Teeny Tom is After Jerry Seinfeld!!

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Tiny Tom Cruise and Jerry Seinfeld have been hanging out together again. The two say they both have homes in Telluride Colorado and that is their connection... but I believe their connection is far more sinister. The two unlikely pals have had dinner with their wives together several times. Teeny T. even pretended to be interested in Jerry's car collection. But the small one has other plans on his evil, twisted mind. Behind those sunglasses lurks a predator, hell bent on recruiting the very rich, dorky Seinfeld into a world he couldn't possibly understand. You guessed it, the world of Scientology.

The two had nothing in common until Jerry made the mistake of saying publicly that he took some Scientology courses 30 years ago. Instantly, dwarf-like Cruise was on the phone, suggesting The Seinfeld's meet he and his paid, towering robot girl for dinner. These are the words that will come back to haunt Jerry:
"I did some Scientology courses about 30 years ago," the comedian told Access Hollywood . "I didn't do very much. I don't know that much, I just did a little but I liked it."

Jerry In Car Wreck

Somehow avoiding serious injury, Jerry Seinfeld walked away unharmed after being involved in a rollover car wreck on Saturday in East Hampton, New York.

According to New York Post reports, the 53-year-old comic “was driving alone when the brakes on his 1967 Fiat BTM stopped working. As his vehicle headed into traffic on the highway, he pulled the emergency brake, but it didn’t work.”

From there, Seinfeld “cut the wheel to the right and the two-door sedan flipped over and came to a stop yards from the highway. The car rolled onto the passenger side, then the roof and finally topped on the driver’s side.”

Jerry’s wife Jessica told press “He was a little shocked when he walked in, and it started to dawn on him what happened.”

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Sick of His Bitchy Wife, Seinfeld Will Attempt a "Comeback"

Page Six is reporting that Seinfeld and his overblown ego are planning his big NBC comeback. Oh god.
Sources tell PageSix.com that the 53-year-old comedian is in talks for a new series on his old network. The show is being pitched as "just like Curb Your Enthusiasm, but with Jerry, instead of Larry." The series, which is aiming for a June premiere, will be set in New York and will feature Jerry Seinfeld "playing himself in an exaggerated reality." Wow that sounds like a really fresh concept. Will you have a bald best friend too who lives with his parents? You're too old to be living in an "exaggerated reality."
Um... Jer? Do you know what it was that made both "Seinfeld" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" funny? Larry David. Without Larry David, you just have some stale, self-absorbed, old news idiot wondering what's the deal with airline peanuts. I can't wait to watch him BOMB. We are so over him. Bad news, Jerry it's too late. Not that there's anything wrong with that. You should have stayed out on top, because now you'll find out that you weren't really that funny. It was obviously all Larry. ALL. LARRY.

Annoying. Not Funny Anymore. Go Away.

“I’m old, I’m rich and I’m tired.” Jerry Seinfeld

- On creating another television sitcom.

Jerry Seinfeld Doesn't Allow His Wife To Talk About Him

Things apparently got a little tense at Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld's house, after the comedy legend heard about his wife's interview on Barbara Walters' Sirius satellite radio show.

While chatting with Walters, Jessica Seinfeld flatly stated her hubby's new animated hit ''Bee Movie'' would be his last big-screen venture. Seems the four years of work on the film, plus the recent massive publicity campaign, which kept Papa Seinfeld away from his wife and kids, was just too much for the family to bear, at least as far as Jessica Seinfeld was concerned.

Jerry was angry, and made it clear to his wife that she should never discuss his career plans in public without first consulting him. Don't worry, Jerry.. you're not funny anymore, so no one really cares what your future plans may be. or BEE.

Larry Has No Respect for Jerry

What's the deal with Larry?

Who the hell am I?

Jerry Seinfeld looked pretty annoyed with crusty 103 year old Larry King when Larry didn't have a clue about Jerry's classic show. What's the deal with that?

On Thursday's "Larry King Live," the uninformed corpse asked Jerry if "Seinfeld" was canceled, and he was serious. Jerry seemed genuinely shocked that Larry (his "Bee Movie" co-star) didn't know. "You think I got canceled?" Jerry shot back. "I was the number one show on television, Larry ... 75 million viewers in the last episode."

Bury this dude. He clearly doesn't even know who HE is, let alone a guest on his show. He is not only too old to be on TV, he's too old to be alive. Is he alive? He's painful to watch.

Seinfeld's Wife Gives Oprah 21 Pairs of Shoes

Last week, as the Huffington Post reports, Jessica Seinfeld appeared on big mouthed Oprah's show to promote her new cookbook for kids "Deceptively Delicious" – and just like magic, it instantly appeared on best-seller lists. And, today, husband Jerry will be there to talk about his animated flick "Bee Movie."

How did Mrs. Seinfeld thank Oprah for putting her stupid book on the bestseller list? With 21 pairs of shoes, most of which are Christian Louboutins that go for $800-1200 per pair. Just $20,000 worth of footwear between Winfrey and the Seinfelds, who landed on Forbes' list as the biggest earners in TV last year.

Do these big, crusty, deformed, bunioned, hammer toed hooves really need twenty thousand dollars worth of shoes? She should have gotten her some foot surgery and a coupon to the orthopedic footwear warehouse.

Jerry Returning to NBC

Jerry Seinfeld will head back to NBC on Oct. 4 for a guest appearance on 30 Rock. He'll be playing himself.

In an interview with The New York Post, Seinfeld says the only one reason he agreed to do the part is because, "I'm obsessed with Alec Baldwin. I think he's one of the greatest actors, and I'm so glad that he's doing comedy because I think he's always been underutilized for his comedic skills.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Julia Louis-Dreyfus will be thrilled when her new issue of Time magazine lands in the mailbox. Her former castmate Jerry Seinfeld tells writer Jess Cagle he has never watched her show, “The New Adventures of Old Christine.”