Lindsay Has "Legitimate Projects" LOL!!!

Lindsay's Myspace profile is myspace.com/privacycunt1. This is what she wrote to gay blogger Jonathon Jaxson today about Perez Hilton:

Michael Whips The Crowd Into a Frenzy

Michael Jackson, looking REALLY GOOD for him, drove the crowd at designer Christian Audigier's birthday wild when he took the microphone. Guests were on the edge of their seats, no one was breathing, as they waited for him to start singing..."She was more than a beauty queen from a movie scene..." But, sadly, he just said very quietly "Christian is the King of Fashion." Then he sat down.

And even sadder, Pamela Anderson, the broke down ho, started singing instead

PLEASE.

These look-a-likes, who aren't look-a-likes at all, attended the 17th Annual Reel Awards last night in Las Vegas. It's like the Oscars for impersonators, and I really hope none of these freaks won.
As if this old Spanish guy looks a thing like Johnny Depp, just because of his facial hair and glasses, go home, dude

She is way too old to be a Britney look-a-like, and, she needs to be way fatter

Okay, this Tupac is pretty good, but how hard is it to look like Tupac if you're a black dude?

And this Jessica is pretty good too, she looks stupid and ugly, just like the real one

Nice wave. Nope, not Martha

The Brad and Angelina are the worst, so lame.

As if those clowns look A THING like them

Ray J Thrown Out Of Hotel For Drugs

Ray J, Whitney's man, was kicked out of the Hyatt Hotel because they found...wait...who is THEY? Since when do peeps search your room in a hotel? Oh, I guess Ray J was making too much noise, so they threw him out and he went to the Holiday Inn. Anyway, "they" found some club drug called loveboat in his room, which is a PCP laced joint dipped in formaldehyde. OOhhh sounds so tasty. Whitney will be mad as hell that her stuff was confiscated!

Jessica Biel is Ugly

Jessica Biel was looking really cheerful and pretty as usual, at a Florida Marlins gae this weekend.

Britney Makes Fun of Julia Roberts

Well, Julia Roberts is no prize, but um... why is Britney making fun of her?

Does Britney think she's better than her? Prettier? Funnier?


At least Julia doesn't have big sores all over her face, wears a bra, and doesn't have to have her dad follow her everywhere she goes
At least Julia cares for her kids, instead of pretending she has them by putting a teddybear from Rite Aid in a highchair


I wonder if these pictures were taken by Jason, Brit's new agent who she loves and trusts so much?


Of course there's even a stain on her shirt

Celine Dion is Really, Really Clean

I guess that's why she used 6.5 million gallons of water at her Marin County, Florida home last month. Maybe she needed the water to wash her son's luxurious hair. Mirror UK reports:

The figure - enough to fill a 50-gallon bathtub every four minutes - was taken from her utility bill records....Most homes in the area, which has a population of 126,000, use just 10,000 gallons a month to water the grass and clean their cars."

Sharon Stone is Not a Nice Person

I'm not even going to try and understand what is underneath Sharon Stone's skirt. But today, as the death toll reached 67,183 at noon , the earthquake that shook China's Sichuan Province of Beichuan is one of the most devastating recorded natural disasters in history. Along with the 361,822 injured and 20,790 missing, 15 million people have been relocated. But, according to Sharon, they are a bunch of whiners who probably got just what they had coming to them! Fox News spoke with Sharon, and she said:

I'm not happy about the way that the Chinese are treating the Tibetans because I don't think anyone should be unkind to anyone else," she told reporters at Cannes. "And so I have been very concerned about how to think and what to do because I don't like that." She said she's also been wondering how the United States should handle the Olympics because China is "not being nice to the Dalai Lama, who's a good friend of mine." When the earthquake hit, Stone wondered if it was a case of what goes around, comes around. "Then all this earthquake and all this stuff happened, and I thought, is that karma? When you're not nice, that the bad things happen to you?"

