Dina Lohan: Saintly Soul Sister

The amazing Dina Lohan has begun filming on her REALITY show, and we are privileged to spend a TYPICAL day with this regular mom. Coked up Dina, the self proclaimed White Oprah, first treats us to her picking up her grandmother, (and, apparently, borrowing her grandmother's blouse to wear too), and taking her to a dance class in Harlem:

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Also, IF THIS IS her "grandmother", you know she hasn't seen the poor old lady in years. They stop off to help out at the emergency food pantry

and everyone in Harlem is so happy to see her, because she comes there all the time to volunteer her whoreishness and stuff

Dina busts a move to Play that Funky Music, and instead of singing "white boy", to honor their idol, everyone sings "white Oprah" in that part

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Dina is overcome by emotions ranging from the depth of her soul sister roots to her pride in being a true part of the black community. It's NOT BECAUSE SHE'S BEING FILMED, remember, this is REAL

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Jayden at the Gym

Well Kevin may be fat, but he still sends his boys to the gym to "work out" on a regular basis. Here is little Jayden at the gym yesterday with his nanny.

Muscle Man Madonna Believes She's an Actress

Madonna is trying to get permission to re-make Casablanca. Um...Why does she keep trying to "make movies?" Who's That Girl, Dick Tracy, Swept Away. I mean please, Madonna, you can't even sing, let alone act. Be happy that you convinced the world that you were a pop star, and now go away quietly.

And the Horrible Movies Just Keep on Coming

YAWN. Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway have the time of their lives on the set of their exciting new movie, "Bride Wars."

Jamie Lynn is Phat

Jamie Lynn out and about with her growing fetus today

Clumsy Freak Falls Over Her Feet

Thanks to the Dailymail, we now have the complete set of pics from poor Paris's fall. Enjoy!

Lindsay Lohan: Lesbian Housewife

Lindsay and her manly lover, Samantha Ronson go grocery shopping. Lindsay has promised Sam she will start to act like the middle aged housewife that Samantha wants her to be.

Britney Coming to TV's Everywhere!

Yesterday Lindsay was photographed stumbling out of some bushes, and now Britney is trying it too. Brit may get her own TV series, and her dad Jamie is weighing the offers. Tina Fey said she would put Brit on 30 Rock, because she worked with her twice on SNL and found her to be professional and nice, unlike Paris, who she said was the nastiest piece of sh*t she ever met in her life. LOL

Moldy Goldie

It's amazing what a little, (or alot) of make-up can do for someone. See? Stars really are "just like us."

Lara's Disfigured Face

AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's wrong with Lara Flynn Boyle?! No, really?

The Twin Peaks actress was barely recognizable as she signed autographs at Mr Chow's in Beverly Hills last night

Lara, in "happier times"

Madonna is Ugly and Too Cool To Watch TV

Madonna's daughter, werewolf girl wants to help Britney.

“She knows Britney, but she doesn’t really watch TV or read gossip stuff, because we are way too cool for that," the old hag said in the interview. “I think she sort of gets the drift of what’s going on, and I think she feels very protective of Britney.”

Steve-O Mad at The Enquirer

Steve-O is hitting back at the National Enquirer for saying he’s a drug-addled girl-groper. He’s only drug-addled, he says on his Myspace blog:

The stories that are circulating right now about me being at some party hitting on random girls and asking to snort drugs from their breasts are not true at all. I will be the first to admit that I’ve snorted all kinds of drugs, in all sorts of situations, but I take offense to claims that I was running around hitting on random women at a time when I was under the impression that I was engaged to be married. I know many of you who are in receipt of this message from me work in the media, and I would greatly appreciate it if you would squash this dishonest journalism. These stories are so untrue, they place me at a party hitting on women when I was locked up in the looney bin.

As excuses go, “I could not have made a debauched public spectacle of myself because I was in a mental institution” is a pretty good one.

?

from Crazy Days and Nights: A singer. This one is young and married and female, and is definitely an A list singer if there were such a category. Not married to a celebrity so you can just take that Avril Lavigne guess right out of your head. Seems the thing they most enjoy in their sex life is bringing in another person. Always guys. Seems our young husband can’t quite decide which team he is playing for and likes the extra boost that a guy brings to the bedroom.
My pick:

Ha Ha

I wish I hadn't missed Richie Sambora getting arrested. I hate him, stupid, big ugly drunken dork, couldn't get one line right on Saturday Night Live. He had ONE LINE and couldn't say it. "Dated" that fish lipped hooker bitch Denise Richards, CHEATED on HEATHER LOCKLEAR, how dare HE. I can tell he has bad breath, his ears are gigantic, he's flabby and always has a sunburn. His music sucks, and he's a LOSER. I'm glad he was arrested. Oh! And he might also get child endangerment charges filed against him for having his 10 year old daughter Ava in the car too. I hate people who can't handle their anything, UGH.

Doesn't He Have Some Preaching To Do?

Papa Joe looking fine in a shirt about 4 sizes too small

Miley's Easter Sunday

Miley? If you're going to smear your legs with fake tanner, you might want to put some on your feet too. UGH.

Loving Mom on the Town

J. Lo attended the premiere of some boring movie last night. Does this fame whore ever stay home? She just used her babies for a photo op. God she's gross. Skel is wondering where the hell he is, he's had no sleep since the skeletor twins were born.

Supermodels are Pretty Part 2

Paris Falls Over Her Big Feet Again

Paris is graceful as she shows off her gigantic man feet, but the next day, she fell in Russia, and was reduced to tears! Oh don't worry, as soon as photos are available they will be here.

Paris, right after she fell

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Nice jaw

J. Lo's Death Trap Nursery

In this picture, J. Lo pretends to look at her babies, when she hasn't really seen them since the delivery, for fear she will smell an offensive odor, or be thrown up on.

Staffers at Parents magazine love their celebrity gossip as much as the rest of this TMZ-revering nation, so they were fawning over People Magazines six million dollar J.Lo brats pictorial this week, too. Except they spotted something awry with the new mom’s six-figure nursery.

It’s a baby death trap!

The Meredith Corp.-owned magazine was only too happy to point out Time Inc.’s tabloid’s nursery pictorial, which includes crib “suffocation hazards” called pillows, stuffed animals, and blankets. The “dramatic draped canopies hanging over the cribs” are cause for “strangulation.” And the “cute bows tied onto the crib slats” are “choking hazards as soon as the babies are big enough to get their hands on them.” And there’s an open window sans window guard.
jossip
J. Lo and Marc in happier times, before he knew that he would be her slave

Anthony and Lopez treat (lol) guests to an impromptu duet at the surprise 36th birthday party she threw for him at his Brookville, N.Y., home on Sept. 16, 2004. Below, their first date. Skel was a real gentleman and J. Ho was beaming!

Tacky Old Woman

Why am I posting a picture of a middle aged beat down mother of six from Long Island? It's Lindsay, and I believe she's all of 21 years old. Samantha wanted her hair blonde, but then she cheated on her with flabby Mischa. "Clean" or not, gross both ways.
Speaking of tacky old ho's, here are 3 generations of them.

Lindsay stumbles through the bushes, tears blinding her eyes after seeing Samantha with Mischa

Princess Beatrice: She's Still Available, Guys!

Princess Beatrice, the dazzling beauty and daughter of Andrew and Fergie, (the redhead, not lishus) was guzzling whiskey in Thailand this past weekend. That guy behind her is better looking than she is.

Eeeek! What is Jessica Simpson Hiding?

Her man parts?

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Tranny alert! NICE. SHOES. Jessica tries to conceal her man's ween as she exits her vehicle, after attending a tranny parade in West Hollywood.

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