Ashlee and Pete: Trying to Hard And FAILING

Ashlee fails at everything, and especially this "really cool and mellow pregnant hippie girl" look. GOD, go away.

Oh, and her husband is still gay

Pete Wentz is REALLY REALLY Funny

OMG! Stop! Stop, Pete! No, I'm serious! You're making my sides hurt! OMG You're SO FUNNY!! Pretending that your bagel is a cellphone, Oh Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I never thought of that myself!!!

OMG is that Pete behind that paper plate?? Is he really offering to sell ads on his face? Oh hahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop it, Pete, I mean it this time. What does the plate say? Douchebag? OMG Hahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even catch my breath!

Jessica Simpson is a Big Slut

Jessica cheated on Tony Romo with TWO different scumbags, because who else would sleep with the used up tramp? One was Jared Leto,

and the other was the really sickening Zach Braff. Braff is known for being obnoxious, and not being able to get anyone to have sex with him.

But then he saw Jessica, and she is known for being desperate and easy.

Ugly sister Ashlee on her honeymoon

Ashlee's Wedding: Like a Funeral For Jessica

Ashlee's wedding was described as "magical." As in "not real", because Papa Joe performed their ceremony so that it wouldn't be considered legal. Tony and Jessica were there but did not interact, or have any fun together.

Jessica stands alone in black, (wearing a Grandma shawl), knowing that no man will ever want to marry her

Ashlee Simpson is An Ugly Slut

"I lifted my dress way up over my head right when I first met him, so it was love at first sight." Ashlee on meeting her gay boyfriend, The Unibomber.

Ashlee Simpson is a Slut

Ashlee had sex with this dude, TJ, for 2 months while she was seeing gay lil' Pete. TJ's "pal" says:

"So my buddy TJ is the guy I was telling you about who hooked up with Ashley Simpson while she was with Pete Wentz. He’s just some normal dude -no industry connects. He met Ashley at some club in West Hollywood a little over a year ago and they sexed eachother up over a two month period or so. We used to give him shit about her taste in guys because she was dating that tool box Pete Wentz. TJ never admitted to sleeping with her, but when I asked him about her pregnancy he said “I did the math dude, trust me, it’s not mine.” haaa, I hope not!”

Quote of the Day

"Sexuality is a grey area for me. Do I think dudes are attractive? Yes."
Pete Wentz, Asslee Simpson's husband

Ass feels the sheer power of her music

Kill Them.

The huge news is that Jessica will be Asslee's maid of honor! Who could have imagined it would be her! Oh, I just can't wait to see what she'll wear!
These two have to be joking. Am I the only one who sees how truly ugly, inside and out they both are? The LOOK on Jessica's face!!! Her teeth and saggy old woman ear lobes!! She's so purely sickening.

She's so deeply entranced by her shitty music! So intensely masterful and timeless!!

and now, for a sampling of Asslee's lyrical and musical genius: For your convenience, I've highlighted the most intense and thought provoking lyrics.
All the nasty girls
Around the world
All the nasty girls
Around the world

Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh

I'm living on floor
Get down with me
I'm living on the floor
Come aw with me

Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh
Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh

I'm living on floor
Get down with me
I'm on the floor
Come aw with me

Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh
Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh

30 second highs
And 30 second lows
I forgot my car
Let's get a cab and go

Somebody call the cop
A riot's on the way
When we get to the club
They'll be hell to pay
When we get to the club
Somebody better play

Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh
Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh

Everybody's looking for a good time
Don't you know a good time doesn't hurt
(ar-ar-ar-ar)
Everybody wants to feel the spotlight
So let me show you how my nasty works

I'm living on floor
Get down with me
I'm on the floor
Come aw with me

Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh
Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh

Everybody's looking for a good time
Don't you know a good time doesn't hurt
(ar-ar-ar-ar)
Everybody wants to feel the spotlight
So let me show you how my nasty works
(ar-ar-ar-ar)

Whoa-o-o-o-o
Whoa-o-oo-o
Whoa-o-o-o-o
Whoa-o-oo-o

Just work it
Pump it
(ar-ar-ar-ar)
Now flip it
Oh
Now freak it
(ar-ar-ar-ar)
Aw Aw oh

30 second highs
And 30 second lows
I forgot my car
Let's get a cab and go

I'm living on floor
Get down with me
I'm on the floor
Come aw with me

Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh
Get nasty uh uh
Get nasty uh

Whoa-o-o-o-o
Whoa-o-oo-o
Whoa-o-o-o-o
Whoa-o-oo-o
Whoa-o-o-o-o
Whoa-o-oo-o
Whoa-o-o-o-o
Whoa-o-oo-o

(Now freak it)
(All the nasty girls around the world)
(Get nasty)
(All the nasty girls around the world)
All the nasty girls around the world
Around the world
That was some heavy shit... wow. You'll probably want to pause for a moment before continuing to read her personal poetry, which she so eloquently turns into song.
and, now... an excerpt from my personal favorite, "You Make Me Want To La La"
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la

You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la

Tattlebits

I seriously can't believe the depths of her ugliness

Overworked new mom Nicole finally takes a moment to herself to go to driving school (how many years does she have to go?!)

