"I'm Sick, But in a GOOD WAY"

Britney Spears’ crazy British Lady personality was in full-effect last night. During her usual late night jaunt to a gas station and a Rite-Aid (every single night, dude), photographers asked Britney what she thought about the death of Heath Ledger.

Britney replied in her new Chinese accent, “He’s still here. Oh, yes. No one ever really dies. No one.”

When asked by photographers what she was doing at the drugstore, the freak replied that she was sick.

“I’m already very sick, but in a good way,” she said.
When quizzed on the whereabouts of her gross man, Adnan Ghalib, she replied, “Who’s that?”

Drugs are Yummy

A RECORD label boss used shock tactics to prove to Amy that she has a serious drug problem.
He presented Amy with a huge collection of articles with her hideous pics from around the world documenting her downfall.
A source at Universal Music Group said: “Lucian got his international marketing manager to find and copy every piece of press from around the world. It took the guy two days.
“Lucian then laid everything out in his huge office and summoned Amy. He told her to have a good look, then tell him she hasn’t got a problem with drugs. When she saw The Tattlebuzz blog, it finally convinced her.

Amy is now under psychiatric surveillance in a central London hospital after checking in to the clinic on Thursday night.

Katie Already Pregnant WHEN SHE MET TOM

According to the National Enquirer, Katie Holmes was already pregnant before she even met Tom Cruise. The father of Suri, is Chris Klein.
The Enquirer source said that Chris Klein told him Holmes was pregnant and that Chris was the father. The source passed a lie detector test and had this to say to the Enquirer:

“We were having dinner at Cafeteria, a restaurant in NY’s Chelsea district, when Chris blurted out ‘Dude, you know I got Katie preggers.’
Preggers?? WTF? Who says that?

“There was a long silence. I realized Chris had said more than he intended. My next thought was: 'What happened to the baby?'”

Why didn't Chris want to say anything? If he got paid off, he didn't get much because he is not exactly living large. Further, if promises were made to help his career, then he should get on the phone pretty quick because his career is fading away almost as fast as Katie's.

"Chris never brought it up again, but I know he must be reminded of Katie’s pregnancy every time he sees their daughter.” ...you THINK?
crazydaysandnights

OH!... THAT'S Who She Reminds Me Of!

"I'm real. People can relate to me. They see things that have happened in my life. And I'm sweet. I feel that when you truly are a good person, it will shine through in your eyes - shine through from your heart to your eyes - and people will see that. Princess Diana, who I love, she had that." Paris Hilton

Kathleen Talks Smack, Nic Fights Back

Nic and Kathleen in "Peggy Sue Got Married"

Kathleen then and now.. she's hardly changed at all!

Kathleen Turner's autobiography "Send Yourself Roses" sounds like a must-read.
on Nicolas Cage:

"Nic was absolutely determined to prove that he wasn't there as the result of nepotism. So, everything Francis wanted him to do, he went against - to show that he wasn't under his uncle's wing. (Nic's uncle is Francis Ford Coppola) Which was ridiculous. Oh, that stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems. He was arrested twice for drunk-driving and, I think, once for stealing a dog. He'd come across a chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket."

Nic just issued the following statement to TMZ:
"I have never been arrested for anything in my life, nor have I stolen a dog. I am reaching out to my fans -- many of whom are children -- so they know that I do not condone drunk driving or theft. The reason why you've never seen a mug shot of me is because it does not exist."

Nobody Wants Jessica Simpson

Gigantic headed John Mayer didn't even want her! Well, at least she still has Papa Joe.

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has dumped Jessica Simpson and is going to propose marriage on Valentine’s Day to his college sweetheart, the Enquirer has learned exclusively.

And here’s a shocker for Jessica: The entire time Tony was dating her, he was two-timing her with Crystal Kasper - a 25-year-old optometrist he first fell for during his student days at Eastern Illinois University.

“If you could see Tony’s phone bill from all the calls and text messages he sends Crystal, you’d be stunned,” said an insider close to the quarterback.

“They couldn’t hook up much during the season. She was finishing her doctoral studies in Florida. But I know Tony flew Crystal to a game in Chicago where they spent time together.

“Tony’s family is happy because he’s dumped Jessica and the Hollywood scene.”

Britney Tries To Pick Up Her Kids at an Elementary School

Britney showed up to a local elementary school earlier this week and insisted she was there to pick up her kids.

She allegedly arrived at the Beverly Hills elementary school and said she was there to pick up Sean Preston and Jayden James. But when the school questioned her she quickly changed her story.

A bystander tells Us Weekly, "She was just rambling and confused. She was wearing her pink wig, and got back into her car and started using her asthma inhaler.

The witness went on to say that her erratic behavior, bizarre wig, skimpy outfit, and chain smoking scared the kids. "Some of the kids were freaked out".

