you wearin'?
Britney: (burp) My brown boots with no socks. And one of my ugly hoodies with burrito stains. That's all.