At Last! Bret Without His Bandana

I mean he still has a fake weave and looks like a lesbian woman, but it's pretty bold of him to go without!

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Hasn't Anyone Else Noticed How CORNY Bret Michaels Is?

And that's CORNY with a capitol K. I mean how many times is he going to sing "Every Rose Has It's Thorn?" And refer to it? Move on, dude. Excerpt from a recent interview:

What keeps you inspired as a songwriter after all these years?

"For me it's really simple. It's about life. Everyday for me…I can truly tell you my life is a rose and a thorn. Meaning I have great times in my life, I go through tough times in my life. Being a diabetic, being a father, the car wreck, the sex tape scandal thing; It seems every time something good happens I get a couple bada bing bada booms that knock me around A little bit. It gives me plenty to work on, plenty to write about. (Laughs) I'm truly one of those people that isn't hidden away in some big house where I don't speak to anybody. I go out, even though Poison has done well and stuff like that. I'm truly out there living life."... Bret Michaels.

Everything he says is so corny and lame I get chills of embarrassment for him. BADA BINGS BADA BOOMS??!! WHO SAYS THAT??? I didn't care what "turned him on" in the eighties, and I sure don't now! WHO DOES CARE? He starts every sentence with "That really turns me on." And the sock he wears in his pants... PLEASE. Though it is nearly impossible to find a recent picture of him without his bandana, I saw one last year where his hair is VERY THIN and flat on top, and he looked like a beat down old woman for some reason. I wish I would have saved it.

Anyway, according to The Gauntlet, the BIG NEWS is that there is a sex tape of him and some of the skanks from Rock of Love I about to be made available for your viewing pleasure! You can see him naked at bretmichaelsbootlegs. whee!!!

Bret Will Be Back For Rock of Fake Love Part 2!

Vh1 has confirmed that Bret Michaels will be back for another round of Rock of Love. Tommy Lee, Nikki Six, Mark McGrath and Dave Navarro were all rumored to take over for Bret.

Bret will once again try and find "love" among 20 women. This season, more of the show will focus on Bret's difficult struggle with diabetes, and his attempt to share with the world what is really under his bandana. Okay, I was just trying to scare you with the diabetes thing, but we HAVE to see him without his hair/bandana combo! He's so in love with that big boring dork Big John too. Doesn't Big John have a brand of baked beans or something?

In other breaking Rock of Love news, (Ha! Ha!) that steroid queen psycho egomaniac Rodeo, Cindy Steedle, is saying that she feels she has a chance with Bret now that Jess doesn't want him. Also this season, Brett will learn a new song besides Every Rose Has It's Thorn, and he will also be "turned on" by a bunch of stuff that everybody else thinks is gross.

So Fake

You better sit down..Bret Michaels and his " Rock of Love" winner Jes are no longer together. Page Six reports that they never even got started. When Jes got back home to Chicago she called up Bret and told him that she's dating somebody else now, a local fashion designer.
Oh well! Guess Bret and his bandana-wig combo will have to go it alone.

I still don't understand why we (me included) watch "reality shows" that we know are fake.

The Real Truth About Fake Shows

Jess never dated that tired old botoxed Bret. She is still a bartender/hairdresser in Chicago, and is dating a clothing designer there.

Rock Of Love's Heather Did NOT Agree to Share Bret

the truth about the final episode
Current mood: sad

HELLO ALL,
FIRST I WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT THROUGH OUT THE SEASON OF ROCK OF LOVE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT EDITING PLAYS A HUGE PART IN TELEVISION, THAT'S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE INTERESTED IN WATCHING. I HAVE CRIED MANY NIGHTS OVER HOW SOME EPISODE PORTRAY ME. I AM SO HEARTBROKEN AND APPALLED THAT I LOOK SO INSENSITIVE IN THE FINALE. I LOVED BRET VERY MUCH AND HE WILL HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOREVER. IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART THAT THE EDITING MAKES ME LOOK SO INSENSITIVE.ON OUR DATE IN CABO WHEN HE SAID HE WASNT FEELING WELL WE STOPPED AND I WENT AND GOT HIM SOME WATER..IT WAS HIM WHO WANTED TO KEEP RIDING TO GET ALL DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES. I WAS
FULL OF SAND AND WOULD HAVE LOVED TO JUST CHILL ON THE BEACH IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THE MOST REAL, DID EVERYTHING I COULD FOR HIM---U GUYS DID NOT SEE WHEN I WOULD MAKE HIM BREAKFAST IN BED OR WHEN I BOUGHT HIM BALOONS AND ROSES ON HIS BDAY.. I WENT SHOPPING FOR HIM AND HIS KIDS IN CABO AND ACTUALLY SPENT OVER $1000 THROUGHOUT THAT MONTH., BECAUSE I LOVE TO GIVE AND ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.
NO, I WASNT THE SKINNIEST ONE OR THE PRETTIEST ONE, BUT I WAS HONEST AND GAVE HIM MY HEART. BRET SEES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVERYDAY OF HIS LIFE---REMEMBER TAMARA--BUT, ITS CHEMISTRY AND AN AMAZING BOND THAT IS HARD TO FIND.... WE BOTH FOUND IT AND ITS A SHAME ALL OF AMERICA HAS TO THINK THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST---I ABSOLUTELY, 100% DID NOT SAY I WOULD SHARE HIM.WE BOTH SAID NO..THAT WAS EDITED AND I AM SOOOO APPALLED BY THAT--AS IF THE STRIPPER THING WASNT ENOUGH, (WHICH I QUIT DOING MONTHS AGO)--OR PRETTY MUCH NEVER SHOWING ONE BAD THING ABOUT JESS, I GOT RAN THROUGH THE COALS AND HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAIN.
I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THE TRUTH.
I DO HAVE A COUPLE THINGS IN THE WORKS, SO U WILL BE SEEING ME AGAIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE
SINCERELY,
HEATHER

