I tried to avoid watching this clip from Tom Cruise's Scientology birthday bash, and now I know why. You know the Tom we always see, and how much we think we hate him? It turns out that Tom is normal, because he is a freak beyond anything we imagined before. I have so many questions and fears watching this. Taking place on a Scientology cruise ship, the clip begins with quite possibly the worst music I have ever endured, or heard, at any celebration. This doesn't stop little Tom from PUMPING HIS FIST to show his admiration for "hard rock." Then, you see Tom with all of Satan's children, clapping maniacally to clips of his movies in front of them. He cannot get enough of himself, it works him into a fever pitch! The "audience" (yes, his birthday party has an audience) is worked into a blithering frenzy at the mere sight of Tom, and he feels the same way about himself. You can see it, and feel it.Then, oh and by the way, Katie is nowhere to be seen. This is his night, to be shared with his lover, Church leader Brother David, who is wearing a skin tight shirt, and is even smaller and gayer than Teeny himself. There are no celebrity "friends", not even Scientology ones. His party looks like a convention for weed eater salesmen. It is so unbelievably fake and corny, the party itself and the people, that it gave me chills of confusion, and concern for the human race while watching it. I don't get it, and be very frightened if YOU DO. Because that would mean you are one of them. But I bet they won't throw you a $600,000. party.
Next, some lounge singer comes out and starts belting out, "That Old Time Rock and Roll," the single most stale and overplayed song on this planet. Of course we know it holds a deep and special meaning to Teeny, because if not for this song, and him lip synching it in his underwear back in 1983's Risky Business, he would not be the star he is today. Does he need any coaxing to go out on the stage and sing and BREAK DANCE to it? Of course not! He can't sing, at all. That's the least of his worries though. His attempt at some kind of cult- like break dancing is physically painful and intensely nauseating to watch. You see the adoring crowd and how he just FU*KING LOVES himself, and how shockingly out of place he is in this world, and it is at that moment you find yourself thinking, "who ARE these people?" and everything you have read and know about Scientology suddenly all makes sense.
