Kids Choice Awards Brings Out The Fugs

The Kids Choice Awards had Cameron Diaz covering her acne with grease to enjoy the only event she's invited to anymore.

Smeared with glitter to appear youthful, Cameron's chest acne was sparkling with glee.
Not even the layers of make-up she carefully applied could hide her pain of not having a date since Justin over a year ago. Fast approaching forty, Cameron still prizes her award she won from the Kids eight years ago for "Best Burp", (her only award to date) Her old lady dress certainly didn't help her already gruesome appearance, but she tried to put on a brave face.

And her skin close up, oh my, it was hard to look, but even harder to look away.

Another disfigured freak who was in attendance was Asslee Simpson, who becomes more unrecognizable as each day passes. A chin implant,her second boob job, (a bad one) and a hearty dose of heroin is just what the doctor ordered! Say... girls? A tip: Glitter "went out" almost ten years ago, and it's always been "out" on anyone over the age of 17. Are you listening, Bobby Trendy?

Asslee and Cam were heard discussing how many layers of make-up they wore to the Kid Friendly event.
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Ashton's Co-Star Enrages Demi!


Ashton took a break from filming his movie (that no one on earth will see), in the pool with co-star Margarita Levieva, a former member of the Russian rhythmic gymnastics Olympic team.

Later, Margarita plucked an eyelash off of Ashton's face, and he blew on it, making a wish. This sent Demi into a triple deluxe rage, and she jumped into the pool, fully clothed.
Don't worry, Ashton, your crazy old woman wife, Demi is never far away. Demi was heard shouting, "Over here, Ash! I want your eye lash, Ash!"
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Katie Collapses Under the Weight of Teeny's Gayness


When Katie recently lunched at her favorite restaurant, L.A.'s Joan's on Third, it was obvious that something was terribly wrong. She seemed exhausted, her skin was pale, and she looked feeble and emaciated. "She gave us a weak smile and wave before leaving out the back door," says an eyewitness at the restaurant. Once outside, a confused and unsteady Katie braced herself against the door frame before her bodyguard carefully guided her into a waiting SUV."
Eat then, you dumb bitch. NO ONE feels sorry for you, plus, you look like a man now.
"Oh hahahahah!!!!!!!!! We're so cool!!!!"


However, the reason for Katie's health problems appears to be Lil' Man himself. You think? Too bad. You married the little elf, he's your prob.
To complicate matters even further, while Tom goes off for days at a time ("His rule is 'You can be with me, but don't ask about it,'" says a source). Katie doesn't want to know. Hahahahahah!!!!! Gay stuff. Duh. Hey Robot girl, want to watch me and my gay friends frolic around? Or, stay with my MOM, the hideously grinning Mary Lee! I. LIKE. HER. CHOICES.
Katie is overseeing the interior design of their lavish $35 million Beverly Hills mansion. "To him, the home is a status symbol," says a source, "so it's on Katie's shoulders to pull off something beyond magnificent, something Tom can brag about. She's giving herself headaches thinking about it and making herself sick." Oh boo hoo. A mansion to decorate. How will she survive!!


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Flabby Lesbo Lunch

Mischa Barton had a yummy lesbo lunch with Lindsay's lover, the ever manly Samantha Ronson.

Mischa was looking flabby and gross.
She was wearing a ratty old outfit from the bottom of the laundry hamper, and the shirt said "let's bite some butts." Must be some kind of lesbian code. I bet its real funny though.

Oh my! It certainly looks like she could use a shave too.. GEE- ROSE
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Brit Bits

Well I had no Britney news for ten whole days. I feel fresh and alive! So here's all "the latest: She has a HORRIBLE new purse.

She goes to secretly have her butt cleansed because it makes her feel "more upbeat." There has been recent speculation that Jayden is really Justin Timberlake's son!
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We will back track 9 months before Jayden was born December 2005.

Britney checked into a hotel that Justin Timberlake was in the Four Seasons... Justin was by him self... both parties remained at the hotel until the next day so they spent the night... but not together or it was never confirmed.

Britney checked in with her son Sean Preston... 9 months later Jayden came into this world. Jayden was conceived through a C-Section, coincidence on the day Justin released his CD Future Love/Sex.

Britney went crazy after Jayden's birth, his name " J.

J", she's always holding Jayden in every shot, she locked herself in her room with Jayden because she didn't want to give him back to Kevin, and she hid Jayden from him.
She still stains her clothes and is wearing those rotten boots

Britney can't Drive!

She is never seen behind the wheel of a car in public anymore. But inside her gated community, neighbors say Brit kills time by using the cul-de-sacs as her own private speedway.

One neighbor tells E! News "Britney seriously drives every afternoon around the neighborhood over and over - like back and forth from her house to the gate to her house, spins around the cul-de-sac and back to the gate. At like 50 miles an hour!"

This high-speed pacing only adds to our image of Brit as a caged animal, yearning to be free... but too much of a menace to herself and society to be let loose.

The neighbor worries Brit is driving too erratically, adding, "She's kind of like a maniac. It's very weird, and I'm scared she's going to run over one of my kids.

She's a pain in the ass:


Despite Britney's appearance on "How I Met Your Mother" getting the show its highest ever ratings, her three-day stint on set of the CBS sitcom was a "pain", and caused delays in filming due to her "erratic demeanor", insiders claim. "Her mood changes are so sudden, you don't understand where they're coming from," the insider tells. And at one point, she got into a telephone fight with younger sister Jamie Lynn - because the pregnant teen had called Britney's ex, Kevin Federline. Standing in a hallway, says a source, Britney was heard shouting into the phone, "You're turning on me like everyone else. First Mama wanted to sleep with Kevin and now you’re calling him. And you live in a house I paid for!" The 26-year-old then started asking people on the set if they liked puppies.
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She's SO NOT Hot

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Madonna On Britney

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She said: "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again.
I just can't - unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. She also spoke about her old pal Britney:

She said: "I actually
love Britney's new album. I usually work out to her record. People need to step off her."
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