Jess Wins the Big Prize

Cool. Hot. Smart. Fun.

That's how Poison lead singer Bret Michaels summed up Jes Rickleff on Sunday, when he chose the Illinois native as the winner of in VH1 reality show "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels."

After vying against 24 other women during 12 episodes, Rickleff won the singer's heart during the season finale by refusing to share him with the other contestant, Heather.

The prize? To become Michaels' girlfriend. Ha! Ha!

After the show aired, Rickleff said her victory turned a bit sour when she saw the show's editing; she was particularly upset with a scene where the camera blurred thelower half of her body to make it appear nude. Rickleff insists she was wearing a bikini.

"Of course I'm thrilled to win, but I'm not a happy camper about that right now," Rickleff said. "I tried to portray myself with morals throughout the show, and I guess they tried to mess with me a bit at the end."

Jes is still coy about whether she's still dating Michaels.

Bret Michaels needs a NURSE more than he needs a girlfriend. He comes with way too much baggage, and he's a big baby. I doubt they are still "dating," as this was just another fake reality show. Bret also revealed to Rolling Stone that he did have sex with Heather right before he cut her loose, and that he had received regular oral pleasuring (GROSSSS) from that hideous Lacey.

Big Rock of Love Finale TONIGHT!

Celebreality did a photo collage of Heather's hair each week as she waits to see if she is the chosen one. Tonight is the night! Whoever Bret Michaels picked, (like he is a prize anyway), they are probably already broken up. Lucky for us there will be another version of Rock of Love with a different worn out middle aged "rock star."

Sweatin' to the Oldies

Bret Michaels revealed to Chelsea Handler that he had once had sex with Roseanne, and that he had long fantasized sex with Bea Arthur, Golden Girl star, and became quite friendly with Bea when she portrayed Maude. Gross.

Will You Stay Here and Rock My Stale, Boring World?

The press release for the VH1 show, Rock of Love is hysterical:

Hot on the heels of VH1's "Flavor of Love" and "I Love New York," comes a fresh new take on this wildly exciting relationship show. Known as the bandana-clad ( lol ) , blue- eyed lead singer/songwriter from one of today's (today's?) legendary (legendary?) rock bands, Bret Michaels has been handpicked (the only one that would do it) by VH1 to take this series to all new heights of rock-n-roll insanity! The hard-rockin' Poison front man is looking for a woman who can truly keep up with his rock-n- roll lifestyle (um, he's what? 50?) and not become jealous of his one true passion - performing, which has been the reason for and destruction of most of his relationships (either that, or they saw him without his bandana). As VH1's hottest eligible bachelor (well yeah, when your only competition is Flavor Flav), a bevy of beauties (really worn out strippers) will try to win his heart (whatever money he has which can't be much since he's doing a VH1 dating show) in the new series "Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" premiering in July. With twenty years of continuous multi-platinum success (two twenty year old albums that sold a lot in the 80's) and sold-out tours,(25 years ago) Michaels is ready to wear his heart on his sleeve (or on his head for extra coverage). The series will focus on the never- before-revealed private side of Michaels ( Pam/Bret video anyone?). Residing with Michaels in his (Vh1's rented) Los Angeles rock palace, these women will be tested on their devotion to him and their love and understanding of all that is rock-n-roll (they will be tested on who's the biggest slut). To help narrow the field, Michaels will put these women through various challenges. The ladies who win these challenges will join Michaels on some wild (nothing too wild, don't wanna lose the bandana!) and exclusive excursions, while those who can't hang like true groupies will be escorted out in bona fide rock star fashion."
source: asshat

Oh.. THAT'S Why it Seemed So Fake

Well, just another lesson learned in the fake world of reality T.V. I watched Rock of Love, and wondered why Bret picked such a horrible group of hardcore, worn out strippers, and then didn't seem to be the least bit interested in any of them.
It turns out the only people "rocking his world" are his long-time wife, Kristi Gibson and their two daughters, Raine, 7 and Jorja, 2. Yep. He's happily married and living in Tucson, Arizona. The yucky ho's on the show who are "fighting for their man" are real nasty ho's, of course, but they are his myspace fans who wanted their (icky) 15 minutes of fame. So why then? Self promotion, of course, which isn't that surprising. I just wonder how his wife can stand to watch?