AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Brooke Hogan is a Sweaty Liar With Ween Rash

Brooke signed a court document that claimed the Hulking one beat Linda, but she was lying.

Brooke's rep says: "Brooke Bollea is distressed at the latest efforts by her cow mother, Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry's behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father."
Oh, she was upset, so that means she WASN'T LYING.

Brooke and mom Linda in happier times

Linda poses in a REALLY NATURAL way to attempt to hide her sagging jowls. Yeah, alot of us REST OUR HEAD IN OUR HAND WHILE WE'RE STANDING UP

"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," Big, sweaty Brooke says. "But using children as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."
(And someone should tell the gigantic man-beast that she isn't a CHILD.) UGH

Bonus! Brooke's ween rash

In this photo: Start Tagging

Even when Brooke wears lingerie, she looks suspiciously like a man at all times

No Thanks

Oh God, please go away somewhere, and take Jessica Simpson with you. Man shaped Brooke Hogan has been offered a role as a big meaty freak in Playboy Magazine.
And she didn’t say no. I'm going out on a limb and saying no one wants to see this cow naked.

The “Brooke Hogan Knows Best” loser, (who not only doesn't know best, but doesn't know anything) 20, could use a boost for her stagnant and non-existent "career." Hogan’s 2006 album “Undiscovered” reportedly sold just 27,000 copies.

But her father, Hulk Hogan sure will be jealous, because no one should see her naked except him.

Brooke has posed for a men’s magazine in the past (she appeared on the cover of FHM in a skimpy bikini in 2006), but has never posed nude. “No decision has been made at this time,” her rep said.

What's next? A pictorial of her and her hideous friend in a lesbo layout?

Latest Creepy, Manly, Inappropiate Pics of Brooke Hogan

Taken by her biggest, (and only) fan....her Daddy.
Her autograph pen!!!! LIKE. ANYONE. WANTS. HER. AUTOGRAPH! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brooke Hogan is a Man

Brooke Hogan and her troll like pal enjoy diner at The Waverly Inn

GROSSSSSSSSSS They're both so ugly and think they're cool!

Hulk Hogan Loves the Gays

On the new season of Brooke Knows Best which debuts on VH1 next week, Brooke Hogan moves in with a gay choreographer named Glenn in South Beach. Of course he's immediately grilled by dad Hulk Hogan:

HULK: "You're gay, which is cool. On the big big gay scale on a 1 to 10, the ten being the gayest, I mean, where are you at?"

GLENN: "I wouldn't say I'm the gayest, but I'd say I'm a 10 gay."

Please Put This Girl Out of her Misery

"It's like he's touching an old car... he used to change my diaper!" Brooke HO-gan on her daddy's hands rubbing oil all over her ass
Um, Brooke? It's not the same thing as changing your diaper.

Hi

"Im totally freaked out. I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support. … I went to school with my mom’s new boyfriend. He was a grade under me. Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us in school. I thought we were one of the normal Hollywood families. It’s crazy watching it all fall apart, but I hope for the best." ... talentless, manly, attention whore Brooke Hogan, who is obsessed with us praying for her, and lets her dad rub oil on her ass cheeks.
This may be old news, but it's what brought me back. Thanks for all of your support, and noticing that I've been gone. I'll come back, but right now, I just started a new job making crazy money just for talking on the phone, and I've been hanging out with my son who is visiting me. He's way too much fun.

Assholes

Hulk and Hulk Jr. visit Nick in prison

If you didn't hear the sickening banter between The Hogan's jail convo's here is some more:

Hulk: "Well, I don't know what type of person John was. Or what he did to get himself in this situation. I know he was pretty aggressive and yelled at people and do stuff. And for some reason God laid some heavy shit on that kid. I don't know what he was into."

Nick: "He was a negative person.

Hulk: "He was what?"

Nick: "He was a negative person. Will you work on that Real-Ality deal?"

Hulk: "Yep"

Nick: "Get that lined up so the minute I walk out...wherever I walk out of it's there...boom."

Hulk: "Can you do it while you're on probation?"

Nick: "Of course."

Hulk: "Do you want to do it with Pink Sneakers or someone else?"

Nick: "I want to do it where I'll make the most money."
Hulk: "You got it, BUBBA."
I have to throw up now.
Okay, here's what it really looked like

Brooke Hogan in Car Accident. LOL!

Brooke's new Mercedes slammed into a 1997 Toyota on the Clearwater Bayside Bridge. Luckily, her passenger is not in a coma, and her brain, such as it is, remains intact. Mommy and Daddy were there to make sure that the accident will be blamed on the other driver. What did Brooke do immediately following her accident? She rushed home, and got on Myspace, (SERIOUSLY) and dedicated her car wreck to Nick and his brain dead passenger, thanking them both for reminding her to wear her seat belt. Oh, and she wants us to pray for her.

She also said: "I don't know if you heard, but my friend and I got into a really bad car accident today ourselves... As I turned on my car I clicked my seatbelt. As we pulled out onto the road, I looked over and realized my friend didn't have her seatbelt on. I reminded her to put it on and the minute she clicked it, a car crashed into us. It was a horrible car accident, one that most would be severely hurt in, but we had our seatbelts on and they kept us in tight. I owe my brother Nick and his friend John our lives." This exaggeration and excuse to try to squeeze some prayer or sympathy from the public, (who hates her) was since taken off her myspace page. So, in other words, BROOKE HOGAN SAVES LIVES!!!

