I Don't Wear This Tacky Crap But You Should!

My daddy says I'm pretty


Jessica Simpson stormed into Macy's like she owned the place, held up some cheap, nasty hooker crap that she claims she "designed", and will never wear, refused to speak to anyone, held up a picture of herself, WTF?? and then left the store.

Brad's Mom Puts Angelina on Blast

Angelina often collapses because of her drug use


According to reports, Thanksgiving is going to be a tough holiday for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Sources say the couple are planning to spend the holiday with Pitt’s family in Missouri. The insider claims Jolie is “terrified” of being alone with Pitt’s mother, Jane Pitt.

Reports in the past say Jolie and Jane have never gotten along as Jane still has a relationship with Jennifer MANiston. Jane has most recently criticized Jolie revealing her past substance abuses to the media.

“Jane was livid when she saw Angelina’s drug quotes and she really let her have it when there were on the phone together shortly after. Jane told Angelina there was nothing to gain from rehashing her past problems as a user and that she has a lot more to think about that just herself – she should have considered her kids and her family first,” the source claims.
I say Bitch needs to mind her own!

Guess The Celeb, Shown Here in 1989

Poor Sean Preston's Bottle Rot Teeth

image: celebritysmack

Worried Paul Wants Custody Now

Paul McCartney wants custody of his daughter after seeing Heather Mills' major meltdown on TV. Paul, 65, has already consulted lawyers. A close friend said: "Paul fears Heather's lost her mind and needs help. He's deeply worried.

"She claimed to the world that her life's at risk. If that's true, so is Bea's and she must be with her dad."

After a tense face-to-face confrontation between the warring couple on Friday, angry McCartney asked an aide: "Is Heather trying to kill me?"

Last week Paul watched open-mouthed in astonishment as Bea hid behind his legs when big sister Stella called her over.

Friends say he was even more furious when the child referred to his daughter as "that bad woman" and told him: "Mummy's so sad."

Christina Gushes to Glamour Magazine

"That’ll be about the time I enter into mommyhood, so… I’m hoping to have started a beautiful family with my husband! He’s thrilled! He’s just great. He’s so supportive and amazing through everything. He came with me on the last leg of the tour and he was my support system… I gush. I’m a lucky girl."

...Christina Aguilera, sharing her New Years resolutions for 2008

Hey Wait! Where's the "resolution?"

Rihanna is Gorgeous

Rihanna arriving at the World Music Awards in Monaco.

Rihanna looks amazing in her emerald green gown. She always looks fabulous and in my opinion is one of the hottest young women in Hollywood right now.
source: celebritysmack

Britney's Tanning Emergency

Britney had to park in a handicapped space, y'all! She's too fat to get out of her car.

Amy Scares Snoop With Spaghetti Tantrum

Snoop Dogg went to Amy Winehouse's dressing room right before the MTV Europe Awards in Munich last week to show her some love. Snoop was left shocked as came upon quite the scene.

Wino was throwing around fruit, tables, chairs and a plate of spaghetti .

A source told the Mirror, " An hour and a half before the show, Snoop said he wanted to see Amy. When we got there, she was frothing at the mouth and acting like a lunatic . Everyone, including her management, just stood there as she hurled spaghetti at the walls.

"It went on for about five minutes - with her kicking the walls and throwing whatever she could get her hands on - even the tables and the chairs. Then she started cutting up the rug. Snoop was just standing there open-mouthed.

"He was pretty freaked out by it and didn't want to hang out with her after that."

Kid Rock Brings Class to Scottsdale

Always classy Kid Rock at the 5th anniversary celebration of Electric Ladyland in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Later, he took a bunch of strippers shopping at The Fashion Square Mall there.
source: tmz

Nick and Vanessa's Pool Party

Vanessa Minnillo is still trying to force Nick Lachey into marrying her, but for now, the boring tramp enjoys attention by having a pool party this past Friday in El San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Here she cozies up to singer Peppa, pretending to talk to her when she sees the camera.

Lindsay Off Balance

Lindsay Lohan's boobs nearly tip her over on a shopping spree at Forever 21.

The Beyonce Experience is Gross

The "Bootylicious" singer just performed a concert at the Grand Stage in Shanghai on November 5th, continuing on with her world tour titled “The Beyonce Experience”.

The show came after Beyoncé canceled a planned performance in Malaysia amid speculation that she objected to a strict dress code banning sexy attire. She's not sexy, she's been called "vulgar" and "inappropriate." Maybe her mom should stop making her ridiculous costumes, and she should close her big, shiny tree trunks, yuk.

Meatloaf Quits Music

MEATLOAF may never play another show again.

The roly-poly star made the shock claim shortly before pulling out of a gig halfway through last night.

He announced, This is the last show I may ever do in my life. The 60-year-old star walked off an hour into his show at Newcastle’s Metro Arena.

The star, who looked to have been struggling all night, said, "I can no longer continue.
I take my coat off and thank you for 30 years."

Promoter ANDREW MILLER said, "It’s clear it’s just exhaustion and stress.
It’s not his last ever gig, that’s for sure. He'll be fine."

Nancy Grace is a Mom

49-year-old Nancy Grace and her husband, David Linch, gave birth to their twins(him too) early Sunday evening. Nancy developed Pulmonary edema during her pregnancy, so her doctor decided it was best to have the twins now. People reported this Summer her babies were due in January. Huh? 2-months early?

John David weighed 5 lbs., 1 oz. at birth and her daughter Lucy Elizabeth weighed 2 lbs., 15 oz. at birth. Despite their low birth weight, both babies are doing fine.
source: dlisted

Sarah Agrees, She is NOT SEXY

Sarah Jessica Parker was asked what she thought about being voted "The Unsexiest Woman Alive" by Maxim Magazine. SJP laughed it off and said:

"What they don't know is that one day I'll wake up fat. But I'll still be happy, just like I am now. I believe in the old 'sticks and stones' philosophy, so frankly their words don't come close to hurting. And it does not bother me in the least if people don't think I'm sexy.