Will Smith Is Really, Really Happy

Being married to an angry lesbian means true joy. Oh, and also, there can be no divorce. EVER.

because Scientology doesn't allow divorce! Will said:

“Divorce can’t be an option - it’s really that simple. If you just remove the option… because, if you have the option, one day that person’s gonna make you wanna divorce. Especially if you're married to a mean, controlling lesbian like I am.

“That’s been a huge part of the success for she and I… We’re like, ‘Listen, we’re gonna be together one way or the other so might as well try and be happy.”

Amy Winehouse Wears Diapers

I'm sorry to have to tell you/show you this, but you need to know. And, because I had to see it, so do you...

Amy wears a DIAPER

Brooke Hogan in Car Accident. LOL!

Brooke's new Mercedes slammed into a 1997 Toyota on the Clearwater Bayside Bridge. Luckily, her passenger is not in a coma, and her brain, such as it is, remains intact. Mommy and Daddy were there to make sure that the accident will be blamed on the other driver. What did Brooke do immediately following her accident? She rushed home, and got on Myspace, (SERIOUSLY) and dedicated her car wreck to Nick and his brain dead passenger, thanking them both for reminding her to wear her seat belt. Oh, and she wants us to pray for her.

She also said: "I don't know if you heard, but my friend and I got into a really bad car accident today ourselves... As I turned on my car I clicked my seatbelt. As we pulled out onto the road, I looked over and realized my friend didn't have her seatbelt on. I reminded her to put it on and the minute she clicked it, a car crashed into us. It was a horrible car accident, one that most would be severely hurt in, but we had our seatbelts on and they kept us in tight. I owe my brother Nick and his friend John our lives." This exaggeration and excuse to try to squeeze some prayer or sympathy from the public, (who hates her) was since taken off her myspace page. So, in other words, BROOKE HOGAN SAVES LIVES!!!

Kate Hudson Shouldn't Laugh

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong are still together after two weeks of having sex.

Both ugly, both boring
and.. Kate is extra ugly when she laughs, gross

The Cruise's Threaten Baby Store

Baby store Petit Tresor has been delivered an angry letter from Tom Cruise's lawyers, claiming that they "leaked" info about Katie's lavish purchases there. Don't Tom and Kate have anything better to do? Shouldn't she be out trying to buy something else, maybe some more gigantic old lady sunglasses? UGH.

Lindsay's Dad: "Anyone with Half a Brain Can See That Lindsay is a Lesbo"

Michael Lohan acknowledges Lindsay is a lesbo, but feels she needs to take this up with God. He told Us Weekly:

Michael Lohan isn’t playing dumb when it comes to his daughter Lindsay’s close relationship with deejay Samantha Ronson. Days after photos of them nuzzling necks in Cannes, France, surfaced, he tells Usmagazine.com in an e-mail their relationship “is evident to anyone with half a brain.”

Still, he adds, “Just like the topless photo spread, Linds is my daughter and there are just some things a father doesn’t want to see or hear, regardless of whether they are true or false.” His daughter, 21, “is a big girl, and she can make her own life choices. Then it is between her and God.”

Michael — who volunteers for a Christian-based rehab organization — couldn’t help but take a swipe at his ex Dina (who just debuted her new E! reality show). “Maybe her mother’s life revolves around the tabloids and reports, but mine doesn’t,” Michael says. “I am into setting a good example and doing good things that don’t deceive or exploit my kids.

Nicole Richie Strolling on Memorial Day

Britney's New Chubby Love

Britney and her agent Jason were first seen in Costa Rica together, and now they attended a birthday party together. Brit is telling everyone that she wants to be with him all of the time. Jason, who works for the William Morris Agency, has put a smile back on Britney's face.

Your Daily Amy

Amy's skin, looking creamy and luminous last evening

Amy attacked photographers outside her home last night

Kate Hudson & Lance Armstrong's Love "Heats Up"

She looks like such a bitch