Britney Gives Her Son Nightmares

Her worst sunglasses yet




Britney is refusing to attend Jamie Lynn's wedding - as payback for the way she announced her pregnancy last year.

Jamie Lynn - along with her mom, Lynne - announced the pregnancy in OK Magazine, in a deal widely reported to have been worth at least $1m.

Jamie is planning to marry her hillbilly boyfriend Casey Aldridge before her baby is born in June. The marriage will not last even two years.

“When Jamie Lynn asked Brit to be maid of honor, Britney laughed sarcastically . She told her hell would freeze over before she’d stand as her maid of honor, then hung up on her,” said a source close to the Spears family.

Britney was furious that she found out about her sister’s pregnancy via the press - and was devastated that she was the last to know.
"She just wants her famous sister at her wedding, she doesn't care about me, and I'm not going," the fresh faced songstress screeched.

Brit's bodyguard is a riot. He yells, "F**k Off!" to the paparazzi and he and Britney yell at eachother. She yelled at him "You're f-in screamin' in my ear!" LOL!


And also, according to Page Six, Britney Spears’ two year old son Sean recently began sleeping with K- FAT every night because he’s suffering from nightmares, and seems to be having separation anxiety. Sean reportedly cries for K-FAT when Britney takes him for brief visits.

Britney’s dad, Jamie, stays with the boys during visits with their mother in an effort to make the time more comfortable. A psychiatrist is also on hand for Britney’s scheduled visitation time with Sean and younger brother Jayden .
A source said she still treats her boys them more like dolls than children.

“She likes to show them off, but not give them the nurturing they need."

K-FAT is WELL-FED

K-Fat's ex, big mouth kiss-ass Shar Jackson,has come to his defense about his recent weight gain, saying that he's just being a good father.
Shar told US magazine, "It's daddy weight! When you are a full time parent, sometimes you can't focus on you. If gaining a few pounds is your only problem, life's not too bad!"

Federline's representative also had something to say about the earth-shattering news of K-Fed's porking up, "He's a stay-at-home dad, and people tend to gain weight when they are home with the kids. He's very happy with the way he looks." LOL! LIKE HE IS VERY HAPPY with how he looks!

Amy's New Party Trick

Amy "shocked onlookers" (really? how could she top putting the ciggie out on her cheek?) when she nasally inhaled 100 proof vodka through a straw while partying with friends including Kelly Osbourne, Mark Ronson andKimberly Stewart at London's Bungalow 8 club on Wednesday night.
Amy on her way to Bungalow 8 Wednesday

A source said: "Somebody had brought over 20 shots to Amy's table and she
decided to show off her new party trick.

"She necked the top of the shot and lit the rest with a lighter. Then she
grabbed a straw and sucked what was left up her nose."Amy threw back her head and reeled in shock and everyone around her looked stunned."

Doctors have warned Amy's party trick, known as a Gas Chamber, could be lethal, "Oh I'm sure she'll stop then.

OMG GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!

Justin Timberlake is developing a comedy for NBC entitled “My Problem With Women.” The show will center around a bachelor named J.T. who’s having trouble finding time to watch tv in between f**king eight women a day. Okay I'm going to be sick. His "problem with women" is that he's GAY, and a raging ass. I've got 7 words for you: hillbilly trash had sex with Lou Perlman.

Blind Item

This married A list film actress by name, but with a body of work that makes her B list, unless of course we are talking about her actual body, then it might be a B+ spent most of her time at a charity event and a store opening away from all her fans. Even though she was being paid big bucks to attend each event, she spent most of the evening doing line after line with her "assistant" who is a good looking guy, but doesn't speak English or appear to do anything but keep our actress company.

Tattlebits

I should have married Sting when I had the chance

You're just Jenny from the block, alright. I don't care WHAT year it was. NICE HAIR, NICE JEANS. UGH.

Remember when Madonna was a woman? A boytoy? A material girl?