"I don't think I am, either."

Britney Has Given Up

"Those perty light things are so sparkly, Y'all!"





As Britney's skin gets worse, and she continues to gain weight, she has one friend on her side. Gay N'Sync singer, Lance Bass, paid her a visit last night and said she's doing "great." Mmm Hmm.She looked disoriented and out of place standing in an expensive chandelier shop, trying to pick out a chandelier for one of the homes she pays a $49,000. a month mortgage for. While she did this, HER KIDS SAT IN THE CAR. She stays in a different hotel every night. She is being sued by the manager who made her famous from 1999-2003, because he owes him alot of money. New charges have been brought against her for running over that cop's foot.

Then she was seen strolling around Beverly Hills yesterday in a pair of crumpled pajama pants. She becomes more like Michael Jackson every day. Wearing your pajamas in public is a sure sign of giving up hope.

Christina and Halle's New Pregnant Pics

Christina Aguilera just "announced" her pregnancy.

Katie Runs NYC Marathon

Katie Holmes finished the New York marathon today. The 26.2 miles took her 5 1/2 hours, and she finished in 34,195th place. She ran for 5 1/2 hours without a bra? OW! I guess it wouldn't hurt her, unless maybe the bones in her chest were banging together. Tom, Suri, Tom's sickening mom and Katie's parents were waiting for her at the finish line. They had an after-party at Tavern on the Green later on.

Breaking News! Britney Too Fat To Get Out of Her Car

Brit struggles to hoist her bloated body from the car

"I done gained 15 pounds last week, y'all."

Though she is unsteady on her feet, her fave boots offer great traction!

"Look, Y'ALL! I gots my frapp-yew-cheeno!"

WHY?! I've seen her real hair, and it looks WAY BETTER!

Valerie Bertinelli Needs to STFU

Valerie Bertinelli has a message for Britney Spears - "stay at home and look after your kids." Bertinelli has no sympathy for Brit, and I know for a fact Britney doesn't care. Valerie has a young son who weighs at least 300 pounds.

She told "Entertainment Tonight," "If you're gonna have children that young, stay at home and take care of them... Put your underwear on and stay home."

Bertinelli is watching troubled Spears' every move - and feels it's time for the pop star to quit posing for the paparazzi and get serious about parenting.

She adds, "How many times do you need to go to the gas station and Starbucks every day?"

And the former child star admits she's sick of seeing today's young actresses behaving badly: "You just want to shake some of them and say, 'Stop it, just stop it!'"

Now I have a message for Valerie:
Dear Valerie,
Mind your own business. Britney is a mess, but you're a liar. Who do you think you're kidding, pretending to have lost 30 pounds?! You LOOK THE SAME. Fat, with old lady clothes that have big ruffles on them. Sorry, it doesn't hide your fat.

It's been reported, and their are police documents to prove it, that the an you are about to marry is a wife beater. He put his wife in the hospital, and you defended him. Not cool.

You go home and stay there. Quit giving interviews about things that are none of your business. Put your husband back in rehab for the 34th time, and put your morbidly obese son on a diet.

Jessica Still Trying to Push Crap Off on Us

NO THANKS. Take your cheap, tacky, shiny hooker shit back to the Cambodian sweatshop it came from. She looks REALLY excited about her "line" of trailer trash accessories for Macy's though. She can't even pretend she likes them, it's like she's afraid to touch them. I know I am. Don't sprain yourself with sincerity, Jessica. It doesn't matter anyway. The whole world hates you.

No Retouching Here!

Michael Jackson is quite the cover boy at the age of 50. That head is from 1990.

This picture of Michael is from 2003. Gross.

I didn't think it was possible for his clothes to be uglier, but they are.

Guess Who Has the Pretty Forehead?

This is the forehead of someone who thinks they're REALLY COOL! Ha! Ha! Guess, and I'll tell you on Monday! I know you can't wait.

Larry Has No Respect for Jerry

What's the deal with Larry?

Who the hell am I?

Jerry Seinfeld looked pretty annoyed with crusty 103 year old Larry King when Larry didn't have a clue about Jerry's classic show. What's the deal with that?

On Thursday's "Larry King Live," the uninformed corpse asked Jerry if "Seinfeld" was canceled, and he was serious. Jerry seemed genuinely shocked that Larry (his "Bee Movie" co-star) didn't know. "You think I got canceled?" Jerry shot back. "I was the number one show on television, Larry ... 75 million viewers in the last episode."

Bury this dude. He clearly doesn't even know who HE is, let alone a guest on his show. He is not only too old to be on TV, he's too old to be alive. Is he alive? He's painful to watch.

Zitney Packs on the Pounds

Back on October 26th, Britney Spears was leaving a courthouse when the car she was in apparently ran over a deputy’s foot. And now the authorities are investigating the incident. She may be charged with a hit and run.

Everybody gets a pimple now and then, but who walks around with them just hanging off their face? Take care of those things! This dumb bitch pays $49,000.00 a month on 2 mortgages, and here she is staying at the Four Seasons Hotel again. AND WHY is she still driving?

Tell Neil Halloween is Over

I used to love Neil Young. The seventies, heroin addicted Neil, the one who sang broken ballads of despair. Then he started singing about politics and farms and terrorists. Lighten up dude. Oh, and bad news: that "filthy mountain man look" you've been rocking since the early nineties isn't really working for you anymore. It was okay in 93' during the grunge stuff and your Pearl Jam days but it is EXTRA stale now, especially for dinner in Beverly Hills. You might want to look into a bath, friend.