"Look at meeeeeeee, everyone!" I'm engaged!!!! Look, I got a diamond encrusted engagement ring with B.M. on it for Benji Madden!!! I'm so happeeeee!" Paris? 1. NICE FACE. 2. Nice name, your boyfriend, "Benji". 3. Whether you really are or not, like if it's another side splitting prank by your really funny web-toed friend, Ashton, no one, I mean no one cares.4. If you are engaged, I can personally guarantee you won't make it to the wedding day, and if you should get married it won't last 3 months. If you marry and it lasts 38 years, I can promise you that NO ONE CARES.5. If that's a real ring, that is the tackiest thing I've ever seen in my life, having his big initials on your ring. 6. I swear, and I'm not kidding that you get uglier each and every time I see you. 7. There isn't one soul on earth who can stand the sight of you. Congratulations!
It is at this precise moment that I have decided that Paris is the single most disgusting, useless human being on this earth.
Michael Jackson's ex, Emmanuel Lewis, turned 37 today. My, he is a hottie
Fun flashback, (because we never get to see Oprah anymore)
Soprano's James Gandolfini demonstrates that he can do two retarded things at once. (Old Man stupid hand gesture #317)
Kimora Lee Simmons is pregnant with Djimon Hounsou's baby. Poor Djimon.
I don't know if Timberlake is trying to be funny with his new look, but he needs to know that it is an improvement over his old one.
Tyra Banks attempts to lift Janet Jackson high into the air, only to send them both crashing to the floor in a flurry of laughter.
Angelina borrows style tips from Katie Homes by wearing a musty old dress that belonged to her deceased grandmother, and Maddox, for the first time ever, looks cute instead of a demonic force from Hell.
Arrogant and ugly Gene Simmons (old man making a stupid hand gesture #316) is "bragging" that he has had sex with 3,000 women and can prove it because he has a Poloroid of each one. Gene? Don't you have kids? Or a shred of dignity? You're ugly We saw you having sex just for a split second, and we all think you're really gross. Go home to your slut Shannon and be the old man that you are. Thanks.
Jim Carey, Jenny McCarthy and Jim's daughter Jane, and Jenny's son Evan attend the premiere of Jim's new movie, the Dr. Seuss classic "Horton Hears a Who"
