I'm Freakin' Scared, Y'ALL!



Frightened by her recent angry fan mail, Britney Spears has enrolled in Krav Maga Classes, which teach Israeli Martial Arts. The strength training classes are designed so that you can learn to be your own bodyguard! She's training very hard, and also has her eye out for a new man.

I am praying that no one harms me, but this fan mail has become freakin' scary!" the bloated beast revealed. I'm freakin' rich, y'all! It's crazy!"

UGH.