Britney HasBeen Doing Drugs Since She Was 13

Britney's Uncle, "Road Kill Willie" poses proudly in his camper


In an exclusive interview with The Sun , Britney Spears' uncle, Willie Spears, (nicknamed "Road Kill Willie") says Britney has been drinking and doing drugs since she was 13. Revealing a childhood that included an alcoholic father and constant fighting, Willie says Britney is gonna die soon. Woo hoo!

After her turbulent early years, Willie says she went "buck-wild" on turning 18, snorting cocaine on her birthday, adding: "She has tried just about everything - cocaine, crystal meth, ecstasy.".."It got worse when she got famous and she found out that people would do what she wanted them to. She wanted to drink, party and go where she wanted to go. She is a ruthless little thing, make no mistake. Nobody controls her. She bosses everyone around her."..."Britney is in an unstable state of mind now and there is nothing anyone can do about it. She is not listening to anybody. She has fired all the people around her who cared because she simply doesn't want people to tell her to stop doing the things she is doing..."If people think she has reached the bottom, they are very wrong."

Willie was interviewed in Kentwood, Louisiana from the comfort of his camper home.

Maybe It's Maybelline...

And in other big news, Britney shops at Rite Aid every day. She was there at FOUR A.M. last night, the time she usually stops in. She told the cashier "she'd like to pose for their ads, because she loves their makeup." Hey, you don't have to spend a fortune on makeup if you want to look as good as Britney. How do you think she keeps her skin so creamy and flawless? Brit spent an hour in the Maybelline aisle. So many choices!

Pondering the lipsticks, Brit wonders if they have a Cheetos flavored in orange

As she left her favorite drugstore, Brit yelled out, "I'm a star, y'all!"

Owen Goes Bong Shopping

Owen Wilson was spotted shopping for a bong this week, suggesting that maybe his whole “I don’t have a drug problem” deal may not be true.
At the Green House Smoke Shop in in Venice, Calif., onlookers say he spent 20 minutes browsing marijuana pipes before spending nearly $300 on a bong.
Possibly paranoid already, he then hid behind a FedEx truck to avoid paparazzi detection before sprinting to his car, his giant bong in hand.

Halle Berry To Give Birth in March

"Engaged" Britney Doesn't Want Her Kids Back

Brit, in her busted sunglasses, shows the world she is still desirable, by wearing an engagement ring that she bought for herself

Oh Oh, Brit! You have a stain on your shirt and pants!

Adnan's wife, with her really cool pearls

Britney Spears' legal woes reached a peak of intensity today as her closest confidant was cross examined by her ex husband's lawyer.
Sam Lutfi, Britney's porky, oily pal, who been her constant companion in recent months, was deposed yesterday by Mark Vincent Kaplan, who represents Kevin Federline.
Legal sources told TMZ.com that Lutfi was "grilled like a cheeseburger" about his relationship with Spears.
Lutfi's testimony will be critical when the Spears-Federline custody hearing goes to trial in April to determine who has custody of Sean and Jayden.

Britney showed off her 'engagement' ring, (that she obviously bought for herself) two days in a row.
Brit is still dating British photogapher Adnan Ghalib, who is MARRIED, and Adnan, 35, is claiming in interviews that Britney wants to marry him and have his baby. She told Kevin that she would just "kill the kids", and later said she was "ONLY KIDDING", and would just have SOME MORE.

They Finally Talked Her Into Rehab

Amy excitedly prepares to enter rehab



Kelly Osbourne wiped away tears last night as she helped her friend Amy Winehouse check into rehab, along with Amy's father, Mitch. The 23-year-old was on hand to support the singer as she settled into the Marylebone treatment facility to try and kick her addiction to drugs. The two have been friends for many years, long before Amy was an addict. Amy's family, friends, and record company finally made her realize that it was her only choice.

Angelina Is Expecting Twins

Jessica Simpson Finally Finds Something She's Good At

Posing for the packages of blow-up sex dolls

GET OVER YOURSELF

A lot of celebrities have been asked about the untimely death of Heath Ledger and the responses have ranged from grief to admiration. What one celebrity said is so embarrassing (to him) it's actually shocking. That celebrity, my friends, was John Travolta.

“I would give back all my awards and all my nominations just to have him back.”
OH SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. WOW, John, would you really? Because that is so unselfish and generous of you, you bloated, ridiculous freak.
celebritysmack

Don't Eat Britney's Food!

Last week, Britney Spears and Sam Lufti invited six paparazzi to Spears' Beverly Hills mansion for champagne and dinner to explain that rival paparazzo Adnan Ghalib's relationship with Britney was over (it's not). They also got a front row seat to the crazy. OK! Magazine reports:

Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the party came to a screeching halt. "Britney went into her bedroom and came out in a different pair of jeans and her pink wig," one of the photogs tells OK!. "Her eyes went wide and she was yelling, 'How the fuck did you get in here? Get the fuck out! Sam, get them out! Why are they eating my food? Get them out!'" Britney's complete 180-degree turn was shocking, even to the most hardened of the paparazzi. "One person walked into that bedroom, someone else walked out," one of the photographers tells OK!. "It was scary."
idontlikeyouinthatway

Amy's Dad Tries To Get Her LockedUp

Amy Winehouse's hairdo reached towering new proportions as the troubled singer stepped out in London , as her frantic father admitted her family have looked into getting her locked up under the Mental Health Act.

