Teeny Man Begs For His Job Back at Paramount


Tom begged Sumner for another chance, and promised to try to act normal

Last week,our favorite teeny sprout met with former boss Sumner Redstone of Paramount Pictures, who decided not to renew Tom’s contract in 2006.

According to Fox News, “The fact that Teeny groveled in public would indicate that the actor knows just how bad “Valkyrie” is and that he’s trying to shore up his future before the eye patch hits the fan this fall. Certainly, a signed $20 million contract from Paramount would be insurance against this unavoidable disaster destroying his career.” Of course, if he ever needs a back-up career, he is second in command in the Scientology world.


“More importantly, if Sumner allows the lil' sprout back, he will be returning after the release this fall of “Valkyrie,” in which he plays Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, the real-life would-be assassin of Adolf Hitler, with an eye patch, a withered limb and — according to the $100 million film’s trailer — a California accent reminiscent of Jerry Maguire.”

Valkyrie is set to be released this coming October, and follows Teeny’s recent box-office bomb, Lions for Lambs.