Pregnant Gwen Stefani took Kingston to his Grandma's house today in L.A. On Monday, Gwen will be taking little Kingston to the dr. to have his pacifier surgically removed from his mouth, as it has fused to his face

I am so sickened by this talentless skank already. Let's hope she's not spinning Lohan Holiday on there


"Jen's pain" is my pain

Paris loves her ugly face

Fun flashback! Katie's pregnancy

Cracked up Courtney, part time lesbian, with her new lover, "Dirty Harry"



The irresistible charm of Sam Lufti

Do you think rehab worked for Amy?

Why won't Madonna let Lourdes be pretty?

Two questions: Does Zahara ever grow, and can she walk?

Lindsay with her on again, off again smug punk lesbian lover, Samantha Ronson

Chris Brown and Rihana at Fashion Week in Paris

Lauren Conrad wearing the sickest shoes I've ever seen, and I have seen them, back in 1975


Kelly Clarkson is overdoing it a little..is her song really that cool?

Bret Michaels is old and corny

Michael Lohan, Man of God, "mugs" for the camera in NYC


Paris studies the strange growths on her chest, which were not there before

WE MUST STOP J. LO! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

J, LO, (yep, no one will ever stop calling you J.Lo you hairy freak.) scored a $6 million deal to debut her frightening twins on the cover of People Magazine. In addition to the outrageous sum of money, J.LO threw in extra DEMANDS that the magazine had to agree to abide by. Chief among them: People would no longer be allowed to refer to her as “JLo.” Also, that no one refer to Marc as "Skeletor!"
Bitch also demanded that her husband, Skeletor, shoot the photos for the People spread. Since when is Skeletor a photographer? PLEASE.

Six million for pics of those hairy little mutants, and if you've see the two of them you know there's no possible way they could even look slightly cute. This ridiculous, vulgar snob is out of control, making demands when she's being paid this much.WE MUST STOP HER! We have the power!

Remember what happened to my beloved Bee Gees when everybody blamed disco onto them? Gather your J. Lo and Marc Anthony albums!


Then get all of your J.Lo movies! Burn them now!



WHO do they think they are?! NO, REALLY!! LOOK AT THEIR "Body of work!" Where did she ever get the idea that she was even remotely cool? Her mom Guadalupe? Get the hook for this ho, I hope her People sells way less than Christina's. I wish no one would buy a single copy. Let's all not buy People magazine! Who cares about those freaks, we'll see the pics here! Go back to the Bronx, you fugly losers. When is the last time you did anything worth remembering? Oh, yeah, it was the first and only thing, Selena.

Lisa Marie Defends Herself

The Lockwoods are pregnant

My friend Lisa Marie posted this bulletin on her Myspace blog:
Thursday, March 06, 2008

Confirmation under the gun.

After being the target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures (Sorry, Lisa.. but the pics are not manipulated.. thats what you look like dude. But enjoy your pregnancy!) and articles in the media, I have had to show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant.
Once they got a glimpse of my expanding physique a few days ago, they have been like a pack of coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight.(Oh yes1 They were shocking and delightful, I must admit) Starting with a London publication and then New York and Chicago all writing false defamatory degrading stories about all of the dark possible reasons I could be putting on weight. The US tabloids have been calling all day wanting confirmation on all kinds of insane theories.
They couldn't wait to find out if my weight gain was because I was just overeating, in which case It would be open season and they can do the old following in her fathers sad and unfortunate demise story again(well?) or less interesting for them and probably much to their dismay, I could just be pregnant and therefore have a legitimate reason for weight gain at which point they should probably wipe the saliva off of their fangs and put them back in their mouths or they may expose the black little souls that they are. (Oh, come on where's your sense of H!)
Now that things are confirmed, hopefully they can stop all of the harassment and I can stop dodging the continuous bullets.
It is unfortunate that I couldn't have announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made us so incredibly happy under better circumstances.
How they have handled themselves with this has been nothing short of irresponsible and disgusting.
Pardon my seething contemptuous tone but ladies, You KNOW if you were pregnant and you felt you were expanding uncontrollably by the moment as a result and the worldwide media started badgering and harassing you for it, plastering you everywhere in an unflattering light, you would be mortified as well.(my advice then, would be to stay home, put your hooves up and barbeque)

Sincerely,
~LMP