Lose The Tude, Fatty

Bad news, Fatso, you don't own Italy/ look at her. stance. Like she owns the world, ugh. Like she's so great. Hasn't anyone told her that big blubbery chicks don't wear white?

Get over yourself, "O", WE HAVE.

Fatso Oprah Piles on the Pounds... AGAIN

Oprah shows off several chins as she enjoys her Italian holiday

Following a brief trip to Britain, where she attended Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party, the famous fatty flew to Italy for a well-earned break.

Joined by secret lover Gayle King, the 54-year-old has been enjoying the sights of picturesque Portofino, one of this summer's most popular celeb hotspots.

Yummy: Oprah enjoys a tasty treat as she relaxes with Gayle King, her lesbo companion

After browsing local shops and signing autographs for fans, a relaxed Oprah enjoyed some alfresco dining as she sipped a drink and munched on olives while chatting with Gayle.

Fatso kiss-ass enjoys a cruise in Portofino's harbour

Oprah Shows off Her Bunion

Oprah took off her heels after the Mandela party in London last night and proudly showed off her yummy bunion

Oprah's pain was evident, as her bunion was flaring up all night!

Cruise's Have a Tent Warming Party

In keeping with their tradition of acting like they are in their seventies, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a BORING housewarming party, and the sounds of HORNS from the BIG BAND music that played loudly at their old people party was said to "pierce the night air." Wow, that sounds fun. Ever heard of normal music? Some Counting Crows or Tool maybe? LOSERS.
Kirstie Alley and her daughter were there

J.Lo was there, but Marc had to babysit

Big fat bitchy know-it-all kiss ass Oprah was there with her husband Gayle


Brooke Shields and her psycho hubby went too, wow these people really look fun. UGH Can you imagine? J.Lo what a bitch, and Oprah, their EGOS!!! and Tom's too. What did they do/talk about? How cool they all think they are, and how much their stuff costs.

Sick, they are "too cool" to have the party in their house!! Even though it's a housewarming party, they had it in a tent!! They must not have had enough room in their house...

What Will It Take To Put Oprah Out Of Her Misery?

or I should say out of OUR misery. This is why I can't watch Oprah, and haven't been able to for years. Just the way she announces her guests with such BRAVADO and smugness makes me sick. EX: "TEEEEE-NAH!!!! TURNERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!" "JOHN TRAH!!!!!! VOLTAAAAAAA!!!" Then, she used to stand in the front row when some performer would be doing their song, and she'd be wildly clapping, never TO THE MUSIC, mind you, just clapping, trying to dance, pretending to know the words, (she NEVER DID) because, if you saw her trip with Gayle, you know she hates ALL MUSIC and refuses to listen to any of it.

Okay, so the standing in the front row thing gave me chills, just so humiliating to watch but now this fat dumpy big mouthed egomaniac has to go ON STAGE with Cher and Tina Turner, like ANYONE wants to see her up there UGH
and if her being up there wasn't bad enough, now that retarded Gayle has to go up on stage and march like some kind of a moron, Oprah has to make sure that she has all the attention at all times, so she angrily warned Gayle to stop with all her cool marching.
What is she pointing at! "Look at me, studio audience, who kisses my ass! I'm on TV dancing with Cher and Tina Turner because it's my show and I can do what I want! I don't care how much of a freak everyone knows I am!"

Four Minutes of the Biggest Ass Kissing Session You've EVER SEEN

The ass kissing that takes place in Oprah's arrival ALONE makes me sick. Oh, so f**king fake and stomach churning. And Tom pretending to think Oprah looks beautiful. And Kate saying "I love you" over and over to Tom, like her chip malfunctioned! UGH. Kate reveals that they "roast hotdogs." You can tell she's not used to speaking without being told what to say, because she just repeats what Oprah says! (when talking about their driveway: "It's like... nothing I've ever seen before")

Oprah cannot shut up for even a second! She is so afraid of offending the tiny one! I can't believe his house was big enough for both of their ego's! And I love how fast Katie disappears! Teeny probly said "Say hello, bitch, and then get the hell out, I don't want you saying anything stupid!"