The troubled star, who has refused to check into rehab for the fourth time after a video of her smoking crack was made public, was seen in London's Regents Park today, looking gross as ever.

Lindsay Still Does Drugs

The NY Daily News is reporting that a high profile drug dealer out of NYC is ready to sell his story and drop a TON of celebrity names that are / were his clients. After a bit of probing, the newspaper got him to confess that one of his clients was Lindsay Lohan. He even goes on to say that she contacted him after her stint in rehab but he wouldn’t serve her because of the situation.
The Daily News does not pay sources, so Lindsay was the only name we got out of him.
“Lindsay was texting him over and over the week she was in town with [boyfriend at the time] Riley Giles,” says the broker.
“But he said he wouldn’t see her because she was just out of rehab.”

Blind Item

Yep, it's Ellen


I was about to tell everyone about the celebrity lesbian couple. If you can't handle kinky, then you better close your eyes right now and either ignore this, or perhaps have someone read it to you in very small doses. As with any couple, there are two people. In this case, there is an actress and a non-actress. Could be a celebrity, could be not, but is definitely not currently an actress. Anyway, the non-actress of our couple has a serious need for kink. The way this need is met is by bringing a man into the bedroom every so often. Not frequently. A few times a year at most. The non-actress enjoys being forced to be with men and do things that she would normally never do or think about doing with a man, or anyone actually. Our actress is in charge during each of these sessions and enjoys it thoroughly. She enjoys being in charge and making the non-actress as uncomfortable and as miserable as possible because it doesn't happen often in or out of the bedroom. The more misery the better as far as the non-actress is concerned. One sure way to see when one of these sessions has happened is a very long vacation for the couple almost immediately thereafter.
crazydaysandnights

Britney's Cool New Plan

Britney's plan is to "just have more kids"

Britney "mugs for the camera" after running over a dude on a motorcycle last night

"Did we kill that dude, y'all?"


At the request of Britney Spears and her attorneys, an emergency hearing was called today in the ongoing child custody case between Spears and Kevin Federline. Her lawyers were there, Federline was there, guess where Britney was? TMZ says:

Brit arrived at the courthouse and went through the metal detector, but then had a change of heart and didn't want to go inside the courtroom. Sources told TMZ Brit wanted visitation restored in a "therapeutic setting" -- meaning under the treatment of medical professionals -- but that wasn't gonna happen, especially since she never showed to make a plea...Britney was shut down in her attempt to regain some sort of visitation. There are no changes. K-Fed has sole custody and no visitation for Brit for now. But Brit has a plan! She told the paparazzi: "I'll just have more kids because I'm sick of this shit." BRILLIANT!

Jami Lynn To Give Up Old Man's Baby

WHY?

As if John Goodman and Kid Rock aren't ugly enough on their own, here they are mixed together for the Photoshop "Partial Facial Transplant" Contest. I seriously won't sleep tonight.

David Letterman and Jay Leno

OH PLEASE STOP

Puff Daddy Diddle Doodle Pee Diddy Puffy Dumpling Doodler Diddy, is changing his name again! OH COOL, I can't wait! Hey I have a crazy idea.. how about YOUR REAL NAME, you ridiculous attention whore?

Denise Richards is TRASH

Denise Richards needs to be killed, or at least stopped. Why aren't the courts looking at this abusive, nasty, hooker trash? She's been using her children to f**k with Charlie's head for years now, and the courts continue to let her. Her daughters don't have a single shred of self esteem. Has anyone EVER seen either of them smile? TIP, YOU UGLY WHORE: KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO SMILE, NOT CHEW ON FILTHY GREASE RAGS, and slurp on pacifiers past the age of ONE.

She's at it again, and Charlie's not going to take it anymore. Denise is trying to do a reality show with their two toddler daughters, Sam and Lola. She needs Charlie to give his approval so she can exploit their daughters and cause as much mental damage as possible - hey, it's the only thing she's good at. Wisely, Charlie has thus far refused, so Denise is taking him to court to revoke Charlie's power as the children's father so she can exploit the children as she wishes.
Thanks, Sarah

Holy Candy’s Top 5 Names for Denise’s new reality show are:

5. Pimping Kids with the Washed-Up Stars

4. Making It Big — With My Husband’s Alimony

3. My Life on the Straight-to-DVD List

2. Starting Over (With My Friend’s Husband)

1. Denise and Charlie: Chaotic

Britney's New Love Will Last a Lifetime

Oh Oh, Brit! You have a stain!


Britney and her gross new paparazzi man went back to her house and drank for four hours

Britney buys Amy Winehouse's CD

Britney and her sidekick, Sam Lufti, share a yummy intimate moment on the same night


Britney wasted no time moving on after dumping her photographer boyfriend Adnan - she invited paparazzo Felipe Teixeira into her car over the weekend and reportedly asked him out on a date