Sweaty old hag Madonna.
Hey, "MO-MO?" I saw your vid with Justin today, even though I've purposely been trying to avoid it, and you are really embarrassing yourself. You aren't "fat", but there are other things besides fat that make someone unattractive. Big rippling muscles, for example. Being sexually (trying to be, I should say) suggestive with someone young enough to be your grandson. Oh, and by the way, he's gay and an ugly freak. When your skin is the color, well it is no color, too white to even be called white. Nice legs! Let's call the color of your legs "doughboy pasty". Oh, other things that make you unattractive? Your fake concern for the country where you bought your son, and bullied the less fortunate into giving you your way. Your know-it-all "Oprah complex" where you feel entitled to rule the world! That you make sweat in your crotch when you exercise. That you announce at every opportunity that you hate fat people. That your only friend is a big, disgusting, loud mouthed, attention whore unfunny obnoxious nobody, who is fat, by the way, "RO-RO". Hope this helped, Julie

The most beautiful woman in the world!

Arnold is smokin' hot

espesh his brows!

John Mayer still has a huge head

Brit looking too happy yesterday

Lindsay and her man last night

Amy smells herself


One pathetic drunk and two beautiful women at The Rainforest Foundation benefit concert
Billy Joel, Christie Brinkley and their daughter, 22 year old Alexa

Jennifer Love Hewitt won an award for "Proudest Beach Body"

Anything to draw attention away from the size of his HEED

I hope and pray that Matt Damon's new look is for a movie

Who is "wearing" this ugly ass with the too tight jeans and the corny boots?

Skanky "Liho" with her husky lover, David Spade, I mean Samantha Ronson

Britney is buying a six million dollar mansion in Encino to be closer to her man, K-fed

So sickening and cheesy they both deserve to die a slow and torturous death

Larry King is not funny, annoying, boring beyond belief, pathetic, a corpse, and completely insane. Oh! and really really creepy. Look at his face!!!!!!!

Let's give one more nod to Dina for her mom of the year award.. love her nostrils

Ugly No Talent Skank Badmouths Britney

Well, there are a few instances where I have to take the Britster's side, and this is definitely one of them. Asslee Simpson, who can't sing and can't dance and is a moron, and is still ugly, even after more plastic surgeries than we can count, has made fun of Britney. WTF?!!

This skanky, ridiculous nobody, who doesn't have an ounce of talent, and is pregnant by an openly gay emo freak, and has had regular sex with her big fat obnoxious dad, called Britney "trashy." HOW DARE SHE. No, really. Britney's "trashyness" came from a mental illness, from being the biggest star in the world at a young age. Asslee has never been anything close to a "star" of ANY KIND, and is a nasty slutbag who got the idea from her Daddy that she was someone. Bad news, bitch, you are a JOKE. You can't even lip synche!

I was so furious when I heard this that I wanted to get Lynne Spears reaction, so she agreed to meet with me. I asked her if it would be alright if I took a photo of her as she learned what I had to tell her. She said Sure, so I told her what Asslee said:

Lynne said: "Britney is TRASHY??! Tell that dirty haired little whore that my baby was a sweet, honest, hard working girl until she fell ill, and she never had sex with her dad, that's for sure! My baby has more talent in her frappucino residue than that banana nosed bitch ever had in her entire pigeon toed body, and she better hope I never see her anywhere alone because I will rip her fake nose right off her face and stick it in her homo boyfriends butt!!"
Watch the video clip of Asslee calling Brit TRASHY here:
http://thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article1141801.ece#OTC-RSS&ATTR=Bizarre

Jessica is Jealous of Asslee

Meanwhile, Asslee Simpson and Pete Wentz are in France, and Jessica is jealous of Asslee

Jessica is embarrassing herself again, trying to force Tony into a proposal:
Jessica would love nothing more than to get married before Ashlee. It upsets her that her little sister will be married and she won’t. She gets jealous when Ash gets more attention . . . She’s been showing boyfriend Tony Romo rings in magazines. She tells him what she likes, and she does it right in front of his friends, too, so it’s really awkward. She been joking to friends that she should take Tony to Vegas, get him drunk and drag him to the Little White Wedding Chapel.
Asslee and Pete are said to be getting married Friday.

Asslee's Baby Daddy is Smokin' Hot

Pete Wentz is being sued by some dude that says he suffered “serious injuries to his head, mouth and face” after an unprovoked attack by Wentz at Schuba's Tavern in Chicago. Asslee Simpson sure is lucky to be marrying such a hunk.

Another Simpson Reality Show

No one cares, but rumor has it that ugly Asslee Simpson is married to her gay boyfriend Pete now. Here's the stringy haired loser last night in London.


And Papa Joe is at it again, trying to get them a "reality" show.

An inside source told press, “He knows that no one cared about Jessica before her reality show, and he’s hoping a show for Ashlee will have the same effect.”
"Nobody can whore out these losers like me," Papa Joe said proudly about his daughters.

Um, he forgot to say that no one cared about Jessica AFTER her reality show either, and she is nothing more than a trampy alcoholic and bad joke now. So good luck with these big careers.

It's Official

Pete Wentz and ASSlee are the most unattractive couple of the year. I can't believe his body. His shoes. He's all concave, like one of those drug addicts who only eats vegan! "Oh, I don't put starch and sugar in MY BODY and look how healthy I am, but I do heroin and I can hardly stand up because I'm a FREAK." Gross! And like those dudes on Jerry Springer that get them one of those thure dress up outfits backstage because all they've ever worn in their life is a pair of Wranglers and a Kmart shirt. In Pete's case, he usually wears ASSlee's leggings though. Nice pointed shoes, nice hair, I mean he's trying to LOOK GOOD.


They are both sickening, and that they are able to experience any level of "fame" finalizes the fact that there is no hope for this world.
They are both so intensely ugly. I love HOW HE STANDS, too. Their baby will be a mutation like this world has never seen.