Elton John Thinks He's A Doctor

Elton John, who has successfully battled his own demons is concerned about Britney. Sources claim Elton has offered Britney a private place to stay, away from the paparazzi who hound her.

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“Elton has been watching Britney spiraling out of control over the past few years. “He has decided enough is enough and reckons he has plenty of experience in the business to help her. He feels so sorry for her because she had fame at such a young age and hasn’t handled it well.”

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It is not the first time Elton has offered his support to a fellow star. He believes he understand fellow addicts because he has suffered from alcohol and drug addiction in the past.

In 1997, Elton and his partner David Furnish “kidnapped” Robbie Williams to take him to rehab after he binged on heroin, cocaine and ecstasy.

Elton also offered troubled star Amy Winehouse the use of his spiraling mansion after her recent drugs overdose.

Sweet shoes by the way

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That's nice Eltie, but Britney's true source of insanity comes from within her own brain. Drugs compound he problems, but I don't think you're equipped to cure schizophrenia and bi-polarism! Nice thought though. See, even though Britney is taking her medication and being watched every moment, though she is better, she's still clearly not "normal," and never will be.

Catfight! Elton Plots Revenge on Old Hags, Madonna and Demietrie

With Vanity Fair canceling their annual party, Elton's bash was poised to be THE party of the Academy Awards this year. Then, bitches Madonna and Demietrie got their botoxed heads together and decided to have their own party.

Whoops...they forgot that no one likes them. Don't worry, Elton. Who wants to go to those two old hags party?
Elton called Madonna a "boring, lip synching old cow"

Madonna called Elton a "silly old Queen"

When Elton heard that she was trying to invite his guests to her party, he vowed to destroy her

"I'll take that bitch out! Nobody messes with Elton Hercules John!" he roared

Madonna and Demietrie are inviting all four of their friends

Elton was furious that Madonna decided to throw a last minute Oscar party. Madonna got together with Demetrie Gene Guynes, and they are having an old people party with a bunch of Kabbalah-ites. Sounds fun! There won't be anything good to eat either.

Rosie O'Donnell will invite herself


Elton and David are having mini cheeseburgers, barbequed smokies, 600 pizza's, and Wolfgang Puck serving poolside


Trust, E., you have nothing to worry about. The gays are WAY MORE FUN!
Elton has always been the life of any party.. forty years and still going strong!


Elton is always on the cutting edge of fashion

He gave an interview and said Madonna was crude, vulgar, and full of shit

They got into a shoving match backstage at Live 8 Concert

Madonna knocked Elton's glasses off and threw him down with her bulging muscles!

Elton and David give great parties, and have fun, cool friends.


Demietrie Gene and Madonna have very few friends because they are boring, self centered bitches.
The guests who will be at Madonna/Demi's party: (UGH)
Demetrie's ex, Bald asshole Bruce

Disgusting pig Rosie

Madonna's BITCH BFF Gwyneth

and everybody knows how much FUN they are!
Madonna wants to get with Ashton, who is nothing more than a scruffy, stinky, corny Iowa farm boy

Really, Madonna and Demetrie! They'd be bossing their worm husbands around,
shouting orders and demands at everyone, it will be all about them and their religion. So first, you get to the party, oh and you are only allowed to wear white.
Old hag Demietrie keeps a firm grip on Ashton, who just loves old people and Kabbalah!

Then, you'll be expected to pray to the Koran or whoever, and listen to Madonna berate you to give money. Then you'll have to talk about adopting kids from Africa, and give money for that too, followed by three hours of vigorous exercise with a yoga warm down.

Meanwhile you know there won't be a damn thing to eat, and only Kabbalah water to drink!
Gwyneth told Madonna she'd loan her a health conscious vegan caterer, because look how healthy and happy Gwyneth is!

Madonna's music blasting! And Papa Don't Preach will be on repeat. I don't have to tell you which party I'll be at.
The husband and husband share a gentle moment

Elton and his husband David have the best parties!

Madonna will expect everyone to exercise, and like that slob Rosie has ever exercised once in her life

God, He's SWEET

Here's the "Art" Photo That Elton is in Trouble For

Elton owns the largest collection of 20th century photography in the world and he has his own gallery. People, including Elton John, say this photo, titled “Klara and Edda Belly-Dancing,” by well known photographer, Nan Goldin, is art. Not child porn, art. Hmm. Sorry, I think it's child porn. I covered up that little girl because I think it's just sick. I also think it's not even a good photograph, it quite sucks, so calling it art is offensive to me. I mean it looks like it's taken with a Kodak instamatic, (which was once my most prized possession) are you kidding me? Like this is artful in any way, I wonder what he paid for this!
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Elton Being Investigated for Child Porn: Leave Him Alone!

Sir Elton John is facing an investigation of child pornography after a photograph he donated to an art exhibition was deemed questionable.

The Baltic Centre For Contemporary Art in Gateshead, England has pulled the photo from the show a day before the exhibition is due to start. The picture is one of 4,000 pictures used in the Sir Elton John Photographic Collection.

The photo depicts two young girls in a provocative situation. (With their legs spread) The photograph was shot by Nan Godin, (She's a WOMAN, and she took the picture, so TALK TO HER!) a famed photographer. Hello, everyone? Elton is a happily married man, to a man, who does not like girls.

Police are looking into if the gallery has broken the law for using the picture and are also interested in “who owns it”.

Give me a break! I know Elton, and trust me, he's not into kids in any way. He donates an expensive photograph that SOMEONE ELSE TOOK, and that HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT, and now HE'S BEING INVESTIGATED??

Elton Wants to Save Britney

Elton John, who holds the world record for doing the most cocaine,( one big line every seven minutes from 1973 through 1989) has offered Britney a place to stay in order to get her life together and separate her from the ever present paparazzi.

One source said, “Elton has been watching Britney spiraling out of control over the past few years. He has decided enough is enough and knows he has plenty of experience in the business to help her. He feels so sorry for her because she had fame at such a young age and hasn’t handled it well.”