Trailer For Major FLOP

As HORRIBLE as an actress I knew she was, I seriously can't believe how bad this trailer is for Jessica Simpson's new movie. I'm just speechless, it's so much worse than I even expected! You have to watch this! Especially the part when she says in a teeny baby voice, (the same one she uses with Poppa Joe)

"Can I pee first?" AND when she says, "Somebody needs an anger management course... and a BREATH MINT!" HER. LINES. HER. FACE. THE WAY SHE SAYS HER LINES. Her ridiculous JERKY body movements. She looks like she's having a seizure she's trying so hard to "act." It is THE WORST ACTING I've ever seen. A "remake" of Private Benjamin? Don't think so, Jess. Oh, and the other "star?" STEVE GUTTENBERG. I'm not kidding.

Oh my god, she has NO COMIC ABILITY whatsoever! No dramatic ability, no vocal talent. Her clothing line is tacky, her fragrance line stinks.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3faob_master_shortfilms

A Writer Defends Ellen's Scabbiness

Hey! Ellen looks like a man in real life!

While controversy continues to swirl over Ellen DeGeneres‘ decision to cross the picket line in the writer’s strike, one of her former writers is coming out in her defense.

She says:

“First, let me say that I wish that Ellen hadn’t crossed the picket lines. I wish that she would stop making new episodes in solidarity with her writers. I know she is under intense pressure from her affiliates and production companies. Her show is syndicated, and she faces challenges that her late night compatriots do not. But these are excuses and I cannot defend her actions against the strike.

But I can defend her character. And I feel that I must.

Ellen hired me to write for her talk show even though I had little experience. In fact, several of her writers got their start on her show. She’s not afraid to hire green writers. She certainly took a chance on me. She was always patient and supportive. I never felt like she was mad or disappointed when a first draft didn’t pop. In fact, she often told me she was proud of me. She always challenged me to write better jokes, encouraging me to “beat” a joke that didn’t pack a strong punch. She made me a better writer by not settling for average. And I am grateful.

Mini Me's From Worth 1000

Twin-i Me's

Fabio And Clooney To Appear On Cover of Romance Novel

from gallery of the absurd

Three Weekend Blind Items

This early twenties B list television heartthrob is already taking Viagra when he has sex with women. The reason? He's gay and it is the only way to get it up.

This B list singer/actress loved by teens was all smiles and giggles when taking photos with a bigger singer/actress, but stabbed her in the back repeatedly when talking to anyone who would listen. Our backstabber used the words fake, not talented, ugly as hell, and whore to describe the other singer/actress.

This A list film actor with A+ name recognition brought another woman home to the house he is currently sharing with his girlfriend. When the girlfriend balked at doing a 3some, the actor took his pickup upstairs and had sex with her all night. The girlfriend took the hint that she was no longer welcome, and has not been seen since with the actor despite the fact he always mentions her in interviews as his girlfriend.
source: crazydaysandnights

Hallmark's New Sympathy Card

Kate Had a "Make-out Session" With Orlando Bloom

While Owen Wilson may have been ready to die for her love, recent rumors tell that Kate Hudson may have her eyes (and lips) on another Hollywood hunk.

The Raising Helen actress, who was spotted out on Friday catching a flight at JFK, is now being connected to Pirates of the Caribbean actor Orlando Bloom.

Apparently, the pair got together at a party Hudson threw at her home in Pacific Palisades in late October.

An insider told OK! magazine, “Kate and Orlando were talking, drinking and laughing. Then they just started going at it. They made out for ages and looked like they were really enjoying themselves. They didn’t care who was watching.”

The source added, “After that first make-out session, they walked around and talked to everyone as a couple. They were inseparable for the rest of the night.

MAKE OUT SESSION? This souce is REALLY CORNY. What year are they from? Hey, is Kate leaving Amy Winehouse's house there? That looks just like her door, but I guess its JFK Airport.

Rihanna in Ireland

Rihanna is performing in Dublin, Ireland and the press and organizers there are complaining that she's a diva. She fully expects to have armed guards guide her through the Dublin traffic. I don't think that's so bad, but there is one thing I have a problem with. She looks beautiful, as always, but..Rihanna? Honey? Where's your red lipstick? That frosty pink sixties hooker stuff? It's throwin' off your whole look, sweetie!

Unfitney Can't Get Out Of This Car Either

She should have gotten herself a souped up Ford F50 or something, ad a real loud muffler. She gets some fast sports car that she doesn't know how to drive, doesn't reach the drive thru windows at Del Taco, AND she can't get out of it! Those car seats will go in real easy too in that 2 door, dumbass. Oh, that's right, you don't have any kids. Say...Brit? You're not sporty, sexy or cool in your new car.

Also for your enjoyment, Britney pretends she's not picking her nose. Watch for a huge music industry scandal that might involve Britney.

Sorry.

It's a real slow news day, so I bring you the ultra sexy Pauly Shore on Maui Beach.

Is Britney PREGNANT?

Sam Lufti, Britney's constant companion. Gross.



For most of us, being in a baby boutique wouldn't mean we were pregnant. Being bloated wouldn't mean that we were pregnant either. But when Britney, who is bloated AND in a baby store, looking at items for LITTLE, like new babies... Also, she laughs when friends ask if she is being "safe", she just says "Oh, it's just casual sex."

Famous For Binge Drinking

This is Samantha Jenkins, and she has recently become "famous" for posting her drunken binges on Facebook. UGH.

Pete Shows Up In Court To Support Amy

Pete arrives in court to show Amy his support

Blake is led away to jail, where he deserves and belongs

Pete Doherty lent Amy his support as tearful Amy watches husband being led away to jail.
Distraught Amy Winehouse mouthed "I love you" as her husband Blake Fielder-Civil was led away from court and remanded in custody this morning.

Babyshambles front man Pete Doherty, who has himself appeared at Thames Magistrates' Court, was also in the public gallery for part of Fielder-Civil's hearing, to lend support to Amy, who he used to date.

Clooney and Zelwegger Unplugged

STARS! They're Just Like Us: They HATE TOM CRUISE

Robert Redford and Meryl Streep didn't show up to the American Museum of Moving Image's tribute to Tom Cruise the other night and FoxNews reports it's because they can't stand his grinning and his boring stories. They say the sight of his grin sends them reeling.

A source said, "Meryl and Bob can’t stand Tom. In London, Tom kept trying to push himself into interviews. Bob said, 'No.' Tom wouldn’t listen. Meryl has done almost nothing for the movie. She wants nothing to do with him."

He won't stop trying to pal around with Bob and Meryl. Anyone can see they are less than interested. They think he's a scary freak, and are sorry they made the movie with him. Oh, yeah, and the reviews are bad. Straight to video bad.

Brad and Angelina Might Buy Neverland

Or, it could be a "clever ploy" by Michael Jackson to start a bidding war on the moldy old ranch which is haunted by the screams of all the "little children" who shared his stained old broken down bed.
Neverland is in foreclosure and Michael needs 23 million and fast! Would Brad and Angie really want this place? GROSS. Well it's a rumour that they think it would be perfect for their kids. 55 "Employees" still live there, but aren't paid. Can you imagine the stench! All the sick animals who they can't afford to feed, and all those sweaty, hungry, employees? What do they do there, ride the rides?

She Doesn't Miss You

Fun Flashback to Whitney's Drug Den!

The Way She Stands! Her Face!

I really hate Rumer Willis. I know that I really do. It's like I know I hate mustard, and I hate people that ask me how do you know? Um... the SMELL. The way it looks, the color, that I have accidentally tasted it for a second when McDonalds ruined my PLAIN Double cheeseburgers.

Anyway, the way she poses like she's SO COOL and such a fashion icon, and the EXPRESSIONS on her face, the desperate attempt as she STRAINS to believe she's sexy. Wait, no.. she believes it! She actually does! And HER FACE! Oh my god, please go away, quit posing. The way she's STANDING.

Owen's Big Soccer Game

Owen Wilson is still "dating" (having sex with) Jessica Simpson. Here, he has the time of his life playing soccer alone in Los Angeles yesterday.

OH MY GOD.

HIS. FINGER. GROSS! What is he doing?! Look at Larry pretending to "get down"


So here is 50 year old Michael Jackson, making some gay old man "I'm having fun and getting down really hard" hand gestures, and 150 year old Larry King wondering why he's there and who he is. He's pretending to sing. I think they must be at the Ebony Magazine Party, where Michael was "celebrating" 25 years since Thriller. Oh my god, his FINGER!!!

Brittany Still Married To Fug

Brittany Murphy has been married to Simon Monjack for almost 6-months now and I'm surprised. So what if he's fat, but he's a known thief and con man, and like 20 years older than her. Fug Deluxe! She's still trying to do those cutsie poses with her leg up like she did with Ashton Kutcher in that gay movie they did, and it's not working, not cute, sad.

Britney Runs Red Light, Almost Crashes, Doesn't Notice

This is Brit running the red light. She's orderin' a pizza, y'all!

Britney Spears blew right through a red light at a notoriously dangerous intersection last night, with her kids in the back and a court-appointed monitor crouched down in the front. Paging K-Fed's attorney!

The Bloated acne face approached the light slowly on Coldwater Canyon in Los Angeles. You then see Britney raise her cellphone to her face. It is unclear if she's texting or making a call. She then drives into the intersection as someone outside the car screams, "Red light, red light!" Britney then turns left onto Mulholland Drive, managing to miss oncoming traffic.

The judge has made it clear that he has issues with Britney's driving. L.A. County Commish Scott Gordon temporarily revoked her visitation rights because she was driving without a valid California license.

The judge ordered her to get a cell phone that is strictly for the use of the drug testers, since they have been unable to reach her 8 out of 14 times, meaning she's failed eight tests. Her excuse? She needs her sleep, y'all! Doin' drugs is exhausting! Like she's going to be driving around late at night with the kids ANYWAY!

Conan Chilled With His Stalker!

Celeb Slam found this pic of Conan having a chat and a martini with his creepy stalker, that Catholic priest dude. He is still being held without bail for stalking Conan and Conan's parents, and threatening to kill him if Conan didn't give him a "spot on his couch."

Sally's Hot!

For NINETEEN seasons, Sally Jessy Raphael was the queen of the talk show. Her beauty now faded, Ha! Ha! she is forced to do a radio talk show, as no one can bear to look at her.

Hey, Sally? No offense or anything, I mean everyone can't be a beauty queen, but you might want to look into a good bronzer.