Brooke's Mental Breakdown, Hulk Running His Mouth

Fox News reports that Brooke Hogan is suffering a mental breakdown. YAWN

This thing where Brooke and her mom keep trying to force their "SEXINESS" on us? NOT WORKING. I've seen transvestites that were far more feminine and attractive

“She’s suffering the worst of all; she just can’t keep it together and has been hit the hardest,” said the source, adding that Brooke is “extremely sensitive” and her emotions are spiraling out of control. Brooke’s relationship with her father was severely strained after his reported infidelity with her former friend made news in February.
While our source said that Nick’s arrest has “brought them a little closer to reconciliation,” it’s not the case for Hulk and his wife, Linda. The estranged couple appeared together at Nick’s hearing on May 9, where Linda even flashed her wedding ring, apparently for the first time since news of the reported affair broke.

Give it up, you're a big, ugly man

“Basically they were trying to put their best foot forward and fake a public image of unity and support for their son,”(which no one believed) our insider said. “ Hulk is a very astute businessman and very good at playing the media — he even admitted in court that their reality show was scripted and not so real after all.”

Hulk can't stop running his mouth about how it was their FAKE REALITY show which caused Nick to drive recklessly, resulting in his friends' vegetative state.

“I was offered lots of reality shows when I was making my career comeback against The Rock, but I kept saying no. But years later, it was my daughter’s career and son’s racing career that we were thinking about."We saw the Ashlee Simpson show and Jessica Simpson’s and Lindsay Lohan on the big screen and we just didn’t haven’t a vehicle to compete,” he said. “But I considered it, because this time it was about the Hogan family rather than Hulk Hogan; they all wanted to do it and I tried to warn them about what they were in for. Now look what happened.”

Yeah, look what happened, Hulk. Let's see. You cheated on Linda, got divorced. Yeah, that was the media's fault. Or, maybe the fault of the producers of your TV show. Because the cheater was just a role you were playing. And Nick's had what... 17 speeding tickets and he's 17? So.. the fact that he drives like an asshole, that was part of his 'TV persona," right? STFU, you are all morons.
GO AWAY, you're NOT FUNNY, NOT CUTE
Nice old lady fingernails

Brooke Hogan Still Running Her Mouth

John Graziano was a person before he knew asshole Nick Bollea/Hogan



I think I can safely speak for all of us when I say that we have heard and seen enough of the Hogans/Bollea's whatever , to make our own decisions that yes, they are a family of self-centered assholes. So Brooke, the big ugly man needs to STFU. Now, from Brookie's Myspace:

You are really gross, what a BEAST

Monday, May 12, 2008

BS
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Life

I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I’m really pissed that the truth didn’t come out from either side. A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn’t from us. John was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME. that should say enough…. Im not going to be out spoken right now, but If some s*** doesn’t start getting straightened out, A lot of people are going to eat their words for lieing. I know all of the truth and I have back up. I never know how twisted this world could be but I’m starting to figure it out. And I’m gonna have to jump off my high road and tackle some ppl who are taking the low road. I know you guys don’t understand, but you will really really soon. Keep praying. And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He’s not “NICK HOGAN.” AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…

Dear Brooke,

This crap about "He's not Nick Hogan, he's a TV character..." has NOTHING to do with how he drives, or how many speeding tickets he had BEFORE he turned his friend into a vegetable. Since when was NICK BOLLEA AN ACTOR playing a ROLE? SICK! Oh, and Brookie? We aren't as "gullible" as you think, moron. Not a soul on earth cares if "you're pissed," and if any of us PRAYS, it won't BE FOR YOU OR NICK, and it won't be because you told us, you egomaniac little bitch. Oh, and don't flatter yourself, the whole world isn't sitting around talking about The Bollea family. You go after those liars, Brooke! Those no good liars with their brain dead son! Maybe your Myspace friends can go beat them up or something!

nice hand cuffs

Brooke Hogan Booed By Angry Crowd

“American Gladiators” host Hulk Hogan bored his studio audience… when he showed them his daughter’s latest music video.

“Boo! Make it stop - please!”

That was the general sentiment of rowdy audience members at the April 13 taping of the NBC show when Brooke’s video played on the jumbo screen during a break.

“We though we’d be entertained by some of the sexy gladiators during breaks in filming, but instead, we got a snooze fest,” grumbled an audience member.

“This horrible music started playing, and then the video of this ‘wannabe Britney’ appeared on the jumbo screen. Everyone in the place looked confused….

“When we realized Hulk was just trying to promote Brooke’s new record, people started shouting, ‘Stop the music, Hulk. Please turn it off!’” said a source. The Hulk did what the angry crowd wanted. but he was mad about it.

OMG SO SICK

I always knew there was some sick, unnatural shit going on between these two. I felt it ever since Brooke peeked in the shower where Daddy Hulk was and squealed with delight to her big brute of a mom, "I saw Daddy's weiner!" Yeah, real normal.

"Here, Brookie, your ass needs some lotion" and just the way he's hovering over her is sick enough!

"Lift up a little..that's right...yes..."

"Your ass tissue is very sensitive, we need to re-apply this every hour"



Then he lingers as he plunges his entire hand deep into her ass crack!! Her reaction is that of someone who is VERY USED TO him touching her this way OMG



"I told you we need to put more on every half hour. Oh. Did I say every hour? Well, uh... it's every half hour."