Nervous and retarded Oprah says about Tom's kitchen: "It's so... kitchen-like" , then, Tom brags how he looked "all over America" to find his home and when Oprah tells Tom how her "heart palpitated over the beauty of his home, the intensity when he looks over at Oprah and says "Yeah. It's the same for us," gave me a chill! He's clearly not human.

"Look at Us! Don't You Wish You Could Be As Cool As Us?!"

Tom needed new shocks on his motorcycle after taking potato pancakes for a spin. Too bad the two of them didn't go off the edge of a cliff, they are the most repulsive egomaniacs on earth. She thinks she's God and he believes he is the leader of the new galaxy. UGH.

Only two more days until the big kiss ass interview, but I'll be watching anyway. I haven't watched Oprah for years, her self righteous smugness turns my stomach, but I will make an exception for this. She won't ask a single tough or real question, but we'll still get to see that flicker of pure insanity in his eyes when he rambles on about Scientology, and we'll watch his acting skills go into overdrive when he speaks of his "love" for the towering robot girl.

Let The Ass Kissing Begin

Don't forget to watch Friday's Oprah! Of course, she won't "ask the tough questions," as she pretends she will, because if she did, do you really think Teeny would be smiling at her in the scary way that only he can? Tough questions, my ass. Here, why doesn't she ask him MY QUESTIONS?

1. Do you really believe you can move objects with your mind?
2. Do you have 4 inch lifts built into all of your shoes, or just some of them?
3. Is it true you never have sex with any of your wives?
4. Do you really believe that you are not human, but, in fact, a part of this new homo-novis race?
5. Why doesn't your mother, Mary Lee, get her big rotten horse teeth fixed?
6. Who is Suri's real biological father, I mean, come on, we know she isn't yours!
7. Have you and John Travolta ever had sex?
8. Are you in love with David Beckham?
9. Do you think people really believe that you AREN'T gay?
10. Do you really claim to be able to cure people of any disease by looking at them?

Tom and Oprah: Reunited At Last

First, big, fat O will travel to Telluride for an in-depth interview with the intense, dwarf-like homonovis. Then the wacky duo will head to Oprah's studio in Chicago where friends will "surprise" the tiny freak with taped messages that will talk about how great he is.

Snoop Doesn't Like Oprah

Snoop Dogg has shot back at bitch Oprah after she called him a misogynist, assuming he wouldn't know what it meant.

But silver tongued Snoop said, "I don't like her no more. I really was offended, because she got that fat thing goin' on and I never hated. I'm very articulate, very intellectual. She didn't even get a chance to even know me."

He said his new work "is for the women" and that he wants to " give the ladies something, because I've been so mean and so rude."

To begin to make amends to women everywhere, Snoop will serve as the master of ceremonies for the "BunnyMania Lumberjack Match" at this year's Wrestlemania. In the match, four partially nude women will roll around the floor with each other with stuff falling out.

Drew Spends a Cool Mill on "PORRIDGE"

Drew Barrymore appeared on The God Show yesterday, and announced that she's donating one million dollars of her own money to the World Food Program to feed starving children in Kenya, and brought a gigantic check that no one can cash. Those things should be cashable. In a statement, Drew says:

"I have seen with my own eyes what a difference a simple cup of nutritious porridge can make in a child's life. It helps them learn, stay healthy and sets them on track for a bright future."

Porridge? WTF is that? Did she just see the movie Oliver Twist or something?
If I were a starving kid from Kenya, I'd tell her no thanks on the porridge, get me the hell out of here.

Oprah's Not a Lesbian

I believe her. She's one of those self-sexuals, (I made that up, could you tell) that's only in love with and has sex with herself. She claims she's never kissed a woman. Why does anyone need to claim that? Who would even think of it if they weren't a lesbian? It's not like anyone had the guts to ask the almighty powerful "O" if she ever had. Yes, I barely need any excuse at all to drag this pic out either.

