was really just a staged prank that she was in on for Ashton’s upcoming show, in which he fools the paps and the gossip media by planting fake stories.
Yeah he fooled us but one problem... it wasn't funny. It was just sickening, because Paris is sickening, and so is he. Oh hahahahah!!!! Wow, Ashton that's a really fresh, unique concept! Wait... it seems familiar. Because it's just Punk'd all over again, except the joke is on us, because you're so clever. This arrogant farmer isn't really fooling anyone,and many of us know the truth about his arrangement with his trailer trash fugly old wife too.
He says he’s doing it because the gossip press is “a feeding frenzy,” and it's damaging to everyone. That's not you in Ted Casablanca's column The Awful Truth, is it honey? You know,
"Terribly shy and certainly not out, this lad is. Kinda dorky, too. The real joke is his "marriage."
It’s that Chumpy, known for his lovable character work on the boob-tube, had never before had sex with a dude, though he’d always been curious."
so happy
How about this? "From Page Six: Which aging Hollywood star likes to make sure her much younger husband isn’t straying by spending all day with him on set? Her tactic seems to be working — after recently spending 45 minutes together in his trailer, they both emerged with smiling faces. But it's not the women she should be worried about"
He's not rehashing Punk'd for the 10th time because Demi Gene wants him to have a job, and he needs the money because whoops! His "acting career" never took off. I know all about Ashton. Maybe someone should do a story on who he really is, and how he got to Hollywood. Now THAT would be funny, not this childish show he keeps changing the name of and doing over and over again. Maybe I will.
Why don't you do a really funny show that takes place only ten years ago, and you were a college dropout, donating blood and sweeping up Cheerio dust at the General Mills Plant in Cedar Rapids, Iowa for $8 an hour. You didn't really get your start as a Calvin Klein underwear model, did you? It's not as if you had or have any real talent. And you would have done anything to get away from that poverty stricken backwoods hillbilly lifestyle,and it is nice to know that there just might be life after gay porn after all. And you may have gone back into hick obscurity if it weren't for a stupid little movie.
But then you saw a way out, and her name was Demi Gene Guynes. Lonely, old, and desperate, and you saw your chance. But it was a deal you made with the devil, wasn't it?
His new show is called Pop Fiction and will cover the way that the ingenious Ashton manipulated the media to report specific stories. In fact they’re trying to keep it under wraps because there are stories already out there that are completely made up by Ashton and his celebrity friends. What celebrity friends? Bruce Willis? No, really, what celebrity friends does that hillbilly Demi Gene allow him to have? He's not out of her sight, even when he's "working."
This isn't you, is it Ash?
WHICH too-good-to-be-real Hollywood leading man and his hard-bodied wife deserve Oscars for their portrayal of a perfect marriage? They both have secret lives with members of the same sex?"
"I suppose the basis for their relationship is that age doesn't matter to him, and size doesn't matter to her." (Brittany Murphy,
to David Letterman, on ex-boyfriend Ashton Kutcher's relationship with Demi Moore)
