If you listen to Howard Stern's Sirius radio show, you have been witnessing the slow, uncomfortable breakdown of comedian/on-air sidekick Artie Lange. Lange, a chubby stand-up comedian who replaced longtime sidekick Jackie and has become a beloved figure on the show, has been gaining even more weight,
blackout drinking and dabbling in drugs over the last year, to the point that his co-workers have expressed concern on-air. Lange’s downward spiral finally came to a head yesterday on the air, when he physically attacked his assistant and hurled various epithets at him, and then quit the show.A little background on Artie, who everyone thinks will be dead soon:
Artie landed a role as a founding cast member of Fox’s new show, Mad TV. For many, Lange was the break-out star of the show, bringing to the screen his own lovable, average guy persona mixed with more than a little bit of John Belushi’s ghost.
Extreme fame is sometimes a dangerous thing for a funny guy with a humble background. Like his hero Belushi and his contemporary Chris Farley, Lange found himself embroiled in the dangerous downward spiral of substance abuse. That, combined with rapid weight gain and a battle with depression, led Artie to stints in rehab, effectively halting his emerging star power.
Rescued from near obscurity by Saturday Night Live alum Norm MacDonald, Lange teamed up with Norm for the cult comedy Dirty Work
and the ABC sitcom The Norm Show. Lange continued to battle his demons although he was working steadily. In addition to acting as the replacement for the late Chris Farley in another David Spade buddy comedy, Lost & Found, Lange has appeared in several high profile films, such as The Bachelor, Mystery Men, Boat Trip, Old School, and Elf, where he played Santa.
Artie quotes:Howard: “Can’t you do a healthy amount of heroin to stay thin?”
Artie: “I swear to god - If i could just do coke so i could lose 100 lbs i would…
Howard: “Why don’t you do the show on an exercise bike.”
“My mother would love it if I brought home an Italian girl… believe me, she’s gonna take whatever Fat Artie can get” |
- Don Rickles called him a "baby gorilla"
- He made a video about how he's a fat drunk...over 10 years ago
- Once, he woke up with a pickle in his underpants
- He's "accidentally" snorted heroin and pooped his pants
- He was reported dead, and everyone believed it
- He drank two entire bottles of Jack Daniels at Howard's birthday party
- Known for saying "Artie's gotta do what Artie's gotta do"
- Courtney Love called him her "soulmate"
- He leaves his shirt and coat on while having sex
Stern was finally left speechless yesterday after a brawl erupted inside his Sirius Satellite studio between his hard-partying sidekick Artie Lange and Lange’s assistant, Teddy, which ended with Lange’s quitting the show. Teddy below
The bickering started off air in the morning, in the hallway adjacent to Stern’s studio. Show staffers overheard Lange screaming at Teddy because Teddy asked him for his passport for the fourth time as he planned their flight to Amsterdam, which was set to take off last night. Lange told Teddy he should have photocopied the passport the first time.
Stern was told they had been bickering and brought it up on air. When Teddy came in to defend himself, Lange snapped.
“He’s a loser,” yelled Lange. “He’s the most unorganized assistant. I want to fire him, but he has no money. I hope he dies of AIDS.”
Lange, who pays Teddy $24,000 a year for part-time work, then accused Teddy of embarrassing him in front of friends last week in LA when he called Bloomingdale’s department store by its nickname, Bloomie’s, and announced the store didn’t have something in Lange’s size.
“I think I hired a fag,” said Lange. “I wanted to throw him out the window.”
Lange then threw a cup of water at Teddy and lunged at him, throwing a punch that didn’t land. Show writer Benjy Bronk jumped on Lange and held him back, while Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund burst in to get Teddy out of the studio. The Limo Driver, below
Lange blamed Stern for the fight, saying that Stern “pushed” him to the breaking point and that he couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t snap again in the future. He then told Stern he loved him and resigned.
“Don’t ever mention Bloomie’s around the guy,” Stern sighed.
One show insider says that the staff loves Lange and is “extremely upset” but that it’s out of Stern’s hands and that Sirius management will soon decide Lange’s fate. The show is on a break next week.
Both Lange and Teddy failed to return calls for comment. Lange was last spotted by a fan at the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th, drowning his sorrows in a plate of food.
I loved Artie in Dirty Work, but the real reason I admire him, is that he designed a cupcake for Crumbs Bakery:Vanilla sponge cake Filled with chocolate buttercream
Designed and created exclusively by Artie Lange of the Howard Stern ShowCovered in vanilla cream cheese frosting and topped with chocolate fondant icing w/white and chocolate sprinkles on the sides! ($3.75 each)