Forbes Top Ten Richest Black Celebrities

Oprah Winfrey - $260 Million
Tiger Woods - $100 Million
Jay-Z - $83 Million
50 Cent - $33 Million
Kobe Bryant - $33 Million
Shaq - $32 Million
Michael Jordan - $31 Million
Will Smith - $31 Million
Beyonce - $27 Million
Lebron James - $27 Million (who is he?)

Just What We Need: MORE Oprah!

FINALLY! The world asks for more Oprah and here we go! Who needs regular TV when Oprah is starting her own channel on the You Tube? You can see Oprah explaining about her new channel on Youtube! Because everybody loves Oprah.

1) Oprah pretends to not know exactly how long her show has been on the air, making sure to appear like she’s thinking about it hard before saying “22 years”.

2) The channel will be called “Hey What About Oprah’s Channel”; it’s so damn casual, you can just show up and hang out in shorts and a t-shirt, and sit on a bean bag chair (not expressly stated, but inferred from her tone of voice).

3) The channel will feature garbage quality video of nothing in particular taken on Oprah’s digital camera.

4) Oprah has a fake elaborate studio with a whole bunch of monitors in it, even though her “Youtube Channel” clearly consists of just one intern with a laptop trying to keep out of peoples’ way in the break room.
source: bestweekever

Perfect, God-like Oprah Hired Molester To Teach at HER Girl's School

Oprah Winfrey has reportedly issued an apology to the parents and students at her school in South Africa after allegations of sexual abuse took place there. The school is under investigation by the South African police as well as U.S. investigators according to the New York Daily News. Earlier this month, a staff member was removed by child protection officers due to claims of misconduct.

Oprah said:

"I've disappointed you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Oprah isn't sorry, she's pissed! HOW DARE anyone molest and make her look bad!

Celebs We'd Like To See In Jail

Rosie O'Donnell is a glue sniffer!




source: Worth 1000

If Oprah Were Samuel L. Jackson

worth 1000

Celebs Without Retouching

Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson

Cameron Diaz

Oprah

Lindsay Lohan

images: worth 1000

Seal Reunited With Family on Oprah Show

Seal reunites with his foster sister, Hilary

Oprah Kept shouting, "I DID IT!!!" to take credit for Seal's reunion
Seal with his foster family, The Scoolings

Singer Seal broke down in tears as he was reunited with his long-lost foster sister on The Oprah Show.

The 44-year-old musician sobbed after Oprah contacted his Essex foster family and flew one of them, Hilary, to Chicago to meet him.

His wife Heidi Klum said on the show: "Every time when we talk about when he was a little boy he had no memory."

Seal, a triple Grammy Award winner, went to live with the Scooling family in Romford shortly after he was born in February 1963. He remained with his foster parents and four foster siblings until he was four, then he returned to his biological mother.

Seal listened in amazement as Oprah played a film the family had recorded.

His foster sisters and brothers, who knew the singer as Henry, revisited the house in Romford where they grew up and reminisced about their lost brother.
"Wherever we went, he was always there," sister Hilary said.

"It was just like being a brother to us and that was it. He was another addition to our family. We never treated him any different."

The family said they remembered playing with Henry on the seesaw, pushing him around in a buggy and playing in the garden. They described him as "well-liked" and said children up the road used to visit him all the time.

Hilary said she was devastated when their mother told them Seal was going back to his biological parents.

The Kiss From a Rose singer said he had never found his foster family - until his wife tracked them down last year for a birthday surprise.

"On my birthday last year, Heidi was in Germany with the kids and she said 'I've got this thing, this surprise - I've got to tell you for your birthday'," he told Oprah.

"I said 'What is it?' and she said 'I think I've found your parents'.
source: Dailymail

Oprah Destined for a Life of Morbid Obesity

First, she blames her thyroid on her weight! Oh, the great and powerful Oprah, the all knowing sooth sayer of nothing. Now she'll have surgery to remove some fat. But bad news, "O". You'll be rich, you'll have "power." But you will ALWAYS, No MATTER WHAT, be a great big FATSO! Ha! Ha! LOL!

And could Matt Lauer's wife be ANY